Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It often comes up that a woman who has recently gotten out of a long-term relationship will be reluctant to sleep with you.  Even though she wants to, really bad.

A student of mine received an e-mail from a woman he had been Sarging and things were really heating up.  A little confusing with a “WTF” aspect to it, for sure.  But, check this out and then I’ll tear it up:

“I’ll be really honest with you here. I enjoy talking to you and I think you would be great in bed.  But there are a couple reasons why I’m not going to sleep with you. One – I am still very in love with my ex boyfriend. Two: I really enjoy talking about sex with someone that I’m not sleeping with. It’s just so much more honest. I’m sure that makes sense. See you Thursday, looking forward to it.”

It’s right in front of your face: this chick has ALREADY made up her mind to sleep with you. 

She needs an excuse in her mind so she can feel blameless; “well, I TRIED not to sleep with him and even told him “NO” but I just couldn’t help myself..it just HAPPENED”.

Note what she said, “I think you would be great in bed”.

STOP! How could she “think” that without FANTASIZING about it?

Just say to her,

Hey…I’m glad for your honesty. Whatever we each and BOTH feel, I don’t want to do anything unless it is BOTH something we are BOTH thinking and dreaming about and totally want to do. So let’s just relax, enjoy each other’s company and only in whatever ways are comfortable and we BOTH want to do.

This takes the pressure OFF. Then keep right on Sarging..when you start to undress her and she resists just say…“We BOTH can’t help ourselves!” then fairly aggressively peel her panties off and enjoy the “lift-off” of the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

And that sure beats a poke in the eye!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Remember: a woman’s first response to you should rarely be taken as her “final answer.”  More likely, she’s responding to what’s in her mind and her world AT THAT MOMENT.  In 24 hours from now, 1,440 minutes will have passed, each with a reason why it’s possible  she’ll think differently.

Sound like a lot to manage?  Not if you have this on your side and in your corner.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Seems that yesterday’s post on the failure vibe that stifles a man’s girl-getting game from the inside really hit a nerve.

To respond to several of you who wrote with substantially the same question – what to do when it seems like every woman you see is with a man or a group of men – I’m going to share an email from a longtime fan that captures the essence of it.

The situation he brings up is common – all too common – for guys who want to meet really hot women.

You see, hot women LOVE company. They often love MALE company, because having a guy around:

1. Keeps away the weaker, wimpier guys who assume that the escorting guy is the boyfriend.
2. It makes them feel wanted and needed.
3. Sometimes the guy IS the boyfriend but it doesn’t matter because, if you can approach it right, you often can STILL pull the girl.

Ok, here is the email/question:

“I had a question and I would like to hear your insight on following situation: You see a stunning girl and you would like to go and talk to her but she is surrounded with two or maybe more guys. Not in the bar or something like that..

My first thought is that one of them is her boyfriend and I should stay away. Especially if I see some touching going on. They could be as well close friends, but the question is, what would you say to a girl in this situation? I mean you really don’t know whether the boyfriend is next to her but in case he does what then?”

Ok, As I said above, NEVER make assumptions about whether or not a girl is “taken” or if the guy with her is her “boyfriend” (or “bore-friend” for that matter)..

For all you know, the dude is her “orbiter”. Someone who circles around her massive ego, to keep her feeling good about herself.

In any event, the key here is to approach and TALK TO THE GUY OR GUYS.

Do NOT approach the woman directly.

Simply go up to one of the guys.

Open your mouth and say, “You guys are a really cute couple. How did you meet?”

Trust me, if they are NOT a couple, she’ll quickly let you know.

From there, you are in.

Just remember: don’t ever make assumptions about whether a girl is taken or not.  When you ass-ume, you stand a greater chance of feeling like an ass because you didn’t step up, then you will of looking like an ass if you did.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine how great your life will be when you know, with 100% certainty that whenever you see a beautiful woman, anytime, any place, that you know exactly what to do to approach her, get her attracted to you, and seduce her!  Click here to make that happen, starting now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Watch this video (right out of my Coaching Program):

answersupermarketsuggestions

Is it possible to talk about something that sounds completely innocent, while subtly steering the conversation toward your bed (and her in it?) How do you use a seemingly innocent conversation to embed commands (fascination, connection, attraction, list) that get her hot and bothered?

I may do a mini video on this topic soon, in fact.  In the meantime, be sure to leave a comment…

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Here you are seeing just a fraction of the girl-getting power you will find in Speed Seduction® 3.0.  Want to get the tools, methods, and proven strategies that get your cucumber into her strawberry basket?  Click here now…

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

One of the patterns I teach is the “Boyfriend Destroyer” which you’d use when you approach a woman and she tells you she has a boyfriend.

