Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

In past editions of this blog, I’ve delved into how to Sarge when you’re out somewhere without a wingman and you’re trying to “break in” to the circle when everyone else seems to be there with all their friends.

Well, here’s a question I’ve been asked several times in the past couple weeks (that also comes up often in our live seminars, group coaching calls, forums, and discussion groups):

What do you do when the woman you’re interested in has an overprotective “guy friend” around?

When you try to find out if he’s her boyfriend – “So how long have you two been together?” - she says “Oh, he’s just a friend.  We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend.” However, it seems like he’s always around, interrupting every attempt you make to create excitement and get her all giddy wanting you, not to mention inserting himself into every single conversation.

When he’s not around, she mentions him frequently, often beginning sentences with “(insert his name here) says…” or “(insert his name here) thinks…” Even if she didn’t say the words, you just KNOW that if you and her ever got in an argument, he’d be in your face “defending” her.

So, how do you get this guy to stop c**K-blocking you, when he’s not even her boyfriend?

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most, let me ask you:

“Is she the ONLY succulent, amazing woman on the whole freaking planet???”

That being said, before you go any further, consider the following.

• Simple fact: he’s “around all the time” because she wants him to be.  That’s the bottom line.  This overrides all.

But, that being said:

1. Could be, she’s not on the market. She might have a boyfriend who’s on an extended trip (in military service, long-term overseas client project, etc) and this guy is a friend of theirs who “looks out” for her as a favor to her boyfriend
2. Maybe he’s consigned to her “friend zone” and he comes from a place of scarcity and “hangs around her” to keep what little she gives him.  If that’s the case, he has a vested interest in sabotaging every man who Sarges on her.
3. Have you tried befriending him, or do you just go silent, sulky, and mopey-faced when he “interrupts”? When you show the world that you are a positive, engaging person, you outshine the AFC competition.  Remember: you don’t have to outrun the bear.  You just have to outrun the other guy the bear is chasing.

Maybe it’s #3.  Open yourself to the possibility.  Give her a chance by giving him a chance.  However, if he really is giving you the third degree and is there entirely to cause you problems, you might gain some clues from what this student did.

Peace and piece.
RJ

P.S. Ready to get control of your life and your social situations and start meeting, flirting, dating, seducing, and sleeping with sexy, beautiful women, fast and easy… no matter who’s around?

Click here to learn what gets you all of this – and more!

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Ever heard the term “woman hater”?  It’s the first thing that comes to mind when I relate this story about a student of mine:

The problem: he was prone to use terms like bit*h, sl*t, and who*e (without the astericks of course) when talking about (and sometimes TO) women.  It’s like showing a sign of hate toward them.

I called him on it, and he explained it as a “love-hate” thing – he disliked women, but he loved them even more.  He was trying to figure out where the dislike comes that led them to use these bad words in describing them.

He used to have a girlfriend (for over 3 years) and he would call her a “fat sl*t” all the time.  Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she gained a lot of weight… and also cheated on him.  My student “got even” (as he put it) when she called him one morning and another woman (who had stayed the night with him) picked up and told her never to call him again.

So the bottom line: he didn’t want to have this feeling of bit*h, sl*t, and who*e, etc. with women.  Instead, he wanted a “better vision” when it came to approaching women.

Here’s What You’re Probably REALLY
So Angry About

If this student’s tale is something YOU can relate to, STOP beating yourself up and LISTEN to what I’m about to say.

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: the past isn’t who you are and it isn’t what you deserve.

I’ve always held that once you completely let go of whatever makes you angry at women, you’ll find that deep down inside there is a fear of rejection.

I’m not normally a betting man, but I’ll wager that as you meet good, quality women, you will realize that whatever happened between you and your ex (or any other women you’ve been mean to in the past) really wasn’t a big deal, at least not in the “grand scheme.”

It was a mistake or a misunderstanding between two people and there is no reason to hold it against yourself or anyone else.  So you did wrong – accept it, respect it, LEARN FROM IT.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The key is to take any and all confusion, frustration, and stuckness you’ve ever experienced with women, and convert it to pure, immediately usable learning, so you can bounce right back, and automatically do things right with the next woman.  Click here to learn how to go about this…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Another so-called “axiom” that I can’t STAND… yet another example of how smart men nonetheless get socially programmed into Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) is this:

“Nice guys finish last.”

So, if I’m following this, women claim (as reinforced by the romance industry) that women want sweet, sensitive, NICE guys… because they, too, are programmed that they’re “supposed” to… but deep down, they want a “bad boy” or even a “jerk” because supposedly they’re more “exciting.”

