Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

This is the first of two mini-lessons on hooking her interest that I’ll be sharing.  The second will arrive in a couple days.  (I know, I know, I’m a tease.)

What are some of the key, initial factors that come into play when approaching women that can enable you to hook or get attention initially?

It begins with a very important concept.  The first five minutes are designed to get her invested in the transaction. Yes, you can create connections, get her sexually turned on, etc. Remember, in the first five minutes, if you get her invested and really interested in talking to you more, you’ve gotten the job done for that portion.

Here’s what can hook attention: She might hook into the vibe you present as your approach.

Let me break that down for you.

First of all, she may hook in psychically. She may be really sensitive to NLP.

She could hook into the theme that you introduce. She may just like the theme that you introduce.

She may hook into the format you use. For example, she may really like jokes, games, quizzes and curiosity.

She may hook in to the vibe, theme, format or analog.

She may really love your voice. Many women initially tell me they just love how masculine my voice was.

She may hook in to the fact that you don’t care that she’s not hooking in. If she’s not hooking and you don’t care and are fine with it, that may really get her attention.

As part of that, she may hook into how comfortable you are with her first response. Let’s say she’s a little bit nasty or skeptical and you just laugh and are not in any way troubled by it. That may really hook her attention.

Any kind of pattern interruption or response on your part that’s positive and unexpected can really hook her in.

She may finally only hook in to your touch. You may have to touch her in order to start getting her hooked in.

She may hook in to your fun learning frame. You’re there to learn and have fun.

She may hook into the fact that you’re screening her or the implied compliment.  She may hook in to the implied, playful screening and the fact that you’re screening her in a playful way.

The trick is to have fun, steady your ground, and get stable in your feet with a nice flow of energy in your body no matter what happens and plays out. Those initial 5 (to 10) minutes are about sparring in a friendly way and seeing where she’s open.

In Part 2 of this lesson, we’ll explore how to hook her interest with your closing.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S.  One of the things that I talked about in my recent London seminar is the path of sexualized curiosity as a way of being very powerful to hook women’s interest and seduce intelligent women.  To watch this (and 50+ more hours more of my latest and greatest) in the privacy of your own home, click here now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Hot off the presses!  Here is a great testimonial video I just received from a longtime student.

Click “Play” now and watch as he explains, in his own words, how he used Speed Seduction® to create an effective “bullshit shield”.  Also note his use of “implied compliments” and other techniques:

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Look: 2011-2012 can be the period in your life that you look back upon for the rest of your life as the time when you finally stepped up and claimed your intensive transformation by mastering your girl-getting game.

Be like Roberto, who has studied my teachings for years and who most recently invested in the Speed Seduction® Total Immersion 2011 Seminar Footage Collection – click here now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

I’m often asked about the best manner or vibe for a man to put out when he approaches a woman for the first time.

Though the specific questions vary, a few common themes emerge.  Are cocky and funny good attitudes to exude toward women when you’re Sarging? Or, will a friendly and warm approach work better?  Can you mix the two?

Well, first, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: postulating that ONE approach ALWAYS works is just silly.

Being cocky and funny the whole time is like trying to drive your car around in one gear. You have to be able to shift gears as the conditions warrant, or you’ll strip your gears.  When that happens, you won’t be able to move forward.

So with that being said, why just have one approach?

A good approach toward women can start from any one of four basic positions, and move rapidly in between, back and forth, amongst the others.

You can start from ANY of these:

1. The put on: saying something funny, designed to make her laugh
2. Comment, question, observation
3. The blurt-out, where you just say whatever is crossing your mind or whatever you are experiencing seeing her in that moment
4. Genuine intuition

The best approaches combine 2 of these or start with one and move rapidly to the other.

As for being “cocky and funny”; many guys are quite capable of it, but you need to know when to drop it and rapidly display other aspects of yourself, unless you want to come off as a joke machine or an insult comic.

It’s one thing to approach life with a smile. It’s another to approach people with a sneer. Sneering shows some serious insecurities, doesn’t it?

The larger point is this: calibrate to the person(s) in front of you and notice what response(s) you get.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Having the skills and confidence to approach and stimulate any woman’s subconscious sexual triggers using your words is one of the best skills in the world to have because it will give you complete seduction mastery even over the choosiest women.  So you won’t have to just rely on making her laugh.  For more great teaching on this (and many other) topics, click here now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

On a recent “Ask Me Anything” calls for members of the Speed Seduction® Coaching Program, one of our students shared a story about how just a few simple words moved a woman from “I’m Aroused” to “It’s On”.

