Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

As a decent, caring person, many smart guys will find themselves wanting to help and support the women they care about.

Yet, there’s that balance, between being strong and supportive, versus becoming her therapist, or worse, her emotional tampon.  Let’s say she is going through a really tough time.  In empathy, you want her to really open up and share everything in her life with you.

Be careful though.  When we care about someone, we can get pulled into their stuff so deep that it colors who we are and our own energy and sense of possibility and approach to life.  It will certainly affect the energy she feels coming from YOU.

Let me say this: some issues are best resolved ENERGETICALLY, as opposed to behavior or language. Pay attention to your own behavior and vibe when you are with her. Set the intent to understand where she is at, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THERE FOR YOURSELF.

Do you notice what I said? I said without HAVING TO. Doesn’t mean you can’t, it means it is a choice.

When we care about someone, the heart opens and EVERYTHING comes out. Joy, lust, caring, sadness, grief, anger. If she’s carrying around a lot of painful baggage, she may want to hold it in and being around you makes that impossible; you open her heart and out it comes.

Women revive the emotions associated with the topics that they are talking about.  Therefore, it is crucial to know what topics to introduce to get her emotions moving in the way we want them to move – towards lust, desire, fascination, desire, connection, etc.  And away from the pain.

Doesn’t that just make sense?  And aren’t you serving HER by helping her make a NEW CHOICE?

Here are a few topics that you should always have a way to bring up with women.

• Fantasy, escape, diversion, adventure
• Indulgence, cravings, spoiling herself
• Connections, with others, nature, beauty, something bigger and more beautiful than she expected

Look: life brings pain. No avoiding that. It’s what we wisely do with it.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. For many many, many more easy ways to direct a woman’s energy and emotions in a way that serves BOTH of you…all the way to your bed (or floor or couch), check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

These days, every marriage has about a 50% chance of ending in divorce.  Oftentimes this because one (or both) of the partners “settled” rather than claiming the results they deserved and getting with the person they really wanted to be with.  Another of the leading causes of divorce is infidelity, where one partner cheats on the other.

And that’s within the bounds of sacred legal matrimony, with both Church and State involved. So it gets even worse when you consider how often people cheat on their partners in relationships (or real-hate-shun-ships by default).

When a smart man, who otherwise has life handled and everything going his way, finds out his woman cheated on him with someone else, it’s devastating.  Aside from it being just wrong of her to do that, consider the impact on the man’s ego.  It’s like taking a giant lance and shoving it through a tiny balloon in terms of how badly it can rip him apart inside.

The questions arise: “What, I’m not good enough to please her?” “Am I good enough for any woman?” “What’s he got that I don’t?  Sure there’s a reason she stiffed me for him!” “She’s the best I’ve ever had, I’ll never do any better, and look what she did to me?  I give up!” “Will the next woman cheat on me, too?” “Why bother?”

And The Wet Sack-Cloth Of Angst Continues To Weight Him Down…

Not only does the cheating impact (as in ruin) the current relationship, but think what impact it could have on the man’s future interactions with women…

Say he meets a new woman, things go great, and they end up in a relationship.  She’s awesome in bed and compatible with him in pretty much every way – she’s that “lady in the streets / freak in the sheets” every guy wants to introduce to his mother AND take on a wild ride in the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

But….now he finds himself fearing he’s becoming too emotionally invested, which would open him up to being hurt again. Since last time he got emotionally involved, his girlfriend cheated on him, now he’s wondering how he can protect himself from being too vulnerable – yet still be able to enjoy the benefits of getting closer (meaning attached) to someone.

It Isn’t Just About Attachment. It’s About Entanglement.

Along with the good feelings he has with the current woman, he also has the entanglement of what happened in the past.  His legitimate desire to be safe when entering a new relationship is now all tangled up with fear-tainted grasping and need.  “What if SHE cheats on me too?  I don’t know if I have it in me to deal with AGAIN!”

It’s a fact of life: eventually, on some level, everyone loses someone they love.  BUT on another level, things don’t end.  And remember this, too: if you hadn’t found out that woman from before was cheating on you, it’s possible you might still be with her – in the dark in many ways – missing out on more eligible (not to mention HOTTER) women NOW.

Are you going to let that woman who cheated on you in the past CONTINUE to hurt you by interfering with your CURRENT relationships with women?  She probably doesn’t think about you much at all, yet you’re going to let memories of her PAST insolence override the very real chances to find juicy joy with women in the PRESENT day?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. This applies not only to situations where a woman from your past cheated on you, but ANY situation where you might be letting residue from a bad past real-hate-shun-ship entangle you and trip you up.  As you get untangled and move forward into the wet, pink expanse of available, eligible hot babes, you’ll need the GPS to guide you to the juiciest of them all.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

One of the patterns I teach is the “Boyfriend Destroyer” which you’d use when you approach a woman and she tells you she has a boyfriend.

This pattern has some naysayers.  Here are a couple of them:

“Doesn’t that make you a small man, having to go after someone else’s woman?”