This pattern has some naysayers.  Here are a couple of them:

“Doesn’t that make you a small man, having to go after someone else’s woman?”

“Why would you want to spend time on a woman who’s going to lie to you within 3 minutes of meeting you?  Why would you want to be with a woman who cheats?”

“Why would you waste your time on a woman who is taken or says she is?  What about these tens of thousands of women you say I can get?”

Well, today I call bullshit on the naysaying with a few facts about “boyfriend destroying.”

It’s just a sad fact that many women who SAY they have a boyfriend either are lying outright, responding out of auto-pilot, or they are stuck in real-hate-shun-ships by default.

The reality is, most very attractive women ARE probably going to be with someone.  Most women regardless of their place on the HB scale are “seeing someone” – but does that mean it’s “exclusive?”

If you wait until you find girls who are totally officially “single” you may be waiting a long time.

Think about this:

You can use fire to heat your camp at night. Or you can use it to burn down a building.

You can use a knife to stab an innocent person in the heart. Or you can use it to cut someone’s bonds and set them free.

I believe that not caving in to a woman’s first “knee-jerk” response is a good thing.

I’m creating a space for her to have a new choice, to respond with more freedom and act differently.  By doing this, I serve HER.

Listen: if she really, REALLY loves the guy, she will let you know and you aren’t going to get anywhere anyway.  So you “Exit, Stage Left” but she’ll probably think you’re a nice guy.  Maybe nice enough she’ll introduce you to her actually-single friends.  But what you WILL get EVERY time is the practice that sharpens the skills that will get you your next ten successes with women.

Is THAT such a bad thing?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you want to learn how to meet women easily, anytime, anywhere, and totally have them eating out of the palm of your hand (and the  fly of your pants) despite her “I have a boyfriend” opening statement, just click here.

You’ll be doing you, and her, a service.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Going through my lovely mail bag, I have here a question from a student who just purchased Speed Seduction® 3.0, barely had signed for the package delivery before he ripped it right out of the box and slid it into his DVD player, and starting getting more women so fast it’d make your head spin.

Here’s his question:

Now that I’m connecting with a few new women, how do I move from one to the next? As they say “breaking up is hard to do.”

What do you have for me that talks about letting them down easy? I mean, I could just be an a$$hole and stop calling them, but that doesn’t seem like the adult thing to do.  Is there a pattern, or something I can use as a way to “move on?”

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most, let me ask you a question.

If you woke up one morning to learn some unknown rich relative had left you a billion dollars and it was sitting in your bank account right now, how easy would it be to change your lifestyle?

I bet you’d be driving to your realtor’s office THAT MORNING in your brand-new Porsche, calling your boss from your cell phone on the way there to tell them you quit, to sign the papers for your new mansion, just in time to pick up your favorite chick to meet your chartered private airplane for 2:00 lift-off for a dirty seven-day weekend in Vegas.

You wouldn’t spend much time explaining it in great detail to every single person you know.  Because that would just be holding you back…correct?

Another question: has a woman ever stopped returning your calls?  Told you simply “I can’t see you anymore” without offering any explanation at all?  Whether or not turnabout is fair play, is it the way of the world?

I don’t know how many exclusive relationships you’ve been in, but assuming you have, when you “went exclusive” with a woman, how much time did you spend individually explaining the change to the other women in your life?  Or were you now totally busy with your new girlfriend?

In your concern, I gather a need to explain yourself.  That shows you are a decent person who cares for the feelings of others.  Now, I challenge you: would you not also be showing concern and care  by being polite but clear and direct in letting these other women know you’ve moved on, without dragging it out?  This way, they know THEIR more likely options lay elsewhere and THEY can “get there” faster?

Spend your Sarging and patterning energies getting more of what you DO want.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Ready to stop letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while your energy is overspent in other areas?  Let me show you how to redirect your girl-getting game so you get more of what you want while simultaneously addressing what you are moving away from.  Click here to get it now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

On a very exclusive basis, I am offering limited slots for my executive coaching.

This is not for the newbie or the guy who can’t talk to women or who is totally stuck or who can’t afford it.

Just for fun, I am experimenting with adding in some technology to the consults.

Here is a file of some of the notes I did on the consult this weekend.

