Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

The other day, I shared with you the story of the student who decided to implement a “friends first” policy in his girl-getting game.  I can think of a few F-words that go along with this policy, and I can pretty much guarantee that fornication is NOT one of them.

All too true in this particular student’s case, because now I’m going to show you how he not only didn’t get laid, but then he committed a Sargy sin.

First, the result he got when he actually did something Sargingly decent, but then allowed “friends first” to stop him from taking it to the next level:

> Just to take a sidetrack, I did some SS patterns and techniques with a girl I met at work. We were hanging out one night, talking, and we were just talking about ourselves and relationships, and somewhere in the conversation I threw in “yea, that’s why I always go for it, even if the girl does have a boyfriend…because who knows if the guy really is what she’s looking for or if she wants more…but I’m honest with myself. I have to believe that I really am better for her than her boyfriend. Then I have no problem.”

This apparently set off something in her head (she had a bf at the time, although he was far away), because that night she kissed me on the cheek from her own volition.

WOW! A KISS ON THE CHEEK! STOP THE PRESSES!

I am mocking this for a REASON.

I want him (and you, if you consider this a big score) to be slapped awake. YOU are viewing HER as the rare prize to be waited for.

WHAT STOPPED HIM from escalating when SHE initiated?  What was he waiting for, if he thought this set off something in her head that could have gotten her giving HIM head?

Spend some time thinking about rapport and calibration. What are you doing right with these?  Where could you improve to get the results YOU want?

YOU have the gift. You can create these feelings now whenever you like wherever you go. SO MOVE ON.

OK – here’s the part where he Sargily sinned:

> Well, one thing I know I’m doing right is getting feedback from one
> of my female friends. She and I are really good friends and
> understand each other very well. I ran the story of this girl by
> her, she made me realize that I should start off being the friend and
> then move in.

OH MY GOD! HE IS BEING LED ASTRAY! Why would he believe the advice this chick gave him on how to win a woman?

Sinner, please believe in your future. Believe and envision being able to create these powerful feelings as a common, every-day thing, NOT a rare event.

She isn’t the gift for RESPONDING. YOU are the gift for GIVING.

YOU are the rarety; a man who evokes powerful feelings. SHE is the common, a woman who feels strongly when you speak.

So move on. BELIEVE in finding someone more open. And Goddamn it, calibrate to her responsiveness and program in getting physical. YOU CAN DO IT!

Back when I responded to this post, I included this Sargy mantra for him to remember every time he felt compelled to implement Friends First:

Silently Sargy is watching and waiting
Come home, sinner, come home
Walking the back fence
He’s calling you homeward
Come home, sinner come home

He wandered the alleys
And danced on the rooftops
Come home, sinner, come home
So you could get pussy
And pull out all the stops

COME HOME, SINNER, COME HOME.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you, too, have found yourself astray, let me personally lead you to scintillatingly sweet Sargy success.  See me in Copenhagen in a couple weeks.  Or see me in London two weeks after that.  If you can’t make either of those, see me in Montreal, Sydney, or Melbourne this fall.  But for the sake of your Sarge, see me at a 3-day seminar!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Let’s talk about a fear of something that many might consider a tad ironic.

What happens when you do such a great job of mastering your girl-getting game, that you find yourself with a woman who you think may be “The One?”

On the one hand, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?  Isn’t this why you took a bold step forward and committed to mastering the skills – to achieve ultimate success with the women (or woman) you truly desire?

On the other hand… do you want to risk missing out on someone even better by settling down with this one particular woman?

Let’s hear from a student who’s actually afraid to Sarge because he just might meet that special lady:

> I’m very aware of some conflicting “forces” inside of me that
> have kept me stuck about learning Speed Seduction®. I have been
> studying the courses for some months now, but I really haven’t
> given it true attention. Here are my issues (I know some may
> sound stupid
>
> I’m afraid of falling in love for the first girl who’s beautiful
> and likes me. Because that way I’ll never meet enough girls to find
> the one I really want. And, because I wanna have choice with women, I
> wanna become really good with Speed Seduction®. And if I get stuck on
> one girl I can’t do that. So, because of that, I’m afraid of sarging
> girls because I’m afraid of getting attached. As a consequence I end
> not sarging at all.

Instead of “conflicting” forces, maybe it is more useful and accurate to think of them as “conflated”, meaning they are jumbled up and mixed together and not clearly separated out.