It went something like this.  The student had been spending time with her and had used Speed Seduction® to get her to the point where she went around naked in the room when they were hanging out, but nothing else had happened – no kiss, no nookie, no ride on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

He called a friend on the phone, and the friend gave him this advice: “Tell her to take her clothes off, get on top of you, and shut her f@@king mouth.” So my student said to the woman, “My friend tells you to take your clothes off, get on top of me, and f@@k me right now.”

Seems all of the work he had done building connections got her turned on, but when he just gave her a command… within 30 seconds, they were f@@king.

Now, let me make something clear: If you’re doing all the patterns, you’re in the driver’s seat and she’s sitting there passively listening, you can’t expect her to suddenly take the wheel.  The deeper in they go, the more you have to be the one who strongly takes the action.  On the flip side, women who are knowingly teasing you really need to be told to fuck off. They need that strong hand.

Here‟s the way I’ll paint it for you. What this student was doing up until then DID get her turned on.  She was responding and walking around naked, right?

First of all, get this understanding. Any girl who is walking around naked in front of you but won’t make out with you is teasing. She wants you to tell her to fuck off and do as she’s told. Do you understand that?

Now get this.  I’m going to get criticized by people who deliberately misquote me. So let me be clear.

I am NOT saying that all women want you to rip their clothes off and tell them, “Get on top of me, shut your mouth and f@@k.” I AM saying that if a woman is walking around naked in front of you and has taken her clothes off, she knows she’s teasing you and turning you on.

If she’s teasing you by taking her clothes off and parading around naked but won’t make out with you, you have the bull by the horns. You can either tell her to get the f@@k out or climb on top of you. That is clearly a case of teasing. She needs to know that you’re strong enough to say, “Get lost!”

Listen to this also: I’m sure this kind of woman is turned on. She’s turned on by the fact that you’re turned on by her teasing, but she’s also turned on by the patterns.

Just because she’s turned on doesn’t mean “it’s on” now. She can be extremely aroused, but what pushes her from very aroused to “It’s On” is a display of strength and not caring on your part. That’s for this specific kind of woman.

Now, let me unpack that and make it very clear.

For some women, doing language patterns and then touching and kissing them is enough to get them from, “I’m aroused,” to “It’s on.” You need to understand that just because a woman is aroused doesn’t mean it’s on and she’s ready.

For some women, doing patterns and being mildly aggressive is enough. It’ll move them from aroused to, “It’s on.”

For other women, they won’t be moved to, “It’s on,” even if they are aroused, unless you show that display of, “Fuck you! I don’t care. Please me.” That’s a subset of women.

I’m willing to bet, in this case, this woman is either very young, has very low “self-esteem” or both, if she’s in that category. She’s excited by displays of dominance and power. I want to make it very clear. The patterns were turning her on, but it wasn’t enough because of her psychology.

Make sense?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. What you have just witnessed here are how various levels, volumes, and varieties of sexual aggression can move different types of women from being aroused to “It’s On.”  You need to calibrate which applies to any situation you find yourself in.  At our upcoming 3-Day LIVE Speed Seduction® Seminar in Montreal, I will part the curtains on my latest and greatest teachings on Sexual Aggression Mastery, along with Showing Up Attractive and MUCH more.

Click here to claim your seat, now

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

I hear a lot about how certain “types” of women must (supposedly) be approached in a certain way.  Like, due to who she is and what “lifestyle” or whatever she leads, there’s a certain specific way a man can reach her if he really wants to succeed with her.

For example, punk/goth chicks.  You know the kind – nerdy, art school grad, tattooed-and-pierced, roller-derby, graphic designer types, with glasses.

A student of mine was wondering what “puzzle piece” he was missing when it came to Sarging them, like there was “something about” them that he just couldn’t figure out:

> It has to do with some kind of fascination they have with horror movies/splatter films (brain eating zombies, etc). They seem to all love them a lot. I would like to take whatever deeply moves them about that (it does seem to me to be very visceral thing they react to very powerfully. Is it love of danger? Is it totally about the body feelings of terror/fright? Is it the visual component of seeing that graphic image occur on screen, what?
>
…In other words, what patterns/approaches can be used with chicks like this to re-direct those feelings and energies into a sexual way? And to connect them to me?

RJ again.  Here is a principle…

When in doubt, ASK.

ASK in a way that captures and leads her imagination and emotions AND gathers useful information.

Like, “What is your favorite all time splatter film? Who are your favorite characters and what do you like about them the most?”

Let her talk. Get curious about her answers. Ask questions that develop and accelerate the answers by feeding back bits of previous answers.

This is known as “recursion”. Using what you gain in a previous step to make the next step more effective.

