Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Breaking up is hard to do.  If she’s someone you cared about deeply, you may feel hurt, crushed, there’s no one else in the world like her and things will never be the same. 

The last two points are true – she’s the only person like her, and things can’t possibly be the same.

Many students who attend my seminars and invest in my teaching use Speed Seduction® to get the girl, but find it hard to get moving with women again if things don’t work out and she gets ghost.

Remember: you have skills with women.  They helped you get together with her in the first place. And what you used the skills for once, you can use again and again.

Now, welcome to the world: we have pleasure and we cling to it and want it to continue. When it doesn’t, if we don’t know how to let go, we suffer.

Buddhists understand what are known as the Four Noble Truths.

And yes, right now it is painful and confusing. But remember, all pleasure comes to an end, sooner or later.

The shock and disbelief can be the most painful part.

On top of being sad and even angry that your pleasure with this girl is ending-the fun, companionship, emotional connection, sex, validation, etc-you now have:

1. Confusion. What went wrong?
2. Shock: it was unexpected
3. Anger – this is unfair for her to suddenly do this with no explanation.

So we see that many painful things are processing all at once. Any one of these things, by itself: sadness, shock, confusion, anger, desire for the pleasure to continue and frustration that it isn’t – any ONE of these would be difficult.

ALL of them piling up together feels overwhelming.

Yet, this is an incredible opportunity.  

Yes.  An opportunity for you to learn the difference between pain and suffering, desire and drivenness and fixation.

Can you learn to sit in meditation and experience each element, BY ITSELF, without fighting it or trying to change it and also without feeding it with your “story’ about how bad it is, how it shouldn’t be happening?

Can you turn suffering – all of these elements entangled and overwhelming – into simple pain? It can hurt but does it have to become who you are, block you from moving forward, or blind you to your sense of possibility and enjoying here and now?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. In Speed Seduction® 3.0, I show you how to use the principle of equanimity to leap-frog past approach anxiety and break through slumps WITHOUT pushing through pain.

P.P.S. 3.0 is the “home study” version.  You should really check out the live, in-person version (sign up now).

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Whenever I hear someone is in a relationship, my first question: is it a relationship, or a real-hate-shun-ship by default?

Before we go any further, let me be clear: if you’ve found that special someone, and it’s truly right for both of you, GOOD ON YOU!

However, about 50% of all marriages are doomed to divorce.  They say it’s because “values are changing” or “people don’t respect the sanctity of marriage anymore”, etc.  Whatever.

No. NOT true.

Why do guys stay in “real-hate-shun-ships by default?”

Here are some of the stunning reasons I’ve heard over the years, often from guys who otherwise seem to have life handled:

• “It’s cheaper to keep her.”  (He fears having to pay up in a divorce settlement, so he endures a living hell and possibly finding the REAL woman of his dreams, simply to avoid writing a check which might be his ticket to lifetime happiness.)
• “She was my high school sweetheart, and our families have been friends for generations.  It would upset a lot of people if we broke up.” (So, WHO ARE YOU MARRIED TO, pal???)
• “We stay together for the kids.” (Yeah, the kids who live in a miserable home because your real-hate-shun-ship ain’t workin’.  Kids DO see what’s going on.)
• “I was taught: you’re supposed to be married by the time you’re 30, and you have a responsibility to provide grandchildren for your parents.” (So, everyone in your family has ALWAYS been HAPPY and has made PRODUCTIVE CONTRIBUTIONS?)
• “Man, I’ve never had a girl as fine as she is.  And hey, nothing’s perfect.  I can deal with her spazzing out on me because I probably won’t find one THIS hot ever again.” (Correction: I calculate there are 34,000 women at least as hot as she is.)
• “Happiness is what they put in the movies.  This is REAL LIFE, Ross, not some fairy tale.  I don’t play games.” (No XBox for you, huh?)

Let me add: Speed Seduction® ain’t just about getting laid.  Want a girlfriend?  Looking for a wife?  Great!  Then use my teachings to cut through the bull***t “dating rituals” and “social programming” and you’re MORE LIKELY to find a life partner who will satisfy you in every way.  In fact, my teachings also help guys who are married and in relationships keep the “spark” burning hot.