“Why would you want to spend time on a woman who’s going to lie to you within 3 minutes of meeting you?  Why would you want to be with a woman who cheats?”

“Why would you waste your time on a woman who is taken or says she is?  What about these tens of thousands of women you say I can get?”

Well, today I call bullshit on the naysaying with a few facts about “boyfriend destroying.”

It’s just a sad fact that many women who SAY they have a boyfriend either are lying outright, responding out of auto-pilot, or they are stuck in real-hate-shun-ships by default.

The reality is, most very attractive women ARE probably going to be with someone.  Most women regardless of their place on the HB scale are “seeing someone” – but does that mean it’s “exclusive?”

If you wait until you find girls who are totally officially “single” you may be waiting a long time.

Think about this:

You can use fire to heat your camp at night. Or you can use it to burn down a building.

You can use a knife to stab an innocent person in the heart. Or you can use it to cut someone’s bonds and set them free.

I believe that not caving in to a woman’s first “knee-jerk” response is a good thing.

I’m creating a space for her to have a new choice, to respond with more freedom and act differently.  By doing this, I serve HER.

Listen: if she really, REALLY loves the guy, she will let you know and you aren’t going to get anywhere anyway.  So you “Exit, Stage Left” but she’ll probably think you’re a nice guy.  Maybe nice enough she’ll introduce you to her actually-single friends.  But what you WILL get EVERY time is the practice that sharpens the skills that will get you your next ten successes with women.

Is THAT such a bad thing?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you want to learn how to meet women easily, anytime, anywhere, and totally have them eating out of the palm of your hand (and the  fly of your pants) despite her “I have a boyfriend” opening statement, just click here.

You’ll be doing you, and her, a service.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Going through my lovely mail bag, I have here a question from a student who just purchased Speed Seduction® 3.0, barely had signed for the package delivery before he ripped it right out of the box and slid it into his DVD player, and starting getting more women so fast it’d make your head spin.

Here’s his question:

Now that I’m connecting with a few new women, how do I move from one to the next? As they say “breaking up is hard to do.”

What do you have for me that talks about letting them down easy? I mean, I could just be an a$$hole and stop calling them, but that doesn’t seem like the adult thing to do.  Is there a pattern, or something I can use as a way to “move on?”

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most, let me ask you a question.

If you woke up one morning to learn some unknown rich relative had left you a billion dollars and it was sitting in your bank account right now, how easy would it be to change your lifestyle?

I bet you’d be driving to your realtor’s office THAT MORNING in your brand-new Porsche, calling your boss from your cell phone on the way there to tell them you quit, to sign the papers for your new mansion, just in time to pick up your favorite chick to meet your chartered private airplane for 2:00 lift-off for a dirty seven-day weekend in Vegas.

You wouldn’t spend much time explaining it in great detail to every single person you know.  Because that would just be holding you back…correct?

Another question: has a woman ever stopped returning your calls?  Told you simply “I can’t see you anymore” without offering any explanation at all?  Whether or not turnabout is fair play, is it the way of the world?

I don’t know how many exclusive relationships you’ve been in, but assuming you have, when you “went exclusive” with a woman, how much time did you spend individually explaining the change to the other women in your life?  Or were you now totally busy with your new girlfriend?

In your concern, I gather a need to explain yourself.  That shows you are a decent person who cares for the feelings of others.  Now, I challenge you: would you not also be showing concern and care  by being polite but clear and direct in letting these other women know you’ve moved on, without dragging it out?  This way, they know THEIR more likely options lay elsewhere and THEY can “get there” faster?

Spend your Sarging and patterning energies getting more of what you DO want.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Ready to stop letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while your energy is overspent in other areas?  Let me show you how to redirect your girl-getting game so you get more of what you want while simultaneously addressing what you are moving away from.  Click here to get it now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

I don’t know about you, but I’m really enjoying this week’s “mail bag” series.

I don’t get a chance to do these very often, and I’ll be blunt: this is only a smattering of the girl-getting wisdom and teaching that you’ll find inside my Coaching Program.  You should really check it out.

In today’s installment, let’s look at a student who seems to be “stuck” on some chick and he’s trying to fix some real or purported “damage”…

I’m not old, fat, or ugly. I’m a student and lead singer of a band. I never had a problem getting girls, BUT the one girl I do want is more confusing than anything – and I’m at my wits end.

I’ve been on and off with her for three years and initially she was always ready to please sexually and otherwise – she claims I hurt her and now she is “emotionally damaged” … has no interest in sex and refuses to do anything sexual at all. I would like to seal the deal and be monogamous with this one girl but cannot because of the sexual issues. I’ve tried talking about it, being nice, yelling, threatening, all to no avail. She has random bursts of sexual interest but this stops short of actual intercourse.  Considering there are quite a few other girls willing to fulfill my needs it’s getting more and more difficult to stay faithful. I want a healthy, functioning sexual relationship again.