So:

Question 1:

Response 1:

Question 2: (uses response 1-(her personal trance words, her non-verbal responses, personal anchors etc)

Response 2: (which is now even stronger as you’ve feed back what you learned from Response 1)

And so on and so forth.  Get it?

Ok, so using this, come up with your own possible series of questions.

Report back on it here… or share with me now, experiences you’ve already had.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. When you know what to look for and how to use a woman’s emotional responses, she will actually provide almost all of the energy for the seduction.  You’ll learn all about this and much, much, much, much, MUCH more at a live 3-day seminar.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In my previous post, we explored how you can get more of the kind of women you really want when you master the skills and apply the techniques that boost your girl-getting game.

A lot of it comes from creating her motivation and desire to respond.  We have so far explored five ways to get that initial locking in of attention and desire to respond – analogs, vibe, format, touch, and when “you don’t care that they don’t care.”

And now, here are seven more approaches or techniques that may work for you.

6) Pattern interrupts: doing or saying the unexpected that is slightly puzzling or ambiguous. As in, “Your pirispinals are laterally asymmetrical” Did you just insult her or compliment her?  She can’t tell so it creates curiosity.  Or an unexpected and reframing response to one of her auto-pilot utterances, such as the “Boyfriend Destroyer.”

7) Demonstrating authority in her world: showing that you deeply understand something or can read her. This creates fascination, a great conductive medium across which you can throw anything and get strong responses!

Humor: make ‘er laugh and loosen her up.

9) Demonstrating dominance: Lots of ways to do this. Personally, I prefer to go in with funny dominance. For instance, a while ago I was out with some students. We got in line at a coffee place. A very cute blond was in front of me in line. I turned to my students and said in a very loud, but playful way, “OK, who’s buying me my ice tea?”

The blond laughed. (Just what I was aiming at). So I turned to her and said, “Ok, YOU are buying me my ice tea!”

It’s not always playful dominance but that is how I prefer to START.

10) Non-sequitur: sudden change of subject serves as a pattern interrupt that can get attention.

11) Fractionating among the different vibes: dominant, demonstrating deep understanding, being funny and playful, revealing what you are really thinking and feeling in the moment(authentic)

12) Looks: Yes, believe it or not, some women will just like your looks! Even if you don’t.  Hooray!

The women are waiting.  What, I ask, in the name of Isabella’s ice cream cones, are you waiting FOR?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you’re sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to meet them, Speed Seduction® 3.0 is your golden ticket to total success!  Try it risk-free for 90 days – click here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

When you “assume” it makes an ass-of-u-and-me.  What happens when you “insist”?

Watch this short video where I share two great attitudes that will help you meet, seduce, and succeed with the women you truly desire:

nopostivethinkingbullshitsmaller-desktop.m4v

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. This clip is from our April 2011 3-day seminar in London.  Our next seminar dates are in June, and are in Copenhagen and London.  Don’t miss out, click here for details and to sign up now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In all areas of life, a key ingredient to success, whatever your definition of that word, is persistence.

Now let’s say you’re persistent, but something keeps going persistently wrong?  Or, looking at it another way, if something is persistently tripping you up or blocking you from claiming your results?

Let’s hear from a student who seems to be able to Sarge only in bars (ironic, I know, given that’s one of the hardest places to Sarge and one of the least recommended places as far as I am concerned):

> Im not afraid to approach women, I’m having trouble getting from right after
> hello and going into pattern at will, Also trouble with state control. I bring
> me old self with me it persistently stays. It sucks, I have had success but only
> in bars mostly that where I’m more anchored in good feeling and in a bar it
> the right place to sarge but outside going along with everyday tasks its
> difficult. Breaking state Im having trouble understanding.If I can get to
> patterns I got em but getting Im having trouble.

So what’s the “big idea” here?The big idea is this: you probably don’t need to add anything in. You probably just have to subtract out whatever internal processes are getting in the way.

You’ve got good feelings and no problem in a bar which is where MOST guys have trouble! So what is NOT going on in your head, in a bar, that DOES go on in your head, elsewhere? Or, what goes on in your head, outside of bar, that is ABSENT when you are in a bar?

What you need to do is subtract out what is getting in your way, when you are NOT in a bar.

Once you identify that, you’re one step closer to no-holds-bar-red success with the women you truly desire.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Are you sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to meet them?  No longer will this be an impediment once you master what I teach in Speed Seduction® 3.0.  Click here to get yours now!

Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,

The other day, someone left this comment on my blog as well as emailing it to me.  I am going to reproduce it here for you to read and quite frankly do nothing other than ask you: what would YOU tell him?

I’d really like to encourage your participation here, so the person who leaves the best comment gets a 1/2 free Skype consult with me-winner to be announced on the blog.  Here is his post; please read and answer him as best YOU can:

Hey Ross,

I have to say this is all really great stuff! I have been following your lessons (at least these updates and the older stuff I was able to get for free through link provided with the “Up To Speed with Speed Seduction” video series) for quite some time now- since the end of last Fall. However I can’t really seem to integrate any of this into my approaches to women very easily, and I can’t afford to buy any of your “premium” stuff (I’m a broke college student)…

I feel like I should be much better with women than I am- I’m smart, good-looking (women tell me this all the time, even though they say they’re not attracted to me), and fairly successful (I go to an Ivy League school and do pretty well academically). But I feel like a total failure with women- I’m 21 and I’ve never even had my first kiss! Girls my age have always told me they “don’t like my like that” (romantically/sexually), and it’s really caused some problems with my life. A while back, one girl even actually thought I was suicidal because I seemed so upset/depressed about this stuff, and caused some considerable trouble for me by reporting that concern to the authorities! (suicide on campus has been a really big issue here lately, after a recent string of successful student suicides)

I really need some kind of turn-around with my romantic/sexual life!

I know I’m capable of being really good with women because two or three times in my life something has just “clicked” in my head and for a brief moment I was really good at flirting with women- one time this got me a date with a really hot, smart, popular girl when I was in high school that I ended up having to miss because I ended up stuck on a car en route to Vermont with a dead cell phone (she ended up thinking I had stood her up, and spread word through the rest of the high school- killing any remaining chance I had of getting a date while in high school) Another time, here in college, I got a girl not-so-subtly inviting herself back to my place (for a hook-up), but I actually didn’t recognize what she was doing until it was too late and I said something really stupid that was a huge turn-off (she was really cold to me from then on and never brought up what had happened). So I know it’s possible for me to get the kind of results I want with women, or something even better! But I just can’t seem to do it and it’s destroying my life bit by bit…

I know I do a lot of stuff wrong with women, but I just don’t know how to go about fixing any of it… I know I also do some stuff very right with women, but it’s much harder for me to pick out what those things are… I’ve gotten really desperate to try and find something that works for me, and I’ve tried everything. I even created a profile on several dating websites (my profile on OK Cupid is Northstar1989 if anyone wants to take a look at how I present myself to the world and see what I do wrong…), but NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING seems to work for me….

Please help me Ross. If there’s anything you can do, any advice you could give me, I’d really appreciate it.

Regards,
Blake

P.S. I’ll also ‘CC this to the e-mail address I have for you from the Up to Speed videos, rj@seduction.com ,in case you don’t notice this comment.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

It happens to beginners… AND from time to time, even to skilled Speed Seduction® masters.  (VERY rarely, but it can happen to ANYONE, so don’t beat yourself up, just keep reading).

You know the feeling.  You see her.  She’s hot.  Real hot. You’ve seen her in your dreams, and now here she is.  Sitting alone.  Wearing that svelte dress that was sewn just for her scintillatingly salacious body.  She might as well be wearing a sign that says “Come Hither” with your name on it. It’s “go” time.  Time to take that bold step forward.

But then it hits you.

First it’s like a weight in the pit of your stomach.  Then it grows, moving up your solar plexus through your chest and up to the back of your throat. Your notice that your face feels a little warm as well. Your heart beat increases, and your breathing becomes more rapid. Your feet also feel heavy, almost like they’re stuck to the floor.

You know how this story ends, right?  MISSION ABORTED.

Well guess what…

…That’s all about to end!

Here’s the key: view this as an opportunity to learn HOW your body produces anxiety.

The next time this happens, just relax, and rather than trying to fight it or push through it, PAY ATTENTION.

Notice where IN YOUR BODY the feelings of anxiety first arise. Where do they start? Where do they spread to? What is the quality of the feeling… is it cold? Warm? Does it run only on the surface or deep inside?

What happens to the rest of your bodily awareness when this happens?  What are you doing with your breathing?  Just observe.

DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE ANY OF IT!

Just observe it, objectively and carefully. Don’t try to get into action or talk to any girl. Just observe your bodily response WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

That is the first step. Do this and see if you can find your way over to her now.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. In our live, 3-day seminars we do numerous interactive exercises just like these that blast you through stuck points and get you on the smooth street-way to Sargy success.  Get your Seduction ass to Chicago (just 3 weeks away), London or Copenhagen (next month) or our other cities this year.  Click here for our 3-day Speed Seduction® seminars now!