Look: it’s your life.  You deserve the opportunity to create the results and the happiness with the women you truly desire.  Are you living a life of fulfillment, or a life by default?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Are you fed up having to settle for low quality, average women, or worse – being alone?  Well, if you CHOOSE to live a life by default, it really is your fault.  Because you don’t have to.  Click here for a solution that skips over the nonsense and gets you the women you REALLY want.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

All too often, I hear guys complain with a variation of this theme:

“I just wish I could find a girl who’s right for me. I’ve had so much bad luck with women that I don’t know if I’ll EVER find a woman I want to be with.”

Or, “I’m never going to have this much fun again with someone so hot ever again” (often uttered right after “losing” the “best” woman you’ve ever had, so you think).

Really, now?

Tell you what: let’s break down some numbers.

As of yesterday (April 9, 2010), the United States Census Bureau estimated there are 6,813,600,000 people on Planet Earth.

About half (or 3.4 BILLION) of them are women.

Now, let’s say that only 1 in 1,000 are available, within your age range, or otherwise Sargeable by you. You’ve still got 3.4 MILLION women.

And let’s assume, conservatively, that you can have chemistry with 1% of these women. All said and done, that leaves you 34,000 women who are available to you.

If you were to approach one woman per day until you approach all 34,000…that’s enough women for the next 93 YEARS.

Have you seen at least ONE hot woman today you could approach? Is there some hottie you’ve wanted to put the moves on, but you just haven’t brought yourself to do it yet?

Look up from above your computer monitor, if you’re in a public area, such as a coffee shop or other place where you’re using the public Wi-Fi. If you’re a student in a computer lab, same thing.

Is there at least ONE woman there, RIGHT NOW who looks like she might be worth saying hello to? If not, there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll see one within the next half hour.

Me, I like those odds. And if I don’t get anywhere with the next woman I meet (or claim my choice that I can do better and “Exit, Stage Left”), I’ve got DECADES worth of women who are still out there.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Now you know: almost 100 years’ worth of opportunity is available to you. The “right woman” for you IS there, you just haven’t let her know yet.

My Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course contains the girl-getting knowledge you’ll need to get the numbers working in your favor.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Almost every day I get e-mails and phone calls from students who have figured out how to overcome their fear with women. Oftentimes they don’t even know what caused it. Then they figure it out – and master it.

Please keep the emails coming. This is why I teach smart guys like you how to master your girl-getting game. Today, I’m going to let one of them do the talking. Here goes:

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Dear Ross, as a student of yours, I want to tell you how much Speed Seduction® has changed not just what I do, but my entire way of thinking about women.

Here’s the scoop:

Back when I was in college I had a “summer love” girlfriend. It was all romance and making out until I went back to school and she stayed back home. She cried when I went back to school and told me she planned to come visit me soon. For the next few weeks we’re emailing and calling every day, and then suddenly she goes cold on me. I found out, through a mutual friend, that she had dumped me and not bothered to tell me!

Next time I was home I saw her and (politely) confronted her. She told me she was sorry, not for what she did, but that I found out. She even outright said she was more upset that our friend had “ratted her out” to me than she was bothered that the whole thing hurt me in some way.

Back then I was what you call an “average frustrated chump” in ALL areas of my life. Even then, you’d think I’d realize this chick was messed up and needed help and that the best thing to do was drop it and move on. But I couldn’t “snap out” of my desire for / devotion to her. For months. I agonized over what I had done wrong. (Sounds crazy? SHE dumped ME without telling me, and I’m worried what I did wrong?????)

Right after she dumped me I had two women I saw every day who I could have had for the asking. I got along with them great and my flirting with them was reciprocated. One even asked “so when are you going to forget this b***h and make a move on me?” But I killed my chances by droning on about my “ex” until these two (and other) women got sick of me.

I was pathetic, obsessed over a chick who wanted nothing to do with me, 200 miles away, when I was at college with 20,000 women at my immediate disposal.

To an extent that I didn’t realize, this incident was a gusher of ice water that flowed like an eternal cold-shower on my ability to pick up chicks for the next 10 years. Several times I got lucky and met someone, but I made excuses and sabotaged things so I wouldn’t put myself at emotional risk again.

But then, after studying your teaching on conquering fear around women, I figured out I was driven by a need to “make right” the wrong that had been done to me by her. Being willfully cut off from even being able to participate in the “closure” made me to think about it all the time.

I translated that need for….closure? revenge? something else? into desire for her. It drained my emotional capacity. I’d be at parties surrounded by mind-blowing hot chicks and my mind would be skipping like a broken record on the “ex” who never deserved me at all. It was still happening years later, even after I was finally “over her,” but I was programmed that way so bad I didn’t even remember the cause.

After I realized what happened I was able to finally let her go, using what you teach. Now, I’m the kind of man who can be in a room full of people and can fearlessly approach the HOTTEST BABE THERE like it’s everyday routine. I liked your story about the student who snuggled with the married chick on the airplane. Stuff like that happens for me all the time now.

I’m still what you would call “single and looking” but I’m “finding” many more women, having great times with the nice ones and spotting the users and abusers immediately.

Thanks Ross! I think I’m gonna come to your next seminar!

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This is AWESOME – and I congratulate you on stepping up and claiming the success, results, and future that belong to you by getting past your barriers. What happened to you isn’t unique. The way we are programmed can stay with us long after the programmer (in your case, that girl who did you wrong) is out of the picture, and we don’t even remember why we got that way in the first place.

Now that you’ve gotten that chick who did you wrong out of your inner brain, keep showing up, and keep having great times with the women who do you RIGHT.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. One quick clarification. Stuff like hooking up with hot chicks on airplane rides doesn’t “happen to” this student all the time now. Rather, he’s mastered the girl-getting mindset and seduction skills needed to effortlessly and routinely MAKE it happen.

And so can you.

With what I teach you throughout my Speed Seduction® 3.0 System, you’ll remain calmly in control of every interaction and situation with women – even when she stomps on your heart and tries to make it YOUR fault somehow.

Click here to claim yours today!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Recently on my Twitter channel, someone asked me, “I just broke up with my girlfriend. How did you get over your break up so fast? Two years is a long time to date someone.”

Now in case you don’t know, this guy is talking about the fact that I recently ended my nearly two year relationship with the wonderful Swedish sweetheart, Pernilla. And I’m already out there sarging and having fun flexing my super-powers.

However, I have to correct what this guy said. I am NOT “over” it. In fact, I miss Pernilla dearly.

Does that sound strange to you? That a Seduction Guru-no, make that THE Seduction Guru-should miss his now ex-girlfriend?

Well, it shouldn’t. I never said you shouldn’t love a girl. Of course I’ve loved Pernilla. How could I not? She’s smart as hell, fun, sexy, sweet and very, very funny.

In fact, I miss her every day. And here is the key. Once I acknowledge that missing, I make a choice about what I am going to do with it.

So I don’t just say, “I miss Pernilla” although that’s true. I add something to it. What do I add? I add, “and, I claim my ownership and management of that missing to the point where I stay happy, focused, grounded and productive, continuing to draw awesome women into my life who love and please me sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically”.

Let’s parse over that huge mouthful for you a bit:

1. I don’t stop with the feelings. I don’t stuff them or fight them, but they are not the end of it and they aren’t what controls the situation. I start with them. I don’t end with them.
2. I add in my “and”. Not “but”. “AND”. Saying “and” acknowledges as true what comes before it as remaining true, but not the end of the story.
3. I then go on to use a powerful word: “claim”. That means I am making a choice from power, not reacting from pain. You could also use “choose” or even “create”. I like “claim”. As in claiming a prize, or claiming your car from the valet. (Note: I’m not saying that there isn’t pain. I’m saying I’m not reacting from it. Get the distinction?)
4. Then I go on to use two more powerful words: “ownership” and “management”. Now what does it mean to have “ownership” and to have “management”? These words indicate that I am in charge of my missing and that I am directing what I do with it. It opens the mind circuits to expand outwards and make some smart choices.
5. What’s next? “To the point where” This means that the ownership and management is directed to an outcome. It is going to produce something good for me.
6. Finally, a good, fairly specific description of the outcome. Note I don’t just talk about being happy and productive. I state what that is designed to do for me, what the outcome of that direction is: having more great women who please me. Please me how? I state the various ways. Being specific like this gives the mind even better directions on what to do with the thoughts and feelings to produce results in the world.

Now listen: in addition to this, I do my daily meditation practice. That really helps handle whatever raw feelings come up. I can watch them come and go, feel them, but not spin stories around them or buy into them or identify with them. I don’t suppress but I don’t identify either.

And that, my friends and students, is real power and choice. It is true emotional freedom that sets you free to live your world from the emotional truth and from choice into power.

You can learn to transmute your difficult thoughts and emotions into true freedom, power and choice right here.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Make no mistake: I still have some tough moments. I’ve loved Pernilla dearly, loved the great times we shared, and will always honor her as one of the best friends I have. She’s earned that love from me many times over.

P.P.S. It’s a good feeling to practice what I preach. What I practice and preach is right here.

P.P.P.S. As a person of integrity, I have to acknowledge that I learned this skill set of language mastery that I’m conveying here from the work of Robert Tennyson Stevens. I don’t like some of Bob’s “biblical” fascinations, but his work about consciouslly using language is unsurpassed. I recommend his Conscious Language CD course. You can find it at http://www.masterysystems.com. I absolutely hate it when people take or teach from my work without acknowledging their source, and I’ll be damned if I behave that way. So go check out Bob’s work for yourself, even if it costs me money, it’s the right thing to do.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

My success as a Seduction teacher is YOUR success. I am doing right by you when you take the principles I teach and apply them to their own situation.

If you’ve been out of the game for a while, going back and reviewing my material can jump-start your girl-getting game and have you making women dripping wet in no time.

Here’s a letter I just received from one of my students:

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Dear Ross,

I purchased your home study course a few years back but never really gave it the time it deserved – that is, until recently.

I got dumped by my girlfriend of three years a few months ago. I was really distraught and didn’t know what to do, so I pulled out your home study course and listened to it for a week straight. I began devouring everything I could about your principles, trying them out on all the women I met.

The first few times – nothing.

Then…I was with some friends when a beautiful brunette sat down next to me. After some small talk, I ran several patterns on her. Before you know it, SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT REALLY INTENSE BODY FEELINGS! So I amplify and make the feelings bigger and brighter. I fractionate for just a second, then transition into a “weasel phrase,” then I go into what I can remember from the BJ pattern and I finally get it! The doggy bowl dinner look!

By this time all my friends are gone and and she just leans over and kisses me! At that moment she stops and says: “Oh my G-D I have boyfriend! I have to go meet him right now”

Turns out the guy is a friend. Yes, I know I should have run the Boyfriend Destroyer, but I didn’t have it memorized. As she left, she said with a wink “thanks for making me have to go change my panties!”

Since then, I’ve been getting better and better at Speed Seduction®. I’m still learning, but I want to thank you for introducing me to a world of endless possibilities. You are a Genius-with a capital G!

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See, this is what it’s all about. When life throws you a curve ball, don’t go sit in the dugout. Go back to school, and get back on your girl-getting game.

Look – the women are waiting. What are you waiting for?

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. When this student hit a rough streak, he went back to school and sharpened his seduction tools. If you have my Home Study Course, you have everything he mentioned – the BJ pattern, weasel phrases, fractionation skills, the Boyfriend Destroyer – and so much more. Dust off the DVDs and get to it!

P.P.S. If you don’t yet have my Home Study Course, the only thing stopping you – is you. I have copies available for you. Get yours now:

http://www.seduction.com/blog/homestudy/