Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

It takes training to recognize progress as one moves from Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) to Speed Seducer® who has mastered his skills and is achieving success with the woman he truly desires.

Learn more in this short clip:

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. With Nail Your Inner Game, you get the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system for untangling the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys stuck entirely, or stuck at a very underachieving level, and I’ve created a way where anyone can use it.

CLICK HERE TO CLAIM YOUR PERSONAL COPY NOW

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

A big part of achieving ultimate success with women you truly desire comes from understanding of the concept of “frames”; the overall guidelines through which you present everything else you do.

I truly believe that understanding how to fit all of your thoughts, actions, responses and ideas with women into the right frame…the frame of NEVER supplicating, begging or “asking”, but instead, offering challenges, structuring opportunities and eliciting/evoking processes is the single most important key to making every other aspect of your success with women at least three to four times more effective and powerful.

A student asked me this question:

> Is a frame just anything that can make people see things differently? So how do you CONTROL the frame under those circumstances?
>
> Essentially, the idea is you are supposed to hold a given point of view – “I’m testing to see if I can find someone who measures up to my standards”. Sure, that makes sense. But it still doesn’t leave me feeling like I understand the whole process. It is doesn’t leave me feeling like I could create a different frame for a different circumstance.

RJ here.  The frame, among other things, is the underlying, UNSPOKEN set of assumptions about WHO holds the power, WHO has what is of value, WHO must please WHOM.

Let’s chunk this down.

She says something like, “I just can’t find a guy who can treat me like a lady”.

An AFC would ask what she means and then act as she describes. She has set the frame that SHE is the prize who must be one.

We Speed Seduction® Masters turn it around, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t find a lady who can move me past LUST into TRUE passion…you know…where you aren’t just feeling hot and sticky in the moment..you don’t just give all that you have…but you find things coming forth in you that you never knew were there…just waiting to be satisfied.”

You see what I mean? That’s just one example.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to learn how to present in a way that is much more receivable to the feminine psyche and mind…receivable in a way that just lets it slide right in…deep into the place where her wildest fantasies spring to life and action, with you?  Get my Frame Control and Sexual Themes course and claim your 16+ hours of teaching on this topic now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Have you ever encountered a “man hater”, a woman who is closed and has deep “man issues,” or a woman who you reasonably believe is only one slight nudge away from becoming a schlong slicer?

Are you one of those guys who seem to be a love-hate figure with the ladies?  Meaning, some women strongly enjoy being around you and others instantaneously hate you, everything you stand for, and everything you like just because you like it?

Well, before worrying that you might have to change your name to Bobbitt, consider this.

Behind every angry response, look for the resentment, or jealousy or even most commonly, THE FEAR.

Maybe this woman who “hates” you has had pain from her past attraction to men whom she PERCEIVES you are like.

She associates pain to that attraction she felt to you because, in the past, men whom she PERCEIVES you are like, caused her pain (and/or she caused herself pain by her automatic reactions to these men, expecting more from them than they wanted, or something different than they wanted.

Just like the AFC chump/nice guy EXPECTS women to be attracted to his niceness and then is disappointed and angry and fearful when they don’t!

Congratulations on discovering something: women are human.

THEY HAVE AUTOPILOT RESPONSES and FALSE perceptions, just like us guys! They see things through the filters of the past and ASSUME that what they perceive is accurate and real.

In her mind, the possibility that you could have many of the attractive characteristics of these guys from the past, WITHOUT being arrogant or cruel or hurtful DOESN’T OCCUR TO HER.  She only sees the potential to be hurt YET AGAIN.

And probably concludes, in addition, that she is DOOMED to be hurt and can NEVER find a guy she could be attracted to AND who will treat her well.

So, it goes back to her fear. If she was utterly neutral about it and didn’t have any charge on it at all, she would care less about you, one way or the other.

We OFTEN fear what we are attracted to, because that attraction can make us feel out of control. Or can remind us of past pain. It’s not hate – it’s F-E-A-R.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. When you know what to look for and how to use a woman’s emotional responses, she will actually provide almost all of the energy for the seduction.  This is just a sliver of what we’ll cover in our London 3-day seminar, which starts just seven days from now.  You in?  Click here to get your seat before it’s too late.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

The other night I was hanging out with the Swedish  ex-room mate of my Swedish ex-girlfriend.

Let’s call this gorgeous, 5 foot 10,  25 year old, buxom Swedish lass, “Inge”.

Anyway, Inge and I were sitting over coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Wilshire and 9th when we struck up a conversation with a Persian woman in her mid-thirties.