Enjoy:



Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. These sessions are expensive. This is for the guy already enjoying the best in life who finally wants to step up and grab the same success with women he’s had in other areas of life.   But you want the best solution, you’ve got it with me!  And again, this is not for the deeply impacted and very stuck. You’ve got to have some game: at least one or two serious girlfriends and some ability to talk to women.

P.P.S. If you’re not quite ready for private coaching, or if you’d prefer to get over 10 hours of my best teaching shipped to your doorstep instead, click here.

P.P.P.S. The gist of this lesson was about mastering your mindset and response in your approach to women.  Learn more about this here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

One of the components of what I call the waiting game (what others call the “dating” game) is this: “dating” is designed by the romance industry to get men to shower women with free stuff – free dinners, free candy, free movie tickets, free dirty weekend in Vegas, etc…

Just the other day, someone asked me this question: “Is there a pattern to turn the tables – to get women to buy ME free stuff – to take me to dinner, buy me clothes, take me to the movies, etc.”

I think there’s a word for that: gigolo.  And how nice would THAT be?

But: you see, there’s a huge PRIMARY error in that way of thinking.

What is that error?

You are thinking in terms of behavior – what you want her to do – BEFORE you think of what emotional states she ought to be in such that it would be natural for her to WANT to give you that behavior.

Rather than try to create a pattern specifically geared to getting her to, say, buy you a Rolls Royce, how about generating such amazing feelings inside of her – feelings that she craves – feelings that she ratifies and affirms that she LOVES – that she then feels motivated to please you in EVERY possible way?

Then, and ONLY then, would I even think about patterns that allow you to embed suggestions to buy you stuff.

Do you see the error?

Remember: as a master of your girl-getting game, you are responsible for creating the state in which she is willing, indeed eager, to go where you want her to go.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Again, there is NOTHING wrong at all (per se) with wanting to have a woman buy you lots of stuff. It is how you are structuring your thinking FIRST in terms of her behavior before you think about structuring her emotions and state of mind.  To get a ton more on this topic “in a box”, click here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

I’m taking a quick gander through my Lovely Mail Bag here and there are two e-mails from students here.  When I put them together, I think they sort of solve each other.   Let’s give this a try.

The first is from someone who seems to be having a little problem with his walk-ups:

“When I go up to her, no matter what I do to make the situation fun, it still feels like I am a stranger who has moved into her space to hit on her.   She knows what I am there for, no matter how ‘innocent’ or ‘just friendly’ I might be trying to be.  So she’s on her guard and sometimes it freaks ME out and I stumble.”

Not a minute later I read a Sarge report that had this interesting snippet in it:

“I opened the gal with an observation that her 2nd toe was bigger than her big toe. Since she is an HB 9.5, she was floored. She told me later that she just couldn’t get over that. She’s used to guys telling her how beautiful she is. I’ve NEVER told her that. And she’s one of the gals that I hang out ‘with benefits’ to this day.”

This makes me wonder…

How Did Morton’s Toe Beat Out Playful And Innocent? 

It’s like this:  Making an observation about her toe was an interesting opener because it combines more than one “energy” or attitude. It combines a matter of fact observation, that is true, along with something of a put-on, on your part. Her toes being uneven isn’t REALLY what is most noticeable about her, I’m sure, so you were kind of putting your tongue in your cheek, though I’m sure it wasn’t visibly done so!

The best “openers” tend to combine these positions or energies.

Here’s one I like to use:

“I don’t get it.”

I’ll say this to a woman who has an unusual design or logo on her shirt. It’s a put-on in that I am pretending to be puzzled. It’s also a comment/question about something going on with her. And also, by not saying “excuse me” or anything like that, it is a put-on in that I am addressing her like I already know her: “I don’t get it” is something her boyfriend or roomate or friend would say if she came into the room wearing something like that, as opposed to what a stranger would say, which would be more like,

“What’s your shirt mean?”

See the difference?  She will (subconsciously).  And things will go a LOT different.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The real genius of mastering your girl-getting game isn’t just the suggestive language – it’s also the clever way in which it’s structured to seem like a perfectly ordinary conversation!  Click here to learn more…

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Another aspect of showing up attractive is learning to develop a good relationship to uncertainty, anxiety, and not knowing what the fuck is going to happen.

Many guys come to me wanting “confidence” with women. But what they are really saying is they want what I call “performance confidence”.

What is “performance confidence”?  That’s easy to explain.

If you’ve done something very well 5,000 times, it is reasonable to expect you will do well on the 5,001st attempt.