People: you can’t have it both ways.

For this one student of mine, being a “bad boy” does not come naturally to him.  He’s charming, and he’s got girl-getting game.  But he thinks something’s “missing” – namely, that “bad boy” persona that he is convinced is the cooter-soaking “cinch” that will have him beating off the babes with a stick…as opposed to…well…you get the picture.

Here’s where this student thinks he’s stuck…

What happens in my own seduction process is that sooner or later, something happens and women decide I fall in the “nice guy” category. I don’t do the “AFC” thing – I do not attach excess meaning to any one woman I’m sarging.  I don’t put up with games or nonsense, and I clearly position myself as “the prize” (limited availability).

Some reason though I end up as the guy they want as the “boyfriend” and not the fling.  So bottom line, women tend to take more time before hopping in the sack with me because they see me as “boyfriend material” rather than a “disposable fling.”  Maybe if I was more of a “bad boy,” the woman would show me her “bad girl” side.

Wow. So women think you’re a prize catch?  What a terrible problem to have!

Seriously though, I think there are ways to approach this without having to reinvent yourself as a character from an early Marlon Brando movie.

Perhaps you simply need to better structure her expectations from the beginning.  As in, not seeing her more than once a week (instead of “always being there”). Not allowing yourself to be available for large chunks of time (so she sees you as a “prize” she needs to work for, rather than the doormat who’s always on her front step). Or, simply, better screening to find women who really are only looking for flings, if that’s what you want.

Or you may just have to stop being such a champ in the sack that she decides you MUST be a “keeper” and tries to hoard you for herself, ONLY!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. It’s true both ways: “bad boys” can’t pull off a “nice guy” act anywhere as convincingly as a genuine Nice Guy.  What if, instead of trying to be something you’re not, you had a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone?  Click here to learn how to get it, starting now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Mel Gibson should check out some reruns of a TV show called ‘NYPD Blue’

For those of you who have not heard of this show (which ran from 1993-2005), the main character was Detective Andy Sipowicz… who, to say the least, was not an AFC in how he did his job.

Problem was, in his personal life and with women, he was a train wreck.  When we first meet Andy, he’s a longtime alcoholic, about to lose his career and estranged from his son.  He sought solace in booze and hookers.

Now, the Sipowicz story is legendary – bald, overweight, middle-aged Everyman twice marries much younger, hotter women, has several encounters with other hotties between the two marriages, and has women chasing him throughout.  I could write a book.  But for this article, I’m only going to deal with his seduction of Sylvia (the “pissy little bitch” I talk about below.)

In the very first scene, we see Andy Sipowicz humiliated on the witness stand when it’s revealed he slashed a mobster’s tires so he could see in the guy’s trunk without a warrant.  When the district attorney prosecuting the case shares her “concern” with Sipowicz because his misbehavior got her case thrown out, his response to her:

(while grabbing his crotch) “Hey, ipsa this you pissy little bitch!”

After a life-changing experience (getting shot by a hit-man during a tryst with his favorite hooker), Sipowicz gets sober by default (Mr. Daniels and  Mr. Beam don’t work at the ICU).

Now seeing clearly, he gets his career back on track, rebuilds his relationship with his son…and eventually asks Sylvia out to dinner.  When she expresses shock and asks why she would want to have dinner with HIM of ALL people, he says “I don’t know, you do or you don’t.”

She decides she does.

Soon, they become an item, and after several delays due to things that “keep coming up” at Andy’s apartment, she spends the night at his place.

What happens next?

Then it’s time to meet her family.  At a birthday party, where the liquor flows as freely as the laughter.  Testing himself, Sipowicz takes a drink.  Then another.  Cut to later that night when he throws Sylvia out in a drunken rage where all his demons (anger, hate, prejudice, self-loathing – sound familiar?) come out.

Over the next several months, Sipowicz gets more serious about self improvement.  He attends AA meetings and works with a sponsor.  Through persistent outreach he starts rebuilding his relationship with his son.  With the support of his partners, as well as a boss who proves more understanding than Sipowicz expected, he works on his negative attitudes and stereotypes and becomes more open and receptive.

Eventually, he creates another chance with Sylvia.  This time, he doesn’t blow it.  They get married, and at age 48 he becomes a father again.  A second chance at the life that, until recently, he never thought he’d have.

Now, why should Mel Gibson take note?

Here’s why Andy Sipowicz went from “hope-to-die drunk” to fulfilled man with a solid girl-getting game, while Mel keeps sliding in the opposite direction.