What we have here is a conflation of:

1. A legitimate desire to keep focused on your outcome, which is lots of experience with lots of women…..

…with…

2. A neurotic level of desire to control and predict an outcome PRIOR to acting.

The assumption in all of this is that you are better off trying to work it all out in your head, rather than go out into the world, get your hands(and heart and dick) kinda messy, experience some confusion, and LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE.

Really, this isn’t just about women, but an approach to LIFE that says, “the best way to handle uncertainty is to try to game out every scenario in your head before you take a step.”

Intellectually, that is a formula for confusion and ignorance.

So I would encourage you to work out the difference between 1 and 2. 1 is legit, but 2 isn’t helping. And information wise, it has you stalemated.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. I want you to experience firsthand what it’s like to enjoy total success and personal satisfaction with the women you’ve always wanted… just like thousands of other guys who have already mastered the teachings inside my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the more common scenarios I get presented with is students who are good at some of the stages of seduction, but tend to choke at “the closing”.

That is, they are good at the pick-up, good at the middle stage, even good at getting a lady to make out with them.

But somehow, when it comes to “going for the goods”, they drop the ball.

In fact, just recently,  I received the following email from a student:

“Ross,

I have had your home study course for a while, but have been tripping over my own dick for the last year.

I feel like I am developing rapport and getting women in the state of mind that I want them, but I have also missed opportunities because I am used to being “shy” to make the move.

My most recent missed opportunity occurred with a nice looking 18 year old.  I did the discovery channel pattern with the daughter and she kissed me.  I still didn’t close the deal!!  Sounds pretty sad huh?

This kind of interaction has happened time and time again, even before I bought your course.

The strange thing is that most of these women seem upset after the fact.  I am willing to do what you outlined in the newsletters in order to become a more calm and confident version of myself, and realize the opportunity when it happens, and not after the fact.

Am I the only student you have had that can’t close the deal when the girl kisses him?

Thank you in advance for your response.”

Ok, let’s get this clear: just because a woman is kissing us and making out with us, does NOT mean she is sufficiently turned on or ready, in her own mind, to “dip the donkey”.

In fact, I have learned that many women need alternating periods of being heated up, then cooled down, then heated up even more strongly, when it comes to getting physical.

We call this fractionation.  Simply put, you put someone in a trance, then take them out again. When you put them back in, they go back in deeper than the previous time.  Each time you take them out of the trance it builds potential to have a stronger trance response when you put them back in.

I think many, if not MOST women, are this way, with being physically turned on. If you make out with them, raise them to a plateau of excitement, then slow down and back up a bit, they will be FAR more receptive when  you turn the heat back on.

So usually, when you start making out with a woman, it’s actually a good idea to get her sizzling for about ten minutes, then drop back down a level. If you are at “third base” back off to light kissing. Even take a break, go to the bathroom, and come back. Or move her to a different part of the house, and then resume.

We men are like rockets with our excitement: we take off straight up. Women respond better with zigs and zags.

Now, as for why this student didn’t “go for it”, I think often it is because we are shocked that the patterns actually work, even more so on women that are hotter and younger than we are used to getting.

Over the years I have seen this happen with many students: the first few times they try Speed Seduction® they do NOT expect it to work! And when it does, they don’t know quite what to do. As if suddenly you are holding a ten million dollar lottery ticket in  your hand and you are staring at the numbers because you can’t believe you won!

I remember one story in particular, about a student who had just gotten his copy of Speed Seduction® and used some patterns on an attractive woman at his church social.

She insisted they go out to the parking lot and then she jumped all over him, performed some “oral fun” on him, and then said, “Bang me. Put me on the hood of the car and bang me.”

The student said, “But the pastor is going to be coming out with the congregation any minute!”

She said, “I don’t want the pastor to bang me! I want YOU to bang me!”

Now, this guy was so shocked, Mr. Pee Pee wouldn’t do the job, so he wound up having to take a raincheck!

The bottom line is, you need to mentally rehearse success! Literally act out what you will say and do in response to a woman really wanting you, indeed insisting on having you.

Peace and piece
RJ

P.S. You can have all the success with women you’ve ever wanted right now, when you join me for 3 days and let me show you how it’s done.  Click here now to register for one of  our upcoming 3-Day Seminars (Chicago is next weekend!)