You say it’s getting more difficult to stay faithful?  To WHAT? Did I miss the part where you said she is currently your girlfriend and you and her are building a life TOGETHER?  She claims you hurt her and emotionally damaged her, and at random intervals she’ll show “some” interest but you never actually board the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.  And you have other women wanting to fulfill your needs.  Consider this:

• Whether you did or didn’t really “emotionally damage” her, you need to figure out why that has you revolving your whole life around trying to “fix” it.  What, within you, is holding you back from resolving this for YOURSELF?
• Even if you COULD fix whatever damage was done, you can’t do it with her unless you fix it WITHIN YOU first.
• What, inside you, compels you to feel the need to “fix” her at expense of your own emotional power?  (It’s written between the lines.)
• That being said…dude…you’re a rock star with women pining for you.  Maybe you’re not picking the ripest cherries from this bushel because of the unresolved issues (within yourself) behind Door Number One?

All the more reason to get clear with YOURSELF.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I had a dollar for every student who actually did screw up with a chick he was really into and beat himself up over it, I’d be living on a yacht with Tabbatha Jean and Tazzleberry Marie, on a 12-month (instead of 3-week) Speed Seduction® 3.0 Live Tour.  There’s a way past it, but it doesn’t have anything to do with HER.  Click here to see what I mean.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Whenever I hear someone is in a relationship, my first question: is it a relationship, or a real-hate-shun-ship by default?

Before we go any further, let me be clear: if you’ve found that special someone, and it’s truly right for both of you, GOOD ON YOU!

However, about 50% of all marriages are doomed to divorce.  They say it’s because “values are changing” or “people don’t respect the sanctity of marriage anymore”, etc.  Whatever.

No. NOT true.

Why do guys stay in “real-hate-shun-ships by default?”

Here are some of the stunning reasons I’ve heard over the years, often from guys who otherwise seem to have life handled:

• “It’s cheaper to keep her.”  (He fears having to pay up in a divorce settlement, so he endures a living hell and possibly finding the REAL woman of his dreams, simply to avoid writing a check which might be his ticket to lifetime happiness.)
• “She was my high school sweetheart, and our families have been friends for generations.  It would upset a lot of people if we broke up.” (So, WHO ARE YOU MARRIED TO, pal???)
• “We stay together for the kids.” (Yeah, the kids who live in a miserable home because your real-hate-shun-ship ain’t workin’.  Kids DO see what’s going on.)
• “I was taught: you’re supposed to be married by the time you’re 30, and you have a responsibility to provide grandchildren for your parents.” (So, everyone in your family has ALWAYS been HAPPY and has made PRODUCTIVE CONTRIBUTIONS?)
• “Man, I’ve never had a girl as fine as she is.  And hey, nothing’s perfect.  I can deal with her spazzing out on me because I probably won’t find one THIS hot ever again.” (Correction: I calculate there are 34,000 women at least as hot as she is.)
• “Happiness is what they put in the movies.  This is REAL LIFE, Ross, not some fairy tale.  I don’t play games.” (No XBox for you, huh?)

Let me add: Speed Seduction® ain’t just about getting laid.  Want a girlfriend?  Looking for a wife?  Great!  Then use my teachings to cut through the bull***t “dating rituals” and “social programming” and you’re MORE LIKELY to find a life partner who will satisfy you in every way.  In fact, my teachings also help guys who are married and in relationships keep the “spark” burning hot.

Look: it’s your life.  You deserve the opportunity to create the results and the happiness with the women you truly desire.  Are you living a life of fulfillment, or a life by default?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Are you fed up having to settle for low quality, average women, or worse – being alone?  Well, if you CHOOSE to live a life by default, it really is your fault.  Because you don’t have to.  Click here for a solution that skips over the nonsense and gets you the women you REALLY want.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

We’ve been following the experiences of my student, and so far it’s been an oft-told story…

… at least one that’s oft-told among my students.

Boy meets Girl.

Boy Sarges on Girl and gets her excited about exploring new worlds without resorting to bullying, begging, buying, BS, or booze (or biceps) or getting stuck in the “friend” trap.

Girl puts up resistance just when Boy thinks he’s about to score big.  Boy confidently and unflinchingly appeals to her vibe and overcomes Girl’s resistance and they’re off to the races.

Well: I’m pleased to report this story has a happy ending and they lived happily ever after. 

Part 3: (Inner) Game On!

From that moment, their subsequent dates went GREAT.  They had a great time.  She was happy with him because he was always doing different and unusual things (well, unusual because she was used to dealing with AFCs).  In doing so he adhered to the principle, “Leave her better than you found her.” He was happy because he was managing a fruitful relationship for the first time in his life.

The relationship is now over, but my student has great memories that he can appeal to every time he needs a positive feeling or “vibe” in his girl-getting game.  As a result of the experience, he’s no longer afraid of exploring his feelings and letting himself live every second without dreading the uncertainty of what’s coming next.

Now, as we wrap up here, I want to focus on a few key points.

1) Notice that he didn’t say anything about “dates” until AFTER they slept together.  He “met” her several times, but he adhered to my teaching: “Dating is what you do with women you’re already sleeping with.” By avoiding the “dating” rituals he actually INCREASED the odds she would become his girlfriend.

2) I