Archive for the ‘fear of making a move’ Category

Untangling Your Deepest Fears With Women: What’s Stopping You?

Posted by Ross Jeffries on August 16th, 2011

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

[This is "Part 2" that follows up on my recent post "Untangling Your Deepest Fears With Women: A Farming Analogy"]

We left off last time with a question: what can you do to start “unpacking” this great big ball of less than useful energy-to pull out the individual strands and then convert them to USEFUL energy, a very attractive USEFUL vibe that will have these women wanting you NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR DO?

As with any personal change, there are the tools like guided visualization, belief change, personal coaching/group feedback, setting goals, etc.

All of these have value. All are useful. Some more than others, and for each of these, I’ve got modifications to the more standard stuff out there that I think makes my versions far more useful and effective.

However, I believe that when a person is “entrenched” in limiting and engraved ways of thinking, feeling, responding and acting, what is first and foremost needed is some “mental spaciousness”.  A place of clear, unprogrammed awareness and calm from which to use all the other tools and do all the other change work.

In any area of change there are those processes/things that:

1. Need to be subtracted out. They just don’t serve at all. They are just “noise” in the line.

These could be:

a) internal dialog that gets in your way
b) beliefs about yourself that are useless and contain no real information (I am ugly, I always fail)
c) energetic overloads-you are so amped up around women that you can’t hold still. (These can also be diminished or transmuted).

2. Things/processes that need to be added in. These could be:

a) simple skill sets (knowing how to physically make moves on women, knowing how to elicit trance words, do walkups, etc)

b) beliefs that power the skill sets, (I never take a woman’s first response to me as written in stone; it’s just a reflection of what she is thinking, feeling or responding in THAT moment, and it’s always subject to change).

c) different mixes of energy/vibe: strong, playful, intuitive, sincere, challenging. In other words, it could be an issue on the vibrational/energetic level.

d) simply doing more repetitions: some people just need to do more of what is working. They need self-monitoring/motivation skills.

e) skills for learning from mistakes without getting stuck back in them and having an INFORMED enthusiasm. (I’ve developed a protocol for this that is truly amazing-I call it “The Extractor”.

3. Processes/things which need to be increased. That could be any of what I’ve just mentioned in 2. Things which you already do well, that contribute to your success, that already work. The increase could be in frequency, or intensity, or precision or even joy of use!

4. Those things which are useful, but need to be diminished, either in frequency or intensity, or only used in the right sequence or correct proportions with other things, or used in the right context.

Again, that could be any of the items in #2 or anything else that actually is useful that the person already does that can serve in the right
proportion or context. So you could diminish the frequency, intensity, etc.

5. Finally, there are those things which represent great sources of mental energy that neither should be diminished or eliminated, but instead transmuted and refined and then used as pure energy for the achievement of 1-4.

Note: I did NOT say “clearing”. Clearing is better than having them blocking, but transmuting takes all that energy and puts it to use.

Just imagine if all or 90% of the energy/emotion that has been weighing you down, blocking you, enfearing you, were converted to raw energy for your peace of mind, joy, discipline, creativity, etc.

Now, the women are waiting.  What, in the name of Tammy’s tights, are you waiting FOR?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, again, and again: Speed Seduction® is much more than memorizing pick-up lines.  It’s an entire way of thinking, acting, feeling, being, that gets you the success you’ve always wanted with the women you truly desire.

For more than 50+ hours of the latest and greatest, dive in to my Speed Seduction® Total Immersion 2011 Seminar Footage Collection NOW.

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When Fear Stops You Dead In Your Tracks In Front Of A Woman

Posted by Ross Jeffries on December 26th, 2009
 When Fear Stops You Dead In Your Tracks In Front Of A Woman

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Have you experienced the feeling of knowing exactly what to do or say when you envision yourself powerfully commanding and mastering any life situation in your mind… but when you’re actually in the situation, you freeze up, “forget your lines,” and take no action at all because you suddenly have no idea what to do?

fotolia 1599527 small When Fear Stops You Dead In Your Tracks In Front Of A WomanNot too long ago, I got a note from a student who can easily envision what happens when he walks up to women and then gets them all hot and bothered for him.

But when he is out in public surrounded by approachable hotties who have not yet had the chance to say YES to who he is and what he gives to the world, he feels afraid and can’t get himself moving and talking to women in the real world.

Here’s my answer:

I think the problem here is you are imagining a MOUNTAIN of work and meaning rolled into one small action (the Sarge).

In other words, I think every time you see a woman you want, you approach it on the basis of your ENTIRE GIRL-GETTING GAME being on the line. Thus, simply going up and talking to her becomes (for you) one huge, massive, impossible and measureless labor.

What if you just viewed her as ONE girl? ONE chance to learn one small piece of a skill?

I think what you are experiencing is NOT fear. It’s OVERWHELM.

When you were a baby and learning to walk, you didn’t stack all that meaning on ONE step, did you? You took it one step at a time.

Also, you are hanging to certainty. Rather than accept that you simply don’t know what her response will be, you cling to the certainty that she WILL reject you!

It’s funny: humans would rather project the CERTAINTY of failure and pain, rather than embrace the uncertainty of NOT knowing!

Rather than aiming at confidence, try aiming at neutrality. Neutrality doesn’t mean projecting that you KNOW you can do it and you KNOW she will drop to her knees and blow you.

Neutrality means sticking to facts:

  1. I don’t know what is going to happen.
  2. I don’t like that I don’t know.
  3. Let’s go find out and see; maybe I will have fun and I CERTAINLY will learn SOMETHING.

Even if you learn that it was harder than you thought, that STILL is a learning that you can use to change. Or you might learn that your feet feel really good when you walk up. Or you might learn that ONE part of your body actually can relax and feel good while all the rest feels shaky!

You can ALWAYS, ALWAYS learn something.

Fact is, you don’t know WHAT you will learn.

But you CAN be certain about one thing: If you don’t get moving, you certainly WILL remain frustrated and alone! I GUARANTEE THAT!

So maybe you ought to trade that GUARANTEE for some uncertainty and see what you can learn. ONE STEP AT A TIME. Because you only learn ONE STEP AT A TIME ANYWAY! So take a step and learn whatever.

Remember: one step forward in your Sarge is one step forward toward getting laid. Stand still and you won’t get closer to getting laid; take a step and who knows – that might put you in front of the scandalously sexy babe who has been wondering when you would finally get around to making your move.

If you ask me, that sure beats a poke in the eye!

Peace and piece,

RJ

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Use this opportunity as the “kick in the a##” that gets you from uncertainty to taking action – investing in whatever Speed Seduction® product best fits your needs to help you take that next step forward toward success with women.

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With what I teach you throughout the 7 DVDs and 11 CDS, you’ll remain calmly in control of every interaction and situation with women, even when you’re not 100% sure of the exact right answer to THAT situation.

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Click Here To Download Now!