Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

The overwhelming majority of you have responded by saying you want me to discuss my discoveries and thoughts regarding showing up attractive.

So here we go with that part of the discussion. I’ll be posting videos as well as written articles and I encourage your feedback.  As in my live events, the more you participate the more you receive from me.

Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Over the years, I’ve noticed that guys who come to this work are significantly getting in their own way by reinfecting and reinforcing  the very patterns of thinking and acting  that have been keeping them stuck. As by I’ve said, it’s very difficult to free yourself from your prison when you are consistently re-creating the prison from moment to moment.

Rumination, Rehearsal And Ruins

Whenever I give a talk or teach a seminar, one of the first questions I ask is: “How many here dwell on their mistakes with women? Raise your hand if you spend a lot of time running your mistakes or disappointments over and over in your head.”

At least 70 percent of the room will raise their hand.  The other remaining 30% are either returning students who are doing very well with women thanks to studying and applying my material or they are too embarrassed to raise their hands.

The fact is that ruminating on mistakes, disappointments and fuck-ups is a very common human activity, and even more common for the men who are seeking massive improvement in their love and sex lives.

The next question I always ask is: how many here think they are doing this because they have “low self-esteem”?  Or a “fear of success”?  Or because Mommy made them stay down in the basement and dress like a girl?

There is, in fact, only one reason “why” you might dwell on your mistakes with women: you are trying to find a solution to the situation so you can do better and enjoy the results you want.

But here is the thing: if you could have figured it out that way, you would have done so by now.  That process just doesn’t work, no matter what kind of content you put through it.  No matter what you put in the refrigerator it is never going to be a toaster. That’s not its purpose, function or design.

Even Worse…

Here is the greater challenge: dwelling on mistakes, over and over, is actually a very effective way to virtually guarantee the mistake gets repeated.

The basic rule is this: there is no basic difference between what you dwell on, over and over again, and what you rehearse. And what you rehearse over and over again, is basically what you are programming your brain to do.

Which means this: the very act of dwelling and ruminating on mistakes almost certainly guarantees you will achieve the opposite of what you intend.  Rather than find a solution to the challenge, you will program back in the error.

There is far, far more to say about this.  But for now I’d like to invite your feedback on this.   Tell me what you think and if you think it is an accurate picture of one of the challenges you have faced or currently do face.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. With an effective, sure way to learn from every situation, you will develop a “stealth charisma” that is subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone.  Click here to learn how, starting now…

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Want to have two chicks at the same time?

So many of my students either have, or want to, that I’m thinking of adding it to a “bucket list” of must-haves that every smart guy must experience at least once, if for no other reason than to know he “went there.”

Problem: many women won’t “go there.”

Why?  Oftentimes it’s societal “rules.” It breaks a taboo to engage in any sort of group sex, or anything other than one man and one woman doing it.  You’d think that the ticket booth at the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle only sells tickets in pairs.  Not true.

Sometimes, she’s skiddish.  Or afraid of unanticipated consequences.  Or maybe she really doesn’t want to touch another girl, and she isn’t sold on your “promises” that it will be her and her best friend working on you, but not each other.  Maybe she’s worried you’ll like her friend better (it could be a competition or ego thing).

The “Warming Question” That Breaks The Ice And Gets You Closer To The Triple Play

Now: the following is something I almost never just hand out.  So you’ll want to write this down, print it, bookmark this post, whatever the f@@k you have to do so you don’t lose it.  Ask this question:

“If you could go somewhere where no one knew who you were, and nothing you did would ever get back to anyone you did know, what kinds of experiences would you like to have, with what kind of person, with what kind of feelings?”

Then add:

I find when I LET THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS run through YOUR MIND, it’s the kind of thing that let’s me realize that sometimes YOU WANT TO SUCK SEED in stripping away from every day life, now and again, and FEEL YOUR OPENING to something novel..some new..A NEW DIRECTION you can IMAGINE TAKING INSIDE.

Now…when you ask that question you will get the following kinds of responses:

1. A vivid response with a vivid description.
2. A vivid response with a non-vivid description. They just go inside, access the thoughts and the states. Often they blush or look embarrassed
3. A non-vivid response with a vivid description(they describe it vividly but for some reason they don’t access the feelings-this is most rare)
4. A confused response. They don’t get what you mean
5. A defensive response.

I’m looking for 1 & 2. 3 can be worked with as well. 4 is possible if they also show a willingness to understand. Forget 5.

Ever tried this (or something like it?)  How did it work out for you?  (Leave a comment below).  Or, go out and do it and then report back here how it went.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. You think that’s something?  That’s just a small taste of the level of girl-getting power and knowledge you’ll find in my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course.  Click here to learn more!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ten weeks.

In the grand scheme of things, not a lot of time.  Most people I know have gone at least ten weeks between a job interview and getting the job.  Some of the worst TV shows ever have lasted at least ten weeks before they mercifully pulled the plug. Many musical acts go from club acts to Top 40 legends selling out 20,000+ venues… in 10 weeks.

Ever been told that something would happen “within sixty days”?  Well, ten weeks is just sixty days with an extra week and change thrown in.

If you observe Halloween (a holiday less scary than Desperate Supplicators’ Day on February 14), that’s less than ten weeks away from right now.

So, what could YOU accomplish in ten weeks?  How could life be different for you, in ten weeks?

When students ask me “how long does it take for this stuff to work?” I ask them back: when you apply my girl-getting teaching, think what it could be like in ten weeks, if you start right now.

Not only having the confidence, but actually having it be commonplace and routine, to walk right up to any woman, anytime, anywhere.

Knowing that if she throws you a curveball, you’ll not only catch it, but you’ll pitch it back (straight into her glove).  And you’ll score a home run with her.

Instead of being a guy who waits, you’ll be a man who powerfully claims his choice of the most beautiful, appealing, exciting, compatible women.

Hell, imagine within ten weeks, going from a dry spell to getting laid repeatedly.  One of my students tells me again and again how in less than ten weeks (more like 20 days) he went from hoping that some hot chick might like him someday, to hoping he remembered to pick up the other bedclothes from the laundry because he had a “squirter” in his bed.

It takes effort.  It takes sticktoitiveness.  So does learning to ride a bicycle.  But once you acquire and master the skills, you’ll be two-wheeling for life.

What will YOUR life be like in ten weeks from now? Hell, what will it be like on December 31 (just over 16 weeks away) when you size up how the year has gone for you?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to get there faster?  You need a roadmap, an interactive here’s-exactly-how-to that lays out your girl-getting plan for you.  Plus, will things go a lot smoother if, no matter what, you’ll never have a 25-pound cat hanging off your tongue when you’re trying to chat it up with the ladies?  Click here to get your roadmap, today.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

OK…so you’re doing some street Sarging and you come across a really hot chick (let’s say she’s an HB9 right now, and will look even hotter OUTSIDE that cute jogging suit).

You’re feeling an adventure coming on… you wonder… “Here on the street she’s a lady… but what’s she like between the sheets?

Is the type of woman who gets really turned on by taking a risk?  Being naughty? “How can I use the information she’s going to give me when I open the conversation to ignite her passion and get her to take a risk with me?” you wonder to yourself.

Let’s Bring The Bad Girl Out: How Ya Gonna Get Her To Ride The Bronco?

First, you need to be aware of the concept of conversational THEMES. These are overall topics of conversation that steer, direct and guide things.  I typically have 4-5 different places I can go, conversationally:

1. Questions/observations/challenges to/about her
2. Demos, games, quizzes, jokes, poems
3. Connections.
4. Indulgence (escape / adventure / cravings
5. Sex. But be careful about going to that too soon, too directly.

My preferred “m.o.” is to get her talking, gather information about her, get her to generate her own responses.