The challenge for many guys in this game is that they want the performance confidence, PRIOR to doing any performing.

So they wind up never performing, never being confident and never getting any real world skill.

Or any moist pink relief either.

Love Your Anxiety As You Love Yourself, And Soon You Will Be Loving Your Neighbor’s Wife Too!

The solution I’ve found that works best is to reshape a student’s definition of “confidence” into what I will define here as “acceptance confidence”.

Acceptance  confidence has the following components:

1. The skill of being present with the raw, physical sensations of anxiety, without fighting them, resisting them or trying to make them change or go away, but also and equally without feeding them by telling yourself that your anxious feelings mean you are going to fail or it is time to run away.  Don’t feed, don’t fight AND don’t flee!

(Let me just add that very few humans can be present with raw physical sensations like this. It takes training and practice. But it opens up some wonderful choices in life that few people will ever experience and that alone makes you very, very attractive on some interesting and non-verbal levels. More about this later)

2. The skill of deciding what you are going to do, once you experience the anxiety, without fighting or feeding or fleeing.  It basically comes down to a simple acknowledgment of what is going on and then a choice . As in, “I don’t know what is going to happen with this girl, I don’t like that I don’t know, and let’s go talk to her, have some fun, and find out what she is like!”

3. A deep realization about the meaning  and information content of “anxiety”.   Your experience of internal anxiety has zero information value about what will happen with that girl you’d like to meet. It is not a sign you are about to fail or be humiliated in the world. It has no information value about anything happening outside of your own skin. It is only a sign of an internal neurological event.

4. Finally, taking on some powerful beliefs and attitudes about learning.   Since I’m such an awesome teacher, here are the main ones:

A. I will either enjoy getting what I want, or enjoying learning what I need to get what I want or better.

B. I can, will and do decide what I learn from each and every event, choice, action and situation.

C. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

D. When I don’t know what to do, I make the choice and take the action that moves me even closer to the kind of person I am already more and more becoming

Once a student has mastered, in action, the essentials of acceptance confidence, then and only then is he ready to take on rehearsal confidence, another key component of showing up attractive. And I’ll probably talk about that in the next post.

Your comments and feedback are essential to this series continuing. So please post them below!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If enjoying damn near ridiculous levels of success, satisfaction and pleasure with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then clicking here could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

I’ve had several students ask me why the following happens:

You’ve connected with a woman and brought her to “that place” where she is ready to “go for it.” It started with her giving you a curious “uhhhh, can I help you?” glance when you first approached her, and in less time than you thought, she’s now naked and on your bed and…yes…it’s on.

Just NOW, for some reason, Private Wood stops standing at attention.  He slouches on the job and can’t get back up.  Even when she goes into “drill instructor mode” (don’t you love when she gets all dominatrix-like?), your Johnson insists on tripping you up.

HOWEVER…you don’t THINK it’s erectile dysfunction: after all, normally things are “functioning” correctly.  You don’t have a problem “enjoying” fantasies or your favorite porno.  You can close the deal with Rosie and her sisters on a moment’s notice, every time.  So overall, you believe the machinery works.

“It” seems to happen ONLY when you’re actually boarding the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle with a live woman.

Let me get it out of the way: see your doctor anyway.  Every day of “I really SHOULD see a doctor” is 1,440 minutes of self-imposed flaccidity that might not have to be.  It’s YOUR life, only you can live it.

Now that we have that out of the way (made that appointment yet?), let me ask you three questions.

1. Think back to your feelings when Private Wood went AWOL.  What came up for you? Nervousness?  Fear?  Worry you might not “stand up” in the ranks of her previous lovers?  Something in your head saying “I shouldn’t be doing this?”
2. When it happened, how did you react? Did you give up?  Seek her support in getting things back on track?  Switch to pleasing her for a while until things started “looking up” for you?
3. How did SHE react? Did she throw you out (or get up and leave)?  Or did she say, with a sly grin and a cute gleam in her eye, “Hmmm, seems the ol’ hard drive is booting up a little slow.  Where’s the CD-ROM for this, so we can stick it in and get it spinning?”

It’s called “performance anxiety” because you’re anxious, not because you’re a bad person or something’s necessarily wrong with you.  (Though you still need to check with your doc – got that appointment booked?  The receptionist and/or the nurse, not to mention the doctor herself, might be sizzling hot and looking for a man like you.)

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Need the mechanism that brings up whatever it is that’s keeping you down?  For the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system that untangles the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys at an very underachieving level, click here to start finding your way to full-strength.