Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ever had it happen where a woman’s “talk” takes giant, behemoth strides… but her “walk” is more like her standing in place?

You find that most (if not) all the time, you are the one initiating any kissing or making out or making whoopee or making-what-have you.  Not only that, but half the time her reaction is more tepid than water that’s just been sitting in a cup on the table since last night.

Sometimes, it feels like she’s actually holding her mouth still while you’re trying to kiss her.

BUT: between meetings you get all kind of texts and voicemails and e-mails from her.  She tells you she can’t wait to get her hands on you, she’s going crazy thinking about you and what she’s going to do when she sees you next.  But when you do see her, she’s so reserved she might as well have a “RESERVED” sign on her.

So, you ponder and wonder…

… What’s Going On That’s Taking Away Her Playful Thunder?

Let me preface by saying: a woman’s current response should rarely be taken as her final decision or answer.  It’s a response to what’s going on with her (emotionally, environmentally, and elsewise-ally) AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

It’s also possible, especially when there are many moments like these, that she doesn’t have much experience with men and is trying out some new ways of talking, if not acting, with you.

Also, she’s conflicted: she would like to be more emotionally intimate, in theory, but in fact, in the flesh, it scares her.

Sort of like a guy who would LOVE to approach and pick up a hot girl but he’s scared, so his behavior is contradictory. He takes a few steps towards her and then veers off.

Here’s the thing…

She wants to “go there”.  Many a time, she’s gazed longingly upon the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle wanting to have a little “lift off”.  But she just can’t quite figure out how to get to the station.  That’s where YOU come in.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Having the skills and confidence to stimulate any woman’s subconscious sexual triggers using your words is one of the best skills in the world to have because it will give you complete seduction mastery even over the choosiest (or shyest) women. Click here to learn how you, too, can have it…

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Another aspect of showing up attractive is learning to develop a good relationship to uncertainty, anxiety, and not knowing what the fuck is going to happen.

Many guys come to me wanting “confidence” with women. But what they are really saying is they want what I call “performance confidence”.

What is “performance confidence”?  That’s easy to explain.

If you’ve done something very well 5,000 times, it is reasonable to expect you will do well on the 5,001st attempt.

The challenge for many guys in this game is that they want the performance confidence, PRIOR to doing any performing.

So they wind up never performing, never being confident and never getting any real world skill.

Or any moist pink relief either.

Love Your Anxiety As You Love Yourself, And Soon You Will Be Loving Your Neighbor’s Wife Too!

The solution I’ve found that works best is to reshape a student’s definition of “confidence” into what I will define here as “acceptance confidence”.

Acceptance  confidence has the following components:

1. The skill of being present with the raw, physical sensations of anxiety, without fighting them, resisting them or trying to make them change or go away, but also and equally without feeding them by telling yourself that your anxious feelings mean you are going to fail or it is time to run away.  Don’t feed, don’t fight AND don’t flee!

(Let me just add that very few humans can be present with raw physical sensations like this. It takes training and practice. But it opens up some wonderful choices in life that few people will ever experience and that alone makes you very, very attractive on some interesting and non-verbal levels. More about this later)

2. The skill of deciding what you are going to do, once you experience the anxiety, without fighting or feeding or fleeing.  It basically comes down to a simple acknowledgment of what is going on and then a choice . As in, “I don’t know what is going to happen with this girl, I don’t like that I don’t know, and let’s go talk to her, have some fun, and find out what she is like!”

3. A deep realization about the meaning  and information content of “anxiety”.   Your experience of internal anxiety has zero information value about what will happen with that girl you’d like to meet. It is not a sign you are about to fail or be humiliated in the world. It has no information value about anything happening outside of your own skin. It is only a sign of an internal neurological event.