Give her the sense that I am curious about her, somewhat interested, and am asking questions out of curiosity and also because I am screening her. I find that giving the sense that you are screening and that THEY are being screened increases their response potential for the rest of what you do.

Also, throughout this, evaluate her and get her overall vibe. Is the an adventurous woman with a history of f@@king guys right off the bat? Is she more of a “romantic” type (but perhaps with a hidden, naughty side that really WANTS to experience a quick f@@k or some nasty, “bad” sexual acts)?

Bottom line though: get her talking. Use her responses, fed back through any of the above as a way of amping up the situation, testing at each step for physical readiness.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Seem like a lot?  There’s a lot of places you could go with this that could have all sorts of endings (and beginnings).  What if you knew that no matter what the situation, you had potentially hundreds of conversations, on tap and ready to flow, for every kind of girl (freaky or otherwise)?  How about if you had a methodical step-by-step plan? 

Click here to see two awesome ways you can get this.

… and here they are!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Right now, click this special link to get your exclusive copies of the Speed Seduction® Language And Conversation Course and Speed Seduction® Technical Manual:

http://www.seduction.com/aug10newcourse/

You’ll also find links to buy both courses, bundled together at a discount. Most of you who commented on my blog on August 7 said you wanted “both” and/or asked for a bundle discount, so I have delivered what you asked for. It’s right there…waiting for you.

Here’s that link again: http://www.seduction.com/aug10newcourse/

P.S. – Questions? Need assistance with placing your order? E-mail us at orders@seduction.com or call (323) 252-1531.

“See you” on the other side!

Peace and piece,
RJ

Dear Speed Seduction(R) Students,

I’ve been doing a great deal of contemplation and thinking since completing my 3 week European Tour.    As my own skills as a seducer and master teacher grow, I get deeper and deeper insights into what it really takes to bring guys to fantastic success and satisfaction with women.

As I see it, there are three big pieces to truly solving this puzzle.   I’ll introduce them briefly here and then, if you guys give me sufficient feedback, I’ll unpack each in detail in later blog posts.

Realize that what you are about to learn is a summary of my daily work and experimentation and play for the past 23 years, since I first started farting around with this stuff in 1987. I can see elements and answers now that I just couldn’t imagine seeing back then. And now I want to make it clear to you.

Element 1: A Powerful,  Effective Model For How Women Think, Feel And Act

This model has to explain and predict how will experience and create their own internal world in a way that gives us deep and broad understanding. It has to bring together a wide range of female actions in a broad variety of contexts and explain them in a way where we can understand, predict and shape the actions that we want.  It has to offer better explanations that more closely fit the observable facts than other possible explanations. It has to explain how women shift moods, make decisions, change and re-change their minds, seemingly contradict themselves from one moment to the next and offer incise and precise solutions and methods to handle all of this. It has to tell us what to ignore and what to pay attention to.

Element 2: Showing Up Attractive   This has to show us how to align our state, beliefs, filters and perceptions so that we are giving off an attractive vibe as soon as we enter the room, before we even open our mouths.  This involves resolving internal conflicts, aligning energy, rehearsing states, incorporating useful beliefs, regular practice to cultivate the proper aspects of consciousness.  It also involves getting out of our own way which in turn means:  stopping the process of dwelling on and re-programming in mistakes, creating a good working relationship to anxiety and uncertainty, aiming at the right kind of confidence(among the 4 different kinds).

Element 3: The tools and patterns.  These include using the right themes, formats, conversational structures, anchoring, voice mastery, touch, knowing how to notice and incorporate the woman’s useful responses, testing and screening, using and fractionating among the different vibes, creating/pre-seeding a woman to be responsive to patterning, frame setting, using ambiguity and vagueness, embedded commands, sexual metaphor, embedded suggestions.

In these three categories, Speed Seduction(R) is vastly more powerful than any other system; to the point where nothing else even comes close.

Which of these categories would you like me to “unpack” first?  I’m personally most interested in Element 2.   It involves what I call “A-social” skills.