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

It happens to beginners… AND from time to time, even to skilled Speed Seduction® masters.  (VERY rarely, but it can happen to ANYONE, so don’t beat yourself up, just keep reading).

You know the feeling.  You see her.  She’s hot.  Real hot. You’ve seen her in your dreams, and now here she is.  Sitting alone.  Wearing that svelte dress that was sewn just for her scintillatingly salacious body.  She might as well be wearing a sign that says “Come Hither” with your name on it. It’s “go” time.  Time to take that bold step forward.

But then it hits you.

First it’s like a weight in the pit of your stomach.  Then it grows, moving up your solar plexus through your chest and up to the back of your throat. Your notice that your face feels a little warm as well. Your heart beat increases, and your breathing becomes more rapid. Your feet also feel heavy, almost like they’re stuck to the floor.

You know how this story ends, right?  MISSION ABORTED.

Well guess what…

…That’s all about to end!

Here’s the key: view this as an opportunity to learn HOW your body produces anxiety.

The next time this happens, just relax, and rather than trying to fight it or push through it, PAY ATTENTION.

Notice where IN YOUR BODY the feelings of anxiety first arise. Where do they start? Where do they spread to? What is the quality of the feeling… is it cold? Warm? Does it run only on the surface or deep inside?

What happens to the rest of your bodily awareness when this happens?  What are you doing with your breathing?  Just observe.

DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE ANY OF IT!

Just observe it, objectively and carefully. Don’t try to get into action or talk to any girl. Just observe your bodily response WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

That is the first step. Do this and see if you can find your way over to her now.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. In our live, 3-day seminars we do numerous interactive exercises just like these that blast you through stuck points and get you on the smooth street-way to Sargy success.  Get your Seduction ass to Chicago (just 3 weeks away), London or Copenhagen (next month) or our other cities this year.  Click here for our 3-day Speed Seduction® seminars now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In my 20+ years of teaching smart men like you how to get the results you want with the women you desire, I’ve found when people are stuck, their natural tendency is to push harder within the system they are using. That seldom works.

When I want to help people change, I look for leverage, and it is almost never obvious to the person seeking help.

Think of it as a “cold shower loop” keeping them on ice:

Feels lousy about failures with women————>is entangled up with—————>natural healthy desire for love, sex, fun, companionship, touch————->leads to running bad feelings and failure memories in mind———–leads to bring entangled, painful emotion, limiting sense of possibility along with legit desires, into interactions with women———>leads to freezing or little or limited actions/interactions with unsatisfying results————–>Feels lousy about failures with wome

And on and on the arrows go…

So my first thought is, if you’re caught in this loop, stop thinking of it as an inferiority “complex”.

Instead, look at the PROCESS you continue to run. If I took that process and dropped it into the head, body and energetic field of anyone, they’d be fucked up badly within a few months, even if they previously would be doing swimmingly.

BTW, even the loop I laid (ha ha) out isn’t complete. Most likely there are physiological things going on; when you don’t feel good about your life or significant portions of it, chances are you don’t take proper care of your diet, exercise, sleep etc and then your body feels even worse. A body with poor or limited energy etc is likely to lead to a mind that searches for reasons why you feel bad, when it fact, you may feel bad because your body is tired, undernourished, etc!

So into that loop I would probably put

——–> because one feels bad about this area of life, one doesn’t take proper care of physical health———> which predisposes mind to put negative interpretations on events to match the bad feelings in body

So, stop looking at yourself as having a “complex” and instead look at the process.

This is my first step, because it shows you how to start finding leverage to feel better physically and emotionally OUTSIDE of your interactions with women.

I’m not saying to shift your focus permanently off getting good skills with women. I’m saying, temporarily, put a lot more focus in other areas that might be tripping you up and holding you back.

This gets you leverage over the loop, however, there is also a gap: the effects may not show up for a few weeks or months.

But given that, all the more reason to get on it and decide that making a change is something you will do, starting right now.

The women are waiting; so what in Francesca’s flannel nighties are you waiting FOR?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection you’ll find entire modules on “Speed Seduction® Concepts And Thought Processes”, “Beliefs,” and “Blasting Through Stuck Points” that will get you well on your way to leaving the “loop” forever.  Crack open the Vault and claim your Virtual Vaginal Victory in 2011.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Yesterday I shared with you Part 1 of the letter from my student who set the intention of approaching 100 women and the expectation that most of them would shoot him down.

In Part 2, let’s explore some of the techniques that helped him in his quest.

As you read the rest of his letter, pay special attention to his brilliant advice on overcoming the fear of “failure”.

Now here’re a few techniques you may want to use:

Talking with other smart guys about women: I cannot say enough about this. Just learning what others are doing while doing the above is both encouraging as well as enlightening. I just want to thank the thoughtful people who post quality emails … some of us really appreciate it.

Self-reward and -analysis: Always pat yourself in the back after making an approach or every few approaches. It works. It sounds funny but you feel better when you tell yourself ‘good job’ and give yourself a pat in the back.

Every, say 5 approaches analyze what you did… think how you could have done it concretely better… and replay in your mind how you’d have done it. DON’T analyze every time, do it every say 5 times.

Women are random and if you analyze it each time you’ll NOT see the real pattern. No pun intended. But the exercise (AGAIN) is not to get better, although you naturally will, but just to get across the X number of getting shot-down.

Fear of failure and safety: Early on I sat down and asked myself what in the world was holding me back from approaching beautiful (physically, intellectually, spiritually) women and making their lives sheer beauty, wonder, delight… and I realized… it was just a simple fear of failing.

What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fall on my face? What if I just annoy her? Being someone who’s successful at a lot of things he’s tried in life this was a BIG one.

But then after some thought I realized it was a paradox. THE BIGGEST FAILURE IS TO FEAR FAILURE. If you fear failure, then you’re GUARANTEED to fail every time.

Think about it. Think about this for long enough and it’ll BLOW your mind AND any fear of failure you have out of the water. DRILL on any such feelings with this paradox.

If you fear failure, YOU WILL FAIL EACH AND EVERY TIME. It’s a complete guarantee. So THAT FEAR IS ITSELF the BIGGEST FAILURE.

Secondly, often we want to be ‘safe.’ But usually, safe from what?? Safe from success, safe from learning how to move women in ways that may astonish us. Do you want to be safe from success? Really? Think about your whole life … do you want to be safe repeating that SAME pattern?

If these are issues for you, I’d try meditate on these two ideas, after some breathing exercises, and you may find, like I did, that meditation affecting your whole life timeline, going to the deepest crevices of your being, and you will be decontaminated from those thoughts in a couple hours or days.

Don’t be surprised to see your whole physiology changing. This is not just pattern language… my whole body felt it. Use the titanium drill of the paradoxes to destroy those filthy mental microbes.

Best regards, Stephen/Angelo

Ok. Ross here again. This student really got it when he talked about the paradox of fearing failure actually being the biggest guarantee of failure.

You see, as I have said before, it is the meaning you assign to things that determines how you will feel about them. If you assign the meaning that you MUST “succeed” with every beautiful girl you see, you are going to drive yourself nuts with all sorts of unneeded fear and stress.

When you assign the right meaning to things; that you are just practicing and you are intending to fall on your face, just to practice, suddenly it loses its importance and paradoxically, you do a lot better with a lot less effort.

My own personal beliefs about meeting and seducing women are, “Let’s go have some fun with her and find out what she’s like” and “I will either get what I want or learn what I need to in order to get what I want or even better next time”.

Try THOSE on for size, and see what happens to any fear of approaching women.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Ready to claim 2011 as your Vaginal Victory Year?  Inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection you will find over 120 tightly focused, girl-pulling video lessons, including an entire segment on “Blasting Through Stuck Points” – and much much more.  Click here to claim your lifetime, instant online access now.

Dear Speed Seduction® student,

Every once in a while I get such good emails from students, there’s nothing better I can do than to simply let THEM do the talking.

Here’s one of my all-time favorites from my “greatest hits” collection: a student’s “Sarge report” on his plans to approach 100 women. It’s a very long e-mail so I’ll post it in two parts (the second part will be tomorrow).

Dear Ross and seduction brothers,

From talking with the awesome brothers it became obvious from their comments that the only way to get better at walk-ups is to do a lot of them. So one of you suggested this approach, which worked very well: choose a number of walk-ups to do, and go with the EXPECTATION of getting shot down.

That’s somewhat paradoxical but that’s what makes it work. So I set my goal at 100. I’ve already done 50, and this is the half-time report.

It’s been FANTASTIC (aside from getting enthusiastic phone numbers from women who even have boyfriends and very positive responses). Going with the expectation of let me get another one on my list makes things a WHOLE LOT easier. There’s no hurt, no rejection, it’s just another notch. “Here goes number 33.”

INSTEAD of going with the goal of I am going to get this many phone numbers, and feeling good/bad depending on the outcome, go with the goal I’m just going to have fun getting shot down this many times and learning. Then, it’s piece of cake to learn.

SET a concrete number of approaches you want, and do it. You WILL be successful at doing that.

Basically, now, I feel comfortable approaching almost any woman under any condition (the train, a coffee shop, etc.). It really is a LEAP from where I was before.

My state is infinitely more solid… and while I can get better with very attractive women, I lead with much greater ease, I deal with most objections right away, and I’m able to instill comfort/ease/trust almost instantaneously.

I can only imagine what will happen when I get to 100. But I’m not worried about that… I just need to get 50 more under my belt.

Ross here again.  Look: already a great, usable strategy for increasing your success with women – and this is just part 1.

Do you see 100 women per day as you go about your daily life?  How about 100 per week?  Let’s say in the next 14 days you actually approach 100 women instead of just walking by them.  That’s an average of 7 women a day for two weeks.   Let’s say this gets you laid once.  Is that one more time than you would have had otherwise?

Would THAT beat a poke in the eye?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Hey…you can jump start YOUR success with women and join our Speed Seduction® coaching program as well. Membership is just $1 for the first 30 days when you purchase your Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course! Just go to http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/ right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Many students tell me that the biggest roadblock in getting started toward Speed Seduction® mastery – a roadblock more absolute and impenetrable than a giant boulder blocking the path – is fear of what could go wrong.

So, you approach a woman, and sure, one of the following can (and sometimes does) happen:

• She gives you a bad look, like rolling her eyes or making that disgusted “ewww” face;
• Less blatant, but just as unnerving, her expression-change and body-language shift let you know she sees you as yet another guy who’s going to try to get up in her panties – maybe she even lets out a little sigh, and not the one she lets out when you first go down on her either;
• Swinging back to the blatant, she actually says something rude like, “Nice try jerk,” “Talk to the hand, this girl ain’t hearing it,” or “Bye” (in response to you saying “Hi”)

If these things have happened to you before, you may, understandably, be a tad gun-shy about climbing back up on that horse and galloping into another Sarge.

Because you’ll wonder: “What’s the problem?  Why do women act like bitches when I approach them?”

First, I’ll say this: what you think is the problem, isn’t really the problem.

The real problem might be your habit – up until now – of trying to predict what will happen when you walk up to her, rather than allowing yourself to go out and see for yourself.

It’s a philosophy problem; if this is happening to you, chances are it is based on the idea that you can get information about the world WITHOUT experimentation.

We call this branch of philosophy: epistemology. And if you are epistemologically confused, at least when it comes to this issue, you’ll go through life being e-piss-temologically pissed off…

…at the women you never even went up to because they MIGHT act like bitches, and at yourself for bitch-slapping yourself in advance and saving her the trouble.

Don’t you think there’s a better way?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Nail Your Inner Game gives you a way to take any and all confusion, frustration, and stuckness you’ve ever experienced with women, and immediately convert it to pure, immediately usable learning, so you could bounce right back, and automatically do things right the next time.  Click here to get yours right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Check out this video clip, from one of my recent live seminars, where I have a student complete an exercise to overcome his fear of approaching and meeting women:

chocolatedaddypart1 - iPhone

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Speed Seduction® 3-day seminars are an intensive, “immersion” training where you learn the seduction, pick-up, and inner game system that WILL get you the women you truly desire, without guesswork or games, no matter what your looks, age or “school” of game.

Click here for the full 2011 schedule and to register your seat now

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

So, she walks in.  She’s hot.  You want her.  Bad.

Then…you draw a blank.  You start talking in your head.  About how you just can’t pull it off.   Knowing (and already beating yourself…up) that you won’t be talking to her…though you’ll be pulling it…off…later, thinking about her.  (Wow, holy double entendre!)

In this video, ripped right out of my huge collection of training modules, learn some powerful tools to deal with this:

approach-anxiety

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If what I described is a problem for you, then your problems are about to be solved.  Gain the confidence, the skills, and the tools you need to effortlessly walk up to her, seduce her, and make her yours, anytime, anyplace, with Speed Seduction® 3.0.