4. Finally, taking on some powerful beliefs and attitudes about learning.   Since I’m such an awesome teacher, here are the main ones:

A. I will either enjoy getting what I want, or enjoying learning what I need to get what I want or better.

B. I can, will and do decide what I learn from each and every event, choice, action and situation.

C. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

D. When I don’t know what to do, I make the choice and take the action that moves me even closer to the kind of person I am already more and more becoming

Once a student has mastered, in action, the essentials of acceptance confidence, then and only then is he ready to take on rehearsal confidence, another key component of showing up attractive. And I’ll probably talk about that in the next post.

Your comments and feedback are essential to this series continuing. So please post them below!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If enjoying damn near ridiculous levels of success, satisfaction and pleasure with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then clicking here could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It’s an oft-told story…

Boy meets Girl in an “everyday” setting.

Girl smiles and giggles oh-so-cute and Boy sees the door open and beckoning.

Boy strikes up a little convo.  Girl’s answer to his innocent-yet-obviously-leading question (the one where he asks her out without actually f@@king ASKING) leaves him stumped even though it’s plain-as-daylight stuff.

Let’s hear from a student who felt like he just got “traded down to the minors” off such a seemingly innocent response:

The other day, I went to a local clothing store because I needed to pick up a couple things.  I was greeted by a cute, bubbly sales associate.  I said hi and bought a belt and a few other things (I was there for that in the first place).  I commented on her style, then I left.  But – as if opportunity was raining down from heaven, I had forgotten my cell phone, so I went back and said I lost it!

She asked for my number so we could call it and hear it ring.  Lo and behold, it fell off while I was trying on the belt and landed under a rack with fall jackets on it.  Heard it ring and picked it up.  Then I asked where she lived, and her name, and if she had plans for the evening.  She said she was going to relax at her place.

I didn’t know what to say, so I left (with her phone number, and her name). She seemed interested in me, and I was wondering what I could do to get in contact with her, and get her to meet me. Can you help me?

Let me start with the Captain Obvious answer: call her and and f@@king ask her out.

Don’t try to figure out if she really seemed interested… or just being all cute and flirty to loosen up your wallet by tightening up your Johnson (something that, uh, RARELY happens in the real world and is, uh, NEVER done on purpose).  Besides, your memory of actual events is probably distorted by now over hot you think she is… and how hot you wish, hope, and pray she was FOR YOU.

But think about what you’re asking her (or the next woman, when you go back for cuff links):

You asked where she lived (which DOESN’T MATTER until you go back to her place for some EEE-RRR-EEE-RRR), her name (was she wearing a nametag, as a sales associate in a retail store?), and what she was doing tonight (other than breathing and eventually sleeping?)

Were THESE the questions she was being called upon to answer while sidelined from making money so she can pay her rent?  What did her responses tell you about her “vibe” and what inspires her, so you could use it to anchor her emotions and get her excited and irresistibly aroused at-will?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Sick and tired of letting opportunities with sexy, beautiful women pass right by while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to close the deal with them?  The solutions to such quandries can be found right here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

There’s a song by Eddie Money that goes “I wanna go back, and do it all over…but I can’t go back…” Actually, this raises a good question.  CAN you go back?

Maybe there’s a hottie from your past whose “friend zone” you got caught in, or she’s that former classmate you didn’t (at the time) have the balls to pass a “love note” to.

Maybe she’s a former co-worker you seriously had the hots for, but you didn’t want to dip your ink pen in the company well.  You don’t work there anymore and she still writes on your Facebook wall from time to time… and (per her latest profile pic, anyway) she’s still as hot as she was back when you couldn’t focus on your work for an hour after she walked by your desk, with a current “status” of “Single” to boot.

Or maybe she’s someone who rejected you, and you totally blew it (or you rejected yourself by never making a move) and….ohhh…if ONLY she could experience the new, Sargy you….what could happen?

No matter what, she’s on your mind.  A lot.  So the question becomes…

Can You Bring This One Back To Life…
Or Is It Time To Move On?

Well you have two choices. 

Choice one, stop fretting and make your move.

Or, you can CHOOSE to change your feelings about the girl.

Actually, as I look at this, the reason you think about her is you invested lots of feeling in the girl PRIOR to even making out with her, much less f@@king her.

Now listen, and listen up: Speed Seduction® isn’t just about the words you use to f@@k chicks, although, bless Sargy, that is a big part of it. It’s also about a different understanding about how the “feelings” process works.

In this case, your “feelings” for the girl didn’t just enter into your body like an arrow shot by Cupid in your ass.

No, you SELF-HYPNOTIZED yourself into the girl.

I’ll bet dollars to dildos you did this by daydreaming about her, fantasizing about this salacious co-worker throwing herself on your desk and cooing “Hey big guy, I thought we were scheduled for a ‘staff’ meeting…here it is… (looks at watch)…. about six after nine in the morning… we have some ‘hard topics’ to cover…”

In the case of the chick you “blew it” with… you replay it in your mind, except you imagine the version where you didn’t trip on your Johnson or whatever else happened that things didn’t progress.

Please use this as a lesson on what NOT to do, first and foremost.

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first serious physical pass, so you don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER you’ve taken a ride on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle and experienced “blast-off”.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to meet them?  Knowing later on, you’ll WISH it had been otherwise?  Click here to learn how to make it happen THIS time, instead of (in your mind) later….

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Another so-called “axiom” that I can’t STAND… yet another example of how smart men nonetheless get socially programmed into Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) is this:

“Nice guys finish last.”

So, if I’m following this, women claim (as reinforced by the romance industry) that women want sweet, sensitive, NICE guys… because they, too, are programmed that they’re “supposed” to… but deep down, they want a “bad boy” or even a “jerk” because supposedly they’re more “exciting.”

People: you can’t have it both ways.

For this one student of mine, being a “bad boy” does not come naturally to him.  He’s charming, and he’s got girl-getting game.  But he thinks something’s “missing” – namely, that “bad boy” persona that he is convinced is the cooter-soaking “cinch” that will have him beating off the babes with a stick…as opposed to…well…you get the picture.

Here’s where this student thinks he’s stuck…

What happens in my own seduction process is that sooner or later, something happens and women decide I fall in the “nice guy” category. I don’t do the “AFC” thing – I do not attach excess meaning to any one woman I’m sarging.  I don’t put up with games or nonsense, and I clearly position myself as “the prize” (limited availability).

Some reason though I end up as the guy they want as the “boyfriend” and not the fling.  So bottom line, women tend to take more time before hopping in the sack with me because they see me as “boyfriend material” rather than a “disposable fling.”  Maybe if I was more of a “bad boy,” the woman would show me her “bad girl” side.

Wow. So women think you’re a prize catch?  What a terrible problem to have!

Seriously though, I think there are ways to approach this without having to reinvent yourself as a character from an early Marlon Brando movie.

Perhaps you simply need to better structure her expectations from the beginning.  As in, not seeing her more than once a week (instead of “always being there”). Not allowing yourself to be available for large chunks of time (so she sees you as a “prize” she needs to work for, rather than the doormat who’s always on her front step). Or, simply, better screening to find women who really are only looking for flings, if that’s what you want.

Or you may just have to stop being such a champ in the sack that she decides you MUST be a “keeper” and tries to hoard you for herself, ONLY!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. It’s true both ways: “bad boys” can’t pull off a “nice guy” act anywhere as convincingly as a genuine Nice Guy.  What if, instead of trying to be something you’re not, you had a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone?  Click here to learn how to get it, starting now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

One of the biggest discussions in the “PUA” community is about being “Alpha” or “dominant”.

As I’ve said before, when you are seeking answers from “experts” beware of answers that are half true or incomplete.

In this video, I go into what it means to be dominant, as contrasted with abusive or domineering. Also take note of the responses of the female volunteer and notice how I am very subtle in my dominance.

Watch the video then tell me what you think:

demodominanceblogpost

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you missed the NYC Seminar, you have a chance to join us in London on August 13-15.  Can you make it?  Click here to learn more.

P.P.S. With what I teach you throughout my Speed Seduction® 3.0 System, you’ll remain calmly in control as the effortless seduction architect of every interaction and situation.

It will give YOU all the confidence of a man who maintains control and exudes a dominance that women find appealing.

Claim yours and take charge of your girl-getting game today!

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Fans of the long-running TV show, M*A*S*H, will remember the exciting girl-getting exploits of camp ladies’ man, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly.

Yes. Really. Radar.

The short, nearsighted, naive, teddy-bear-hugging, comic-book-reading, not-all-that-handsome farmboy from Ottumwa, Iowa. Radar.

You think I’m kidding? You think I’ve lost it?  Let’s go through the exhibits, and I’ll briefly recap what happened and share my feedback where I can.

(NOTE: All images are screen captures and are copyright to Twentieth Century Fox.  They are presented here as illustrations for a research project only.  I strongly urge you to support the actors by purchasing the DVDs, all of which are available for sale on leading retailers like Amazon.)

Here we see Radar, who has been studying up on Bach and Tolstoy to impress a highly cultured new nurse.  While he utilized his girl-getting game as an opportunity to expand his overall horizons, he was doing it to impress the girl – not good.  In the end, he got so bored with the seduction he fell asleep during dinner.  (There is no shortage of women, nor are there a shortage of women for YOU.  Don’t “settle.”)

There’s an unexploded bomb in the compound, and Radar encounters a bombshell of a nurse who has other forms of “explosion” on her mind.  He tries to wink at her, and for the effort, she takes him off to the supply tent.  A fine example of frame control, resetting the mood, and redirecting her energies in a Sargy sort of way.  Well played.

Radar was shy around this nurse who loved poetry.  He came over to her tent one night to share a book of poems, and she pounced on him like a tigress in heat.  Turns out she thought his shyness around her was him being a “heartbreaker” and “playing hard-to-get.”  Question: what women do you know might need just a nudge to pounce on YOU?

There are several scenes where this particular nurse comes onto Radar.  Sometimes he knows what to do and they dance or make out…sometimes he blows it.  I would ask, what would he need to get his game “on tap” so he can draw from it at-will?

Not his finest hour.  This Korean woman claimed (falsely) that Radar fathered her baby.  Sick of being teased by the likes of Hawkeye, Trapper, and Frank, Radar, in turn, falsely claims responsibility.  (Good thing Hawkeye had the blood test results in-hand to bail Radar out!)

But, two minutes later, the same giggly, flirty nurse from two shots up encounters Radar by chance.  Very excited to see him, she asks him out and he accepts.  Hawkeye recommends Radar wear the paratrooper scarf that seems to drive women wild.  Radar thinks about it.  (Awareness of your “style” that drives women crazy for you – and into your bed – is a critical factor.)

This nurse is fed up with Radar dropping off the mail and shuttering out the door. Her exact words: “When are you going to make a REAL delivery?” He resists because she outranks him.  (However, he soon gets accidentally promoted.  She then REJECTS him because she prefers the “underdog”)….

….However, once the mistake is corrected and he’s restored to Corporal, Radar drops off that package she was asking about earlier.  (Lesson: it’s who you ARE that is more likely to attract women NOW, than who you WISH you were.)

Radar spent an entire episode being shy, trying to figure out how to get this new nurse to notice him and using half-assed pick-up lines to attempt conversation.  Turns out, the whole time her eyes were wide open to what he offered.  All he had to to was tell her he was interested! Here you see him at the officers’ club with the “prettiest girl in camp.”  SCORE!

Radar’s on his way back to the 4-0-Double-7 when he encounters this sizzling hot farmgirl who grew up not too far from him.  If this is an indicator, I bet when he got discharged, his homecoming was pretty sweet.  (Gee, how many double entendres are in THAT sentence?)

Here’s the thing.  If Radar can do it, so can you.  Over and out.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. When Radar needed mentoring and guidance on how to work it with the ladies, who did he turn to?  Hawkeye, whose own girl-getting game was par excellence.  We learn from those who have succeeded before us.

P.S. Would you like 20 years’ of cutting-edge, it-doesn’t-get-any-better-than-that teaching on your side and in your corner?  Click here to see what would have gotten Radar TWICE the women, had it been invented back in 1951.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

The dreck that’s pumped out into the mass media by the “romance industry” would have you thinking you have to look like a movie star, sing like a rock star, be chiseled like an Olympic star, and have enough money to take a space shuttle ride to an actual star, to get the babes you really want.

This is why so many guys resort to the 5 Bs – bullying, begging, buying, BS, and booze.  And also why many guys put off their girl-getting game for years while they hunker down in the gym building the “sixth B” – biceps.

Frankly, it has me SEEING stars.

Look: I’ve taught thousands of guys how to apply Speed Seduction® to cut through the “dating game” and score with women who, up till now, you thought would never give you the f@@king time of day.  I practice what I preach and… I’m 51, lanky and ugly as sin dipped in shit and I am never hard-up for women.

But it wasn’t always this way.

Where do you think I was when I started all of this, 22 years ago?

1. Living at home, moved back with my parents at age of 29.
2. Uglier than sin dipped in shit. (Age has only made me SLIGHTLY more graceful.)
3. NO money.
4. Driving a beat up Datsun b210 with NO f@@kin’ paint job left to speak of.

Didn’t stop me, though.

Chances are, things are “less than perfect” with you.  So f@@king what?

Let me ask one question: what would it be like if it just so happens that “one thing” about yourself you really don’t like, happens to be THE thing that gets many women hot… but you didn’t know because you didn’t take charge, fire up your girl-getting game, and FIND OUT?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Fed up having to settle for low quality, average women, or worse being alone?  Sick and tired of getting rejected, ignored, humiliated, overlooked, shut down or standing there frozen and speechless by beautiful women?

All that stops, starting now.  Click here to find out how…

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

All human beings experience a fair amount of self-doubt from time to time.  Especially when it comes to approaching women.

Ever found yourself ten feet away from a chick who was the best looking babe you’d seen all year (or at least all week), there all by herself in the cafe reading a book, looking like she’d probably like it (or at least wouldn’t slap you silly) if you went up to her right now. 

But you don’t do it.

Instead, you have this endless, pointless conversation in your head and find any excuse to avoid putting yourself out there.

Eventually she pays the check, closes the book, and walks out. 

Whew – at least you didn’t get rejected. By her at least.  You just want to…

…Tell Your Doubting Voice To “Shut Up Already”
So You Can Get Some Action

Here’s the difference between a Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training (MIT) vs. the Average Frustrated Chump (AFCs): the MIT has learned to recognize when the “doubt delay dialogue” is happening (or about to happen), and stops those feelings dead in their tracks.

How do YOU Get this?

You see, developing a “monitoring” state or awareness that checks in and recognizes when you are beginning to have less than useful responses; THIS awareness is a great gift. It’s quite magickal.

You see, NO ONE is in a good state ALL the time. That’s not what we want to aim at.

What we DO want to aim at is knowing our own unique patterns of thinking, feeling, acting and being able to recognize quickly when we are going in a less than useful way; interrupt it effectively, and get back on track.

This skill isn’t very sexy; it’s not like being able to levitate, turn invisible or walk through a wall. But it is very, VERY powerful.

I’ll tell you what IS sexy: the results.  It’s sexy when she puts that book aside and turns to you, and you use the vibe as a down payment for an all-expenses-paid-for-two journey on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Quieting the rancor of self-doubt is based on a belief: that your feelings and thoughts and responses CAN be put in your awareness and CAN be brought under a good measure of direction and control. And it’s based on a value that doing so is VALUABLE, even necessary.  Click here to learn what gets you this awareness and control…