Takers? Thoughts?

RJ

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

A week or so ago, I posted this on my blog – a Sarge report from one of my longtime students who had met an HB8, had a few meetings in quick succession that led to an all-night makeout session… only to get a text from her the next morning in which she says they shouldn’t see each other anymore because she has a “borefriend.”

Said student read YOUR comments and thoughts and had a reaction along the lines of “DOH! What the f@@k was I thinking?!?!” and decided he’d give it another shot with her. Here’s what happened:

OK Ross, my gut told me to wait till the weekend to try contacting her, so that’s what I did. Meanwhile, on Thursday coincidentally and out of the blue she sent me a text that said “I’m so sorry, I actually don’t have a boyfriend. I wanted to see how you’d react if I did. I shouldn’t have done that.”

On Friday night I texted back “So which is it?” She followed up with basically a repeat of the above. So I called her Sunday (I deliberately dragged this out to build suspense) and she apologized profusely. I let her go on for a minute and then I said “Really, Debbie (not her real name of course), that totally threw me for a loop….I forgive you though.” We chatted for a bit. The plan is to get together this weekend coming up which is the next time our schedules match up. I’m heading over her place.

I’m not going to jump in head first. My other options still open (no “oneitis” here Ross). I’ll give her a mulligan on this one, but I’ll take this one step at a time. Give my thanks to everyone for their comments, especially the “constructive’ ones” I needed that!

You put into place the principle that a woman’s current reaction is rarely, if ever, her ‘final answer’. You remembered it a little late this time, but at least you remembered.  Next time you’ll remember sooner.

With all this suspense building, so long as you weren’t pining over her and agonizing on “what’s the right time to call” and “how long should I wait” and other dum-dum dating-game nonsense (sounds like that’s not an issue for you though).

Now let me aim the long, sharp needle at the balloon that is your ego.  SHE MIGHT NOT BE SINGLE.  Could be she has a boyfriend after all, but liked things with you so much she said what she needed to say to not lose you.  She might be getting ready to serve this guy his walking papers but wanting to interview other candidates first.  Or, maybe she just wants to f@@k around.

Before you come back all “woe is me” and “how did I let myself get suckered in” and all that rot, ask yourself – are ALL of these possibilities acceptable to YOU?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Wouldn’t it be an awesome thing to know that anytime a challenging situation comes up with a woman, you have the tools and wisdom in place to objectively process, and handle, the situation so everything “works out”? Click here to get these tools, starting now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Let me address the naysayers.  As some of you pointed out, by e-mailing or commenting the various student questions I’ve shared in this week’s “mail bag” series, the answers would SEEM simple.

I won’t quote a specific e-mail here, in this (the last installment of the “mail bag” series for now) because I’ve gotten a handful over the course of the year that say substantially the same thing – someone actually tried to call bullshit on me.  Yeah.  Really.

Now, in some of the cases we’ve studied this past week, there are a couple different ways the situation could have gone (like with the chick who told my student after-the-fact that she has a boyfriend).  But for seasoned, experienced students, the answers seemed, to some of you, almost Captain Obvious.  Yeah, I get that, except…

…There Are Some Additional Ingredients (Literally) Causing A Volatile Brew In Men’s Brains Right Now

Look: here in the States, a lot of energy is spent debating whether marijuana should be legalized.  FORGET Mary Jane for a minute… and let’s discuss the impact of consuming Debbie’s pu@@y, which is a much more potent and mind-altering substance than the grass-like stuff they also use to make paper, rope, and shirts.

Here is just a PARTIAL list of the chemicals that various scientific research studies show get released in your brain every time your ride in the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle reaches its destination: adrenaline (aka epinephrine), dopamine, endorphins, testosterone, oxytocin, serotonin, prolactin, norepinephrine, vasopressin, phenylethylamine, and the list goes on.  (Plus, don’t forget the impact of your ego when the hottest chick you’ve ever nailed tells you “wow, I’ve never actually SQUIRTED before…” as you hope you remembered to pick up the other set of bedsheets from the laundromat.)

These releases do everything from make you want to take a nap right after you finish, to causing a flare-up of Oneitis, and everything in between.  Over time they lead to the eventual transition in relationships where the passion seems to die off even while fondness and long-term attachment grows.

These are also the reasons why you’ll often find that “Exit, Stage Left” is suddenly easier-said-than-done even though it’s “obvious” you need to move on, and “intellectually” you GET it but you can’t seem to DO it.  When your friends starting singing in-chorus that “you can do a lot better than that tramp”, look to your brain for the reasons why you aren’t heeding their advice.

By the way, same thing when you wrestle with Jimmy while thinking about a chick you haven’t had sex with yet.  The chemicals still flow through your brain at the “peak” of your thoughts even though she’s not actually there, and now it’s associated with her every time you think about her or see her.  This leads to Oneitis, which more often than not leads to celibacy.

It’s also the reason why you find yourself highly attracted to women you see in real life who remind you of your favorite porn star (and why you like porn featuring chicks who look like women you really enjoyed f@@king, or want to f@@k but haven’t yet).

Pu@@y needs to be recognized as a controlled substance, I tell you. But even if it was, if getting some was wrong, I wouldn’t want to be right.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Now you know: part of why you might not always use your UPPER head when it comes to women is…due to what’s going on in your brain.  As a logical person who seeks the best life has to offer, doesn’t it make sense to acquire a greater understanding of women’s operating systems and “what’s going on” so you know the playing field and can score more? Click here to take the first step, right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It’s an oft-told story…

Boy meets Girl in an “everyday” setting.

Girl smiles and giggles oh-so-cute and Boy sees the door open and beckoning.

Boy strikes up a little convo.  Girl’s answer to his innocent-yet-obviously-leading question (the one where he asks her out without actually f@@king ASKING) leaves him stumped even though it’s plain-as-daylight stuff.

Let’s hear from a student who felt like he just got “traded down to the minors” off such a seemingly innocent response:

The other day, I went to a local clothing store because I needed to pick up a couple things.  I was greeted by a cute, bubbly sales associate.  I said hi and bought a belt and a few other things (I was there for that in the first place).  I commented on her style, then I left.  But – as if opportunity was raining down from heaven, I had forgotten my cell phone, so I went back and said I lost it!

She asked for my number so we could call it and hear it ring.  Lo and behold, it fell off while I was trying on the belt and landed under a rack with fall jackets on it.  Heard it ring and picked it up.  Then I asked where she lived, and her name, and if she had plans for the evening.  She said she was going to relax at her place.

I didn’t know what to say, so I left (with her phone number, and her name). She seemed interested in me, and I was wondering what I could do to get in contact with her, and get her to meet me. Can you help me?

Let me start with the Captain Obvious answer: call her and and f@@king ask her out.

Don’t try to figure out if she really seemed interested… or just being all cute and flirty to loosen up your wallet by tightening up your Johnson (something that, uh, RARELY happens in the real world and is, uh, NEVER done on purpose).  Besides, your memory of actual events is probably distorted by now over hot you think she is… and how hot you wish, hope, and pray she was FOR YOU.

But think about what you’re asking her (or the next woman, when you go back for cuff links):

You asked where she lived (which DOESN’T MATTER until you go back to her place for some EEE-RRR-EEE-RRR), her name (was she wearing a nametag, as a sales associate in a retail store?), and what she was doing tonight (other than breathing and eventually sleeping?)

Were THESE the questions she was being called upon to answer while sidelined from making money so she can pay her rent?  What did her responses tell you about her “vibe” and what inspires her, so you could use it to anchor her emotions and get her excited and irresistibly aroused at-will?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Sick and tired of letting opportunities with sexy, beautiful women pass right by while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to close the deal with them?  The solutions to such quandries can be found right here.