This lady was talking about a recent date with a guy who seemed so romantic and wonderful over dinner. But then, as soon as they got back to her place, he aggressively jumped on her.

She asked him to slow down a bit.  “This is going too fast,” she said she told him. “Can we slow down and talk a bit?  A woman needs a bit of talk first.”

This just pissed him off.  “We did our talking at the restaurant,” he said.   Then he got more aggressive.

When she insisted he slow down and talk, he got up and left!

This lady shook her head and said, “Doesn’t he understand? Women want to talk a bit first. I was ready for him but I wanted him to talk and make me feel a bit special.”

After we left the Bean, Inge said to me, “That woman was so full of shit, generalizing like that.  I’ve got lots of sexual confidence and if I want to fuck a guy enough to invite him back to my place, I’m perfectly fine with getting to the fucking!”

(Hey-do you still wonder why I love the Swedish people?)

Here is the point of the story:

1. While it’s often safe to have general rules to follow, every woman is different, and you have to calibrate to the unique woman in front of you. (And if you are anal enough to write to me about generalizing about Swedish women, fuck you very much.)
2. Almost never take a woman’s auto-pilot responses at face value. In the case of the Persian, her real emotional need was not to talk or to feel special, but rather, to feel comfortable letting go of control.

The guy took it personally and permanently, rather than saying something like, “Of course.  Let’s just do what we only both feel comfortable with. Why don’t you give me a little tour of your place?”

His next move?  After about half an hour of chat, to say, “I’ve got to make it an early evening. Can you walk me out?”

As soon as he gets to the door, turn around, pull her in, and kiss her passionately.

(By the way, I’m working on a new course on Effective Sexual Aggression And Creative Closing For The Former Nice Guy. Stay tuned for more, because I’ll be going into great depth about how to master this stuff.  It’s still a fundamental sticking point for too many guys).

I’d like to hear your comments on this subject and this post.

Peace, piece and hooray for Inge and her lovely countrywomen!

RJ

P.S. Speaking of all lovely things Scandinavian, two weekends from now (June 10-12) is our next 3-day seminar, located in Copenhagen, Denmark.  Claim your ticket to immerse yourself in 3-days of total Seduction mastery teaching by clicking here right now.

Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,

The other day, someone left this comment on my blog as well as emailing it to me.  I am going to reproduce it here for you to read and quite frankly do nothing other than ask you: what would YOU tell him?

I’d really like to encourage your participation here, so the person who leaves the best comment gets a 1/2 free Skype consult with me-winner to be announced on the blog.  Here is his post; please read and answer him as best YOU can:

Hey Ross,

I have to say this is all really great stuff! I have been following your lessons (at least these updates and the older stuff I was able to get for free through link provided with the “Up To Speed with Speed Seduction” video series) for quite some time now- since the end of last Fall. However I can’t really seem to integrate any of this into my approaches to women very easily, and I can’t afford to buy any of your “premium” stuff (I’m a broke college student)…

I feel like I should be much better with women than I am- I’m smart, good-looking (women tell me this all the time, even though they say they’re not attracted to me), and fairly successful (I go to an Ivy League school and do pretty well academically). But I feel like a total failure with women- I’m 21 and I’ve never even had my first kiss! Girls my age have always told me they “don’t like my like that” (romantically/sexually), and it’s really caused some problems with my life. A while back, one girl even actually thought I was suicidal because I seemed so upset/depressed about this stuff, and caused some considerable trouble for me by reporting that concern to the authorities! (suicide on campus has been a really big issue here lately, after a recent string of successful student suicides)

I really need some kind of turn-around with my romantic/sexual life!

I know I’m capable of being really good with women because two or three times in my life something has just “clicked” in my head and for a brief moment I was really good at flirting with women- one time this got me a date with a really hot, smart, popular girl when I was in high school that I ended up having to miss because I ended up stuck on a car en route to Vermont with a dead cell phone (she ended up thinking I had stood her up, and spread word through the rest of the high school- killing any remaining chance I had of getting a date while in high school) Another time, here in college, I got a girl not-so-subtly inviting herself back to my place (for a hook-up), but I actually didn’t recognize what she was doing until it was too late and I said something really stupid that was a huge turn-off (she was really cold to me from then on and never brought up what had happened). So I know it’s possible for me to get the kind of results I want with women, or something even better! But I just can’t seem to do it and it’s destroying my life bit by bit…

I know I do a lot of stuff wrong with women, but I just don’t know how to go about fixing any of it… I know I also do some stuff very right with women, but it’s much harder for me to pick out what those things are… I’ve gotten really desperate to try and find something that works for me, and I’ve tried everything. I even created a profile on several dating websites (my profile on OK Cupid is Northstar1989 if anyone wants to take a look at how I present myself to the world and see what I do wrong…), but NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING seems to work for me….

Please help me Ross. If there’s anything you can do, any advice you could give me, I’d really appreciate it.

Regards,
Blake

P.S. I’ll also ‘CC this to the e-mail address I have for you from the Up to Speed videos, rj@seduction.com ,in case you don’t notice this comment.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Everybody has their own “Sarging zone.”

For some guys, it’s the bars and clubs.  Others lay their mack down at the bookstores and coffee shops.

I have students who go grocery shopping every day, buying just what they need to make dinner that day, because it keeps them in play daily in a place where women of all levels of hotness can be found, pretty much any time.

Others, I kid you not, religiously attend services every week because there are a lot of women there.  (Something can be said for that: you know from the jump you have something in common that’s extremely important to both of you!)

So how annoying is it when you’re at a bar or club and you just want to hang out and enjoy a couple drinks, and your buddies keep razzing you because you just don’t want to walk right up to that hottie up at the bar, right this second.  Even worse when they say “Awww come on, show us some of that Speed Seduction® stuff you talk about.  Show us how you ‘Sarge’ will ya?”

While one of the goals of Speed Seduction® is the ability to effortlessly and fearlessly meet women anytime, anyhow, anywhere, THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO, EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME.

Maybe you’re at the bookstore because you want to buy a f@@king BOOK.  Maybe you have a headache, or you just found out your investments bellied-up and you’re just not thinking about getting laid RIGHT THAT SECOND.

So, why, when you’re in a club, do you HAVE to do this or that?  Is there some rule that forces you to turn into a hound-dog just because you saw it in some movie?

Look: at 51 years of age, I DON’T GO TO CLUBS.  It’s just not my thing.  I CAN and DO easily pick-up women in almost any other environment. As in VERY easily. So if someone’s giving you a hard time because, on a finger-snap, you’re not racing up to every single woman like a Pavlovian dog, first of all have compassion.  Could be your friends mean well, but they aren’t getting any and are looking to live vicariously through you.

Part of the power of Speed Seduction® is the power of CHOICE.  You CHOOSE what you want to do at this very moment.  Maybe in a moment from now, you’ll see the woman you CHOOSE to approach and claim your results with.  That, to me, beats a “friendly jab”… or a poke in the eye!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Since getting in control of your life and meeting, flirting, dating, seducing, and sleeping with sexy, beautiful women, fast and easy, when YOU want to is something that’s of interest to you,  click here and start taking charge of YOUR game, starting now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

In past editions of this blog, I’ve delved into how to Sarge when you’re out somewhere without a wingman and you’re trying to “break in” to the circle when everyone else seems to be there with all their friends.

Well, here’s a question I’ve been asked several times in the past couple weeks (that also comes up often in our live seminars, group coaching calls, forums, and discussion groups):

What do you do when the woman you’re interested in has an overprotective “guy friend” around?

When you try to find out if he’s her boyfriend – “So how long have you two been together?” - she says “Oh, he’s just a friend.  We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend.” However, it seems like he’s always around, interrupting every attempt you make to create excitement and get her all giddy wanting you, not to mention inserting himself into every single conversation.

When he’s not around, she mentions him frequently, often beginning sentences with “(insert his name here) says…” or “(insert his name here) thinks…” Even if she didn’t say the words, you just KNOW that if you and her ever got in an argument, he’d be in your face “defending” her.

So, how do you get this guy to stop c**K-blocking you, when he’s not even her boyfriend?

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most, let me ask you:

“Is she the ONLY succulent, amazing woman on the whole freaking planet???”

That being said, before you go any further, consider the following.

• Simple fact: he’s “around all the time” because she wants him to be.  That’s the bottom line.  This overrides all.

But, that being said:

1. Could be, she’s not on the market. She might have a boyfriend who’s on an extended trip (in military service, long-term overseas client project, etc) and this guy is a friend of theirs who “looks out” for her as a favor to her boyfriend
2. Maybe he’s consigned to her “friend zone” and he comes from a place of scarcity and “hangs around her” to keep what little she gives him.  If that’s the case, he has a vested interest in sabotaging every man who Sarges on her.
3. Have you tried befriending him, or do you just go silent, sulky, and mopey-faced when he “interrupts”? When you show the world that you are a positive, engaging person, you outshine the AFC competition.  Remember: you don’t have to outrun the bear.  You just have to outrun the other guy the bear is chasing.

Maybe it’s #3.  Open yourself to the possibility.  Give her a chance by giving him a chance.  However, if he really is giving you the third degree and is there entirely to cause you problems, you might gain some clues from what this student did.

Peace and piece.
RJ

P.S. Ready to get control of your life and your social situations and start meeting, flirting, dating, seducing, and sleeping with sexy, beautiful women, fast and easy… no matter who’s around?

Click here to learn what gets you all of this – and more!

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Ever heard the term “woman hater”?  It’s the first thing that comes to mind when I relate this story about a student of mine:

The problem: he was prone to use terms like bit*h, sl*t, and who*e (without the astericks of course) when talking about (and sometimes TO) women.  It’s like showing a sign of hate toward them.

I called him on it, and he explained it as a “love-hate” thing – he disliked women, but he loved them even more.  He was trying to figure out where the dislike comes that led them to use these bad words in describing them.

He used to have a girlfriend (for over 3 years) and he would call her a “fat sl*t” all the time.  Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she gained a lot of weight… and also cheated on him.  My student “got even” (as he put it) when she called him one morning and another woman (who had stayed the night with him) picked up and told her never to call him again.

So the bottom line: he didn’t want to have this feeling of bit*h, sl*t, and who*e, etc. with women.  Instead, he wanted a “better vision” when it came to approaching women.

Here’s What You’re Probably REALLY
So Angry About

If this student’s tale is something YOU can relate to, STOP beating yourself up and LISTEN to what I’m about to say.

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: the past isn’t who you are and it isn’t what you deserve.

I’ve always held that once you completely let go of whatever makes you angry at women, you’ll find that deep down inside there is a fear of rejection.

I’m not normally a betting man, but I’ll wager that as you meet good, quality women, you will realize that whatever happened between you and your ex (or any other women you’ve been mean to in the past) really wasn’t a big deal, at least not in the “grand scheme.”

It was a mistake or a misunderstanding between two people and there is no reason to hold it against yourself or anyone else.  So you did wrong – accept it, respect it, LEARN FROM IT.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The key is to take any and all confusion, frustration, and stuckness you’ve ever experienced with women, and convert it to pure, immediately usable learning, so you can bounce right back, and automatically do things right with the next woman.  Click here to learn how to go about this…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Another so-called “axiom” that I can’t STAND… yet another example of how smart men nonetheless get socially programmed into Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) is this:

“Nice guys finish last.”

So, if I’m following this, women claim (as reinforced by the romance industry) that women want sweet, sensitive, NICE guys… because they, too, are programmed that they’re “supposed” to… but deep down, they want a “bad boy” or even a “jerk” because supposedly they’re more “exciting.”

People: you can’t have it both ways.

For this one student of mine, being a “bad boy” does not come naturally to him.  He’s charming, and he’s got girl-getting game.  But he thinks something’s “missing” – namely, that “bad boy” persona that he is convinced is the cooter-soaking “cinch” that will have him beating off the babes with a stick…as opposed to…well…you get the picture.

Here’s where this student thinks he’s stuck…

What happens in my own seduction process is that sooner or later, something happens and women decide I fall in the “nice guy” category. I don’t do the “AFC” thing – I do not attach excess meaning to any one woman I’m sarging.  I don’t put up with games or nonsense, and I clearly position myself as “the prize” (limited availability).

Some reason though I end up as the guy they want as the “boyfriend” and not the fling.  So bottom line, women tend to take more time before hopping in the sack with me because they see me as “boyfriend material” rather than a “disposable fling.”  Maybe if I was more of a “bad boy,” the woman would show me her “bad girl” side.

Wow. So women think you’re a prize catch?  What a terrible problem to have!

Seriously though, I think there are ways to approach this without having to reinvent yourself as a character from an early Marlon Brando movie.

Perhaps you simply need to better structure her expectations from the beginning.  As in, not seeing her more than once a week (instead of “always being there”). Not allowing yourself to be available for large chunks of time (so she sees you as a “prize” she needs to work for, rather than the doormat who’s always on her front step). Or, simply, better screening to find women who really are only looking for flings, if that’s what you want.

Or you may just have to stop being such a champ in the sack that she decides you MUST be a “keeper” and tries to hoard you for herself, ONLY!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. It’s true both ways: “bad boys” can’t pull off a “nice guy” act anywhere as convincingly as a genuine Nice Guy.  What if, instead of trying to be something you’re not, you had a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone?  Click here to learn how to get it, starting now.