• Rather than dwelling on the past and beating himself up, Sipowicz accepts his own past behavior without passing judgment.  He applies lessons from it that help him become a better man.  (Over and over women tell him: “I know who you WERE.  And that’s an important part of how you became who you ARE.”)
• Sipowicz kept postponing Sylvia’s first visit to his apartment because he was unsure of his girl-getting game (he couldn’t remember the last time he had sex sober).  Whatever was tripping his inner game, though, turned out it wouldn’t have stopped her from wanting him anyway.
• Getting sober, and his initial experiences with Sylvia showed him he COULD succeed with women who, up until that point, may or may not have given him the time of day.  He subsequently uses this as an anchor to “pull himself back” when his path to betterment takes an unexpected turn (like when he briefly starts drinking again after Andy Jr., also a policeman, is killed in the line of duty).

Note to Mel Gibson: almost everything I described is in Seasons 1 and 2, which are available on DVD. Check them out.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Andy Sipowicz was not “runway model handsome” and he had a “past” that was less than desirable (with some ongoing areas for improvement) but there are enough women who liked him that it didn’t matter.  It was really his “inner game” that had him “tripping on his Johnson.”  Learn how he turned things around, and how YOU can, too.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

The dreck that’s pumped out into the mass media by the “romance industry” would have you thinking you have to look like a movie star, sing like a rock star, be chiseled like an Olympic star, and have enough money to take a space shuttle ride to an actual star, to get the babes you really want.

This is why so many guys resort to the 5 Bs – bullying, begging, buying, BS, and booze.  And also why many guys put off their girl-getting game for years while they hunker down in the gym building the “sixth B” – biceps.

Frankly, it has me SEEING stars.

Look: I’ve taught thousands of guys how to apply Speed Seduction® to cut through the “dating game” and score with women who, up till now, you thought would never give you the f@@king time of day.  I practice what I preach and… I’m 51, lanky and ugly as sin dipped in shit and I am never hard-up for women.

But it wasn’t always this way.

Where do you think I was when I started all of this, 22 years ago?

1. Living at home, moved back with my parents at age of 29.
2. Uglier than sin dipped in shit. (Age has only made me SLIGHTLY more graceful.)
3. NO money.
4. Driving a beat up Datsun b210 with NO f@@kin’ paint job left to speak of.

Didn’t stop me, though.

Chances are, things are “less than perfect” with you.  So f@@king what?

Let me ask one question: what would it be like if it just so happens that “one thing” about yourself you really don’t like, happens to be THE thing that gets many women hot… but you didn’t know because you didn’t take charge, fire up your girl-getting game, and FIND OUT?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Fed up having to settle for low quality, average women, or worse being alone?  Sick and tired of getting rejected, ignored, humiliated, overlooked, shut down or standing there frozen and speechless by beautiful women?

All that stops, starting now.  Click here to find out how…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

I often get asked, in e-mails I get from students as well as during live appearances on video chats and in-person seminars, what are some of the best pick-up lines for guys to use on chicks.

Let me begin by stating: I don’t teach “pick-up lines.”  Speed Seduction® Masters-In-Training (MITs) use conversational patterns.

So let’s ask: what IS a “pattern”?

A “pattern” is much more than memorized “lines” or even complete “speeches”.  It includes a more broad variety of actions/methods/techniques designed to engage the woman, capture her vibe, and appeal to what drives her…wild.

I know you want to see some pattern language in action.  So before we go any further, watch this short video clip of me working a hot Brazilian chick at one of my live seminars into an erotic trance.  (My apologies in advance, this clip is low-quality, but you’ll still be able to hear and see what’s happening.)

More importantly: the right question can be a “pattern”.

A “pattern” is any communication that captures and leads a woman’s imagination and stimulates her emotions in the right direction.

Which of the following, for example, is a “pattern”:

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What do you find most challenging about what you do, and what do you find most fulfilling about what you do?

Do you get my point here?

Here’s another example:

1. Where was the last place you went on vacation?

2. If you could go somewhere where money and time were no object, where would you go, and what kind of….things…would you like to try?

Here’s a fun assignment: come up with a typical question women get asked by Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) guys. Then take a stab at coming up with a Speed Seduction® version of the same question that actually would stimulate her emotions and imagination in a useful direction.  Post them here on the blog!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Success with women involves creating irresistible POSITIVE challenge, that draws women forward and massively magnifies her attraction to you, from the first word spoken to her last gasp of pleasure.  Click here to find the “mother lode” of conversational patterns…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

All human beings experience a fair amount of self-doubt from time to time.  Especially when it comes to approaching women.

Ever found yourself ten feet away from a chick who was the best looking babe you’d seen all year (or at least all week), there all by herself in the cafe reading a book, looking like she’d probably like it (or at least wouldn’t slap you silly) if you went up to her right now. 

But you don’t do it.

Instead, you have this endless, pointless conversation in your head and find any excuse to avoid putting yourself out there.

Eventually she pays the check, closes the book, and walks out. 

Whew – at least you didn’t get rejected. By her at least.  You just want to…

…Tell Your Doubting Voice To “Shut Up Already”
So You Can Get Some Action

Here’s the difference between a Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training (MIT) vs. the Average Frustrated Chump (AFCs): the MIT has learned to recognize when the “doubt delay dialogue” is happening (or about to happen), and stops those feelings dead in their tracks.

How do YOU Get this?

You see, developing a “monitoring” state or awareness that checks in and recognizes when you are beginning to have less than useful responses; THIS awareness is a great gift. It’s quite magickal.

You see, NO ONE is in a good state ALL the time. That’s not what we want to aim at.

What we DO want to aim at is knowing our own unique patterns of thinking, feeling, acting and being able to recognize quickly when we are going in a less than useful way; interrupt it effectively, and get back on track.

This skill isn’t very sexy; it’s not like being able to levitate, turn invisible or walk through a wall. But it is very, VERY powerful.

I’ll tell you what IS sexy: the results.  It’s sexy when she puts that book aside and turns to you, and you use the vibe as a down payment for an all-expenses-paid-for-two journey on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Quieting the rancor of self-doubt is based on a belief: that your feelings and thoughts and responses CAN be put in your awareness and CAN be brought under a good measure of direction and control. And it’s based on a value that doing so is VALUABLE, even necessary.  Click here to learn what gets you this awareness and control…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

We’ve been following the experiences of my student, and so far it’s been an oft-told story…

… at least one that’s oft-told among my students.

Boy meets Girl.

Boy Sarges on Girl and gets her excited about exploring new worlds without resorting to bullying, begging, buying, BS, or booze (or biceps) or getting stuck in the “friend” trap.

Girl puts up resistance just when Boy thinks he’s about to score big.  Boy confidently and unflinchingly appeals to her vibe and overcomes Girl’s resistance and they’re off to the races.

Well: I’m pleased to report this story has a happy ending and they lived happily ever after. 

Part 3: (Inner) Game On!

From that moment, their subsequent dates went GREAT.  They had a great time.  She was happy with him because he was always doing different and unusual things (well, unusual because she was used to dealing with AFCs).  In doing so he adhered to the principle, “Leave her better than you found her.” He was happy because he was managing a fruitful relationship for the first time in his life.

The relationship is now over, but my student has great memories that he can appeal to every time he needs a positive feeling or “vibe” in his girl-getting game.  As a result of the experience, he’s no longer afraid of exploring his feelings and letting himself live every second without dreading the uncertainty of what’s coming next.

Now, as we wrap up here, I want to focus on a few key points.

1) Notice that he didn’t say anything about “dates” until AFTER they slept together.  He “met” her several times, but he adhered to my teaching: “Dating is what you do with women you’re already sleeping with.” By avoiding the “dating” rituals he actually INCREASED the odds she would become his girlfriend.

2) I said earlier they lived happily ever after.  I did NOT say they lived happily ever after TOGETHER. It doesn’t always work out quite that way, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t work out.

Remember: when you interact with a woman, your goal is not to succeed with her, but to hone and strengthen your girl-getting skills that will lead to success with many other women.

3) That said, if this particular woman turns out to be “the one”, then good on both of you!  If not, the odds just went WAY up that you’ll succeed more often with more women… and that you WILL find “the one” much sooner.

Either way, it sure beats a poke in the eye!

Much peace and many more pieces,
RJ

P.S. Life is fine when you have an effective, sure way to learn from every situation with women, so you develop a “stealth charisma” that’s subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone.  Click here to learn how to get it.

Dear Speed Seduction® Masters In Training,

I really want to keep up the conversation about how our language around “dating” keeps us “dating” our hands.

So here is another clip for you.  I hope it gets you thinking. Please give me your feedback and comments.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S.  “Dating language” is often the root cause of confusion, frustration, and stuckness you’ve experienced with women.  Applying the teachings in Nail Your Inner Game converts all that to pure, immediately usable learning and gets you moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE