Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Sometimes what gets ignored in our search for success with women is who we are and what we are bringing into the interaction.

Someone once said, “A monkey in a silk suit is still a monkey”.

This understanding is why Speed Seduction® isn’t just about the language tools with women, but how we can clean up our own pain and confusion so what we bring into the interactions as men is already a lot more attractive and fun before we even say a word.

Here is an interaction I just had, by email, with a student who was missing that point.

> Hi Ross,
>
> I first read the game in December of 2009. Up until that point, I had only had one girlfriend and had only slept with one woman (The same person… By the way, I didn’t even particularly like her!).
>
> Having come from a massively dysfunctional family, I had hugely overwhelming issues with social situations, especially involving women. I had desperately  wanted to find a girlfriend from a very early age, but just couldn’t do anything right. I always came across as needy, desperate and too keen.
>
> This year, I have been getting steadily better, but have still suffered some pretty devastating situations. Despite all the things I grew up with, I have  managed to make a fair go in certain areas of my life. I have become a very accomplished musician, I have a decent job, I drive a nice car etc, but all this stuff seems worthless without someone to share it with. Even though I have made some good advances with myself, I am still suffering massively in the area of women. I have certainly improved with them, but my abilities to communicate still simply suck!
>
> To cut a long story short, I bought your home study course. I went over it with a fine tooth comb, but I just can’t seem to make it work. I see other guys using it brilliantly, I see you blazing a trail with it, yet I just can’t seem to make it work! I’ve even got some of the other DVDs, such as Gold Walkups and a couple of other that were included as part of a package deal at the time. I’m not a bad looking guy and without sounding big headed, I’m pretty intelligent with it. I just don’t know where I’m going wrong and I am totally at my wits end! It’s even reached the point where I have considered flying out to the US to come and have a one on one with you, but I know I need to use my money to buy some property next year.
>
> I’m desperate, Ross and I know you’re a man with answers. I know your stuff works, otherwise I wouldn”t have paid for it.
>
> What can I do?
>
> B
>

B,

I think your question contains its own answer.

What we bring into even the very best technology for dealing with others, will effect how we apply that technology and the results we get.

Some people just come into this “game” with more pain, more unconscious patterns that get in the way, more confusion etc than others. All humans have some pain and confusion-that is the human condition. But some of us (as I did too) come with more pain from dysfunctional families and even a genetic load that  predisposes us to be more anxious than others.

The good news:

Remember Speed Seduction® isn’t just about the technology for dealing with women successfully. It’s also about technology for cleaning up who WE are and  what we bring forward into our interactions with women AS we use the language patterns, etc.

There is plenty in SS to deal with this.  I suggest the Nail Your Inner Game program, or even more precisely, my Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection.  This  is the past 2 years recorded content from my coaching program and contains modules for dealing with the emotional and other issues that you are bringing  forward into what you do.

You deserve a shot at having a clean slate.  NYIG and the Training collection will do that for you.

If you feel you want to work with me personally, try the Coaching Program. You get immediate access to all the vault content (but not organized by subject, as the Vault is – in the Coaching Program you have it organized by each month I create it), plus you get to talk with me live 4 times a month. Twice on a group phone bridge, once on my personal cell phone, and once by live group video conferencing.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. One more thought – if you’d like to experience 3 full days of immersion training with me, consider attending one of our live seminars – we have numerous dates throughout the year and numerous locations throughout the world.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Here are a few worn-out, wasted, and woe-begone cliches you’ve probably heard before.

“Men and women must be in love before they have sex.” “Women will most likely have sex on the third date, but will not decide if they love him for another 6 months, because they believe love takes time.” (Is this why the “third date” is assigned so much importance?)

As you continue to master your girl-getting game and achieve more and more tight trim triumph… as you peel away the layers of doubt and beliefs that haven’t served you… please get this; discovering your false and limiting beliefs ARE GAINS!!!

As you see what actually works with women in the world, you cannot help having your old beliefs challenged and changed. As you change and challenge your old beliefs, you cannot help but make progress in the field.

This is what makes Speed Seduction® unique and special: it requires you deeply re-examine how you think about women, what attracts them, and indeed, what “attraction”, “love” “desire” really are, as PROCESSES with a structure, sequence, flow, movement etc.

Well, my belief is that you can NOT have a truly “loving” relationship WITHOUT sex. So there.

Forget about such stupid generalities as the “all important third date” and other calls to mastur-wait-ion. Those who preach these ideas base them on THEIR limits.  Just because THEY need to go on “dates” and follow the “rules” to get the chick in bed, YOU should too.  That’s how they’d have it.

I’ve had women “fall in love” with me in 20 minutes. Some never do.

Look, the real issue is: will doing as OTHERS say help YOU go where you need to?

What is the process – the methodology – by which YOU will discover what works and what is true? Do you really need written reassurances or can you move through some uncertainty with a determination to FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF WHAT WORKS?

Do you see my point? The real value is asking a better question than “when will women have sex or fall in love?”

The better question is, “How do YOU find out what is true and real, for yourself? And how do you handle the uncertainty of looking? Can you convert into excitement, curiosity, playful determination?”

More and more I am convinced that my job as a master teacher is NOT to answer the question the student asks. 70% of the time it is redirecting the student to ask the much more useful question or questions that they aren’t even thinking to ask.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. You can get some progress just by mindless imitation; but deep change and huge sastisfaction / suck-sex requires you change the filters and beliefs through which you address the world of women.  The best way to do this is twofold – reprogram the belief mentally and through ritual.  Explore my Nail Your Inner Game and Magick/Psychic Influence courses.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

When things don’t quite go your way…when you strike out with every woman you meet today (or all week long), when you feel hurt, it is natural to want to protect yourself.

It triggers off a “one-two-three-four” thought process…

• Why did this happen to me?
• This is ALWAYS going to happen to me.
• This ONLY happens to me.
• This happened because of something I did wrong.

The easiest way to protect yourself : don’t put yourself out there. Don’t approach any more women, ever.  Never Sarge.  When a woman throws herself at you, rather than run the risk she might not be THE ONE, just forget the possibility that it might be the best fucking lay you’ve ever had.  Rosie and her sisters are always there, anyway.  Right?

Wrong Song, Mr. Strong…

Newsflash: every person experiences fear, sorrow and hesitation and backsliding, suffering and restriction.

No need to feel bad about it, as the song says “Everybody hurts, sometime.”

Let’s see if we can oppose these lies with more neutral ideas. Let’s return you to neutrality before we aim to return you to other aspects of power.

Somewhere, somehow, you have some very vague representation of handling this better and want to find a better model for handling this.

All of the above are TRUE statements, no drama, no extra weight in that baggage.

Now, let’s tackle the lies and other less than useful things:

1. Why did this happen to me? Wrong question. Focuses your mind on what went wrong and your “failures”. Better question: what can I do to prevent this kind of thing from happening again without zapping my zest for life and openness to new adventures? If not, how can I now best view this as the worthwhile price to pay for having an open mind and life?
2. This is ALWAYS going to happen to me. Unlikely, if you learn what you need to. People can always change their feelings, that is true, but so can you. If someone can change their loving feelings for you because of your behavior then why can’t you change your negative feelings about yourself because of NEW behavior? Hmmmm… Change does and will happen. It’s how you choose to handle it. No guarantees on this rotating mudball other than naked baby in, stop breathing to leave.
3. This ONLY happens to me. Horseshit. Read “Dear Abby”. Watch Oprah. She had this guy on whose fiance called off the wedding 5 hours before it was supposed to go on. He wound up writing a book called Honeymoon with My Brother. Best thing that ever happened to him.
4. This happened because of something I did wrong. Here is a tricky one as it IS possible that some old patterns of emotional response or old patterns of behavior reared up and kept you from having the kinds of responses that would have kept you more in the drivers seat.

In which case, THIS GIRL WHO JUST DISSED YOU IS A GREAT SPIRITUAL GURU AND TEACHER HERE TO SLAP YOU AWAKE WITH THE PAIN SO YOU CAN SEE THESE PATTERNS AND RESOLVE THEM.

Look, what you did “wrong” isn’t the entire contents in the book of your life. They are just “markers” to show you what needs to be read and re-written.

ANYTHING THAT COMES UP COMES UP TO BE LEARNED FROM, HANDLED, PURIFIED, REFINED, RECYCLED, TRANSMUTED, RELEASED towards the vision of whom you everyday are more and more becoming.

So…find a place of objective, clear, grounded clarity to view what happened and find the patterns where you would like more power and choice.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Actually, I have two suggestions to help you with this, depending where you are.  One is my Nail Your Inner Game system.  The other is my classic course, Beyond Confidence.   Check them out.

Oh, and if you want to beat the one-two-three-four get them both and save 15% on today’s investment, just click here for a special discount link.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

This video is a clip from an interview I did with a German PUA site.

I’ll post a few more over the coming days.

Tell me what you think….

rjonapproachanxiety

Piece and peace,

RJ

P.S. My new 3-Day seminar schedule for 2011 is up! I’m coming to LA, Chicago, New York City, Germany, Denmark, England, Canada and Australia!

P.P.S. Looking for seduction teaching-in-a-box that you can practice at home?  You’ll want to click here to grab your copy of Speed Seduction® 3.0.  (Visit the seminar webpage to learn how, when you register for a 3-day seminar today, you can get 50% off Speed Seduction 3.0.)

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

When we consider the concept of “charisma”, there are two elements I often point out – particularly when they find themselves rehearsing their lines or what they’re going to say when they approach a woman.

These are: a) stepping into the unknown and b) holding space for the other person to have whatever initial response they are going to have.

A student asked me whether that means “surrendering” to the unknown (a), and making yourself vulnerable of being open to receive (b).

He was close, but here is the true meaning. If you’re feeling the need to “rehearse” or play it in your mind 100 times before just walking up to her, consider this…

1) Stepping into the unknown and being truly ok without having to know ahead of time what is going to happen. You accept that you don’t know, and maybe at first that you don’t like that you don’t know, but you don’t dramatize it or spin around it.

You just don’t know. And you decide to move forward anyway.

2)  By hold space I mean:

• It’s ok for them to have their FIRST response. You don’t take their FIRST response as being their final response.
• You don’t REQUIRE their permission OR their support for your new moves and your courageous action.

A lot of guys think that a woman OWES it to them to be polite open because the guy is willing to take the “risk” to go up and meet them/talk to them first.

Well, that attitude is bullshit. The woman hasn’t signed a contract saying that she is REQUIRED to support you in your efforts to improve your sex/love/social life.

You’re stepping forward because it is what YOU , as an adult, have chosen to do and because you are determined(DETERMINED) to bust through your limitations.

Now, can you be determined AND relaxed AND even have a sense of humor about it?

You can if you know how to untangle yourself.

Let me clarify one more thing: just because you don’t REQUIRE certainty or REQUIRE the other person to have a “good response” and be supportive doesn’t mean you don’t take those things as being good or something of value.

It’s just not what determines your stepping forward.

Some guys are waiting to be super-powerful and radiating charm BEFORE they make a move.

Well, yes, you CAN rehearse in charm etc, for sure.

But for some guys, it’s a mistake because they are already too much in their heads and, or THEM, the rehearsing just gets in the way of taking action.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. What would life be like with no further need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? It’s time to get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.  Click here to Nail Your Inner Game…

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

A crush is defined by Dictionary.com as “an intense but usually short-lived infatuation.”

And sometimes they’re not “short-lived” but they’ll still  CRUSH YOU as sure as a pissed-off python that decides it has a hankerin’ for a YOU sandwich.

Such as this student experienced:

Here’s the story.  We’ve known each other for about a year now, as a result of meeting at a business networking function.  We had lunch a few days later, and enjoyed each other’s company.  Back then, she told me she had a boyfriend.  Since then, we’ve had business conversations on the phone occasionally.  I threw in some SS themes wherever possible.  Every time we talked, we had great and wonderful rapport. She indicated that she is not comfortable meeting me in private, but invited me to visit her at her office for chit chat several times (I never went, because it seemed like a supplication to me).  Recently, I moved away, so she’s now about 2.5 hours from me.

She’s adventurous, cool, fun, GF material, so I decided to give us one last chance.  So I’ve twice left voicemail and also e-mailed her, but I haven’t gotten a response.  So what gives?  What went wrong?

OK: I’m going to dissect the daylights out of this.

For this past year, how much time have you spent thinking about her (crushing)? How much energy have you put into your projected fantasies about her?  How many times have you and Jimmy wrestled over thoughts of her?

Look: this is the SINGLE worst thing you can do if you want sargy success. BANISH this habit from your mind, ritually. Retake ALL the energy you’ve dumped into this crush.

Imagine a giant machine, with huge grinding gears. Imagine all the energy of that crush being put through that machine, grinding it to pieces and then boiling the remains into steam that is purified into PURE energy for your peace of mind, grounding, balance, learning and attractive vibe towards women anywhere and everywhere. The smart ones being drawn to you without you even speaking and when you DO speak, that vibe and THAT vibe only is conveyed, regardless of the words you say.

Now, see how this crush affected the rest of your thought process.

“Great and wonderful rapport?”

Or so you felt in YOUR fantasy.  I’ll bet a dollar that “great and wonderful rapport” is NOT what SHE said.

“Adventurous, cool, fun, GF material?”

What? WHAT? W-H-A-T?

Adventurous? But she won’t meet you in person? GF MATERIAL? A woman who won’t even meet you in person, who insists you come to her office for “chit chat” is GF material?

See, she is GF material IN YOUR CRUSHING FANTASIES.  And thing is, I’ll bet a second dollar you’re not in HER fantasies at all.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Need a proven way to take any and all confusion, frustration, and stuckness you’ve ever experienced with women, and immediately convert it to pure, immediately usable learning, so you could bounce right back, and automatically do things right the next time?  You’ll find this and many, many more python-grip-breaking answers in Nail Your Inner Game.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Let’s say you’re out and about and walk-up to a hottie and really hit it off.  Or, you’re at a party and your host’s best friend is an HB10++++ and she smiles just right while hanging on your every word.

For s$%@s and giggles, maybe you’re online and chat with a woman, seeing her on “cam” verifies she actually IS hot, and she’s just so flirty and cute and 10 minutes from you and agreeing to meet you, in the succulent flesh, firm booty and huge tits and all, for coffee the next day.

All of these scenarios make you feel good.  Hey, nothing suck-seeds like suck-sess, and few things crank up the dial on a sunny day like a beautiful woman’s smile when it’s meant for you.

Problem, though.

You start to feel a new state coming on…then it erupts within you like a volcano.  Next thing, you associate her sexy eyes and twinkling smile and the way she says “babe” in her awww-shucks way…

… and are consumed by RAGING LUST, DESIRE, AND HORNINESS that obliterates any and all other feelings or senses.

Clearly, this is NOT a good state to come from when approaching women.  You end up getting invested in the result of bedding HER (rather than “interested in the woman” and “invested in sharpening your skills”) but, nevertheless, there it is.  BAM.  Your girl-getting game and experience goes out the window and it’s a very, very short ride to AFC-Ville.

How Do You Put Carnal Desire In Its Place So You Get Her Back To YOUR Place?

You realize it.  You need to get yourself into a calm, centered, powerful, playful, exploratory place, or the only good those desires will do you will be to give Jimmy a fighting chance in the hand-to-hand wrestling match you’ll have in about an hour while thinking about her.

Yet at the same time, you want to USE and CHANNEL that energy that arises from this “desire states” to HELP you get the results you want.

Here’s a quick exercise you can do, at that moment, to get these desires working FOR you, instead of just working you.  (NOTE: this requires a certain level of self-awareness and if that’s an area where you need changework, you want to check out Nail Your Inner Game).

1. Ground into your feet. Bend your knees slightly and feel your feet pressing into your shoes and the ground pressing back up through your shoes/feet
2. Tune into the lustful feelings and see if you can find the edge or border where they fade out into almost disappearing. Then hold your attention on the very border/edge of the feelings, just before they disappear. That will help.

Think about it.  Your mind full of raging lust, desire, and horniness…. or HER full of raging lust, desire, and horniness as she presses her succulent body, firm booty and huge tits and all, up against you?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Understanding how to fit all of your thoughts, actions, responses and ideas with women into the right frame – the frame of NEVER supplicating, begging or “asking”, but instead, offering challenges, structuring opportunities and eliciting/evoking processes is the single most important key to getting at least three to four times more women.  Learn more about this right here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Winston Churchill said it brilliantly: When you’re going through hell, keep going!

While that is sometimes a way to “get to the other side”, it might backfire when you’re trying to overcome anxiety, as I explain here:

anxiety2-pushthroughpain

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine life with no further need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? Now’s the time to get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.   Click here and let’s make this happen, shall we?

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

A lot of smart guys have various areas of life handled – kick-ass job, success in sports and hobbies, exciting lifestyle, awesome car, nice house – even plenty of hot babes swarming about.  But still, something is lurking.

Like you’re not “good enough” for whatever it is you really want to have.

Feelings of worthlessness, shame, self-doubt can rear their ugly head and kick your will to succeed right in the cajones and have you on your knees crying uncle so fast your head will spin.  And they can be serious as a heart attack.

So, how do you blast through these feelings and light a fire under your girl-getting game?

Have you ever considered how worthless, mostly, feelings of worthlessness are? They serve no one and nothing…but…

…There Is Also A Cosmic Truth Embedded In The Shit.

Like a nice shiny piece of summer corn buried deep inside a stinking piece of poop: MOST of the experiences we have in life are impermanent and don’t last.

That’s not a reflection on you at all. It is the case and part and parcel of how things are structured.

There is also an Aspect of Life that is everlasting and outside time.

Often “shame” or “worthlessness” is a corrupted view of a great truth: most things are impermanent, but at the same time, we all have one foot inside the Immortal.

Really, what we often seek, without naming it or being able to, is transcendence. The connecting in with That which is beyond locality or time and which is already the ground of who we are anyway as we move through the impermanence of life.

There is REAL suffering and REAL bliss in life. Birth is blissful once you are delivered, but the process fucking hurts; getting kicked out of the womb, squeezed with crushing pressure by the Cootchie of Life, being suffocated in the canal, coming out covered in mucus and goo, often choking on all sorts of body goop and fluids until it is cleared out, and then you are greeted with a SMACK on the ass and yet…

…What Relief!

What triumph…you survived and now here you are!

I would say: when you feel shame or lack of worth, ask, “inside of this, how much is a true view of the impermanence of life? And from the part of me that is already taking part in the Everlasting, how can I transmute, purify and redirect as energy for my growth and my vision, all of what used be felt energetically as shame and lack of worth?”

Do not be shamed that you came out of cootchie and will die and leave a sack of flesh shell. That’s not who You are and the journey between is what keeps us entertained on the Everlasting side as we remain outside of linear time, always have and always will.

Is this making sense?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. I’ve got the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system for untangling the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys stuck entirely, or stuck at a very underachieving level, and I’ve created a way where anyone can use it.   Click here to get it for yourself.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It’s one thing to achieve mastery over your use of the four vibes to fearlessly and effortlessly get all the women you want.  But what happens when you have a “bad vibe” going on inside you that’s holding you back and stopping you from making your move?

Many guys tell me that they get visions of failure before they even walk up to her.  The visions just sort of “take over”, and when they do, the guy’s girl-getting game gets thrown in the hole, locked up and thrown away the key, and the only thing left on tap is this feeling and vision of failure.

Next time this happens to you, consider the following:

Those images would not be in your mind if you were not choosing to value certainty (even the certainty of FAILURE) over being uncertain.

Look: the real issue here is not even the content of what you are visualizing. Or whether you are doing so deliberately… or, as several students have put it, “It just takes over me”.

You are trying to gain information about what you can do in the world and how people will respond to you from a system/process (in this case, your internal imagery and dialog) that can’t possibly provide that information for you.

In short: you are racking your brain trying to come up with 100% CERTAIN success before you take an actual step. That isn’t possible, of course- so now the system is running the OTHER way, providing certainty for you that you will FAIL.  By doing so, you are REJECTING YOURSELF before she even gets to decide to drag you into her room and fuck your brains out.

Fear of failure isn’t pleasant. But at least you are CERTAIN you are going to fail with all that crap running through your head.

Now What Is All Of This Really Doing At A Deeper Level?

It is reinforcing your self-image as someone who needs guarantees before he takes a step into the real world.

You are so distracted by the content of your imagery and dialog that you aren’t seeing the process it is trying to serve. And you aren’t seeing the underlying self-image that is being fed by this nonsense.

Guess what?

You are NOT a goddamned fragile child.

You will NOT fall apart if someone doesn’t like you or accept your overtures.

It will simply be unpleasant. But you may also find that the energy that is released after you breakthrough and beat your fear feels better than anything you’ve ever experienced in your life.

I recommend you imagine that you can reach in and find the “you” that doesn’t need guarantees. That can let loose, say “fuck it” and just go see what happens.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine your life with no need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? Now, what if you could get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted?

Find the solutions to all of this – and much more – by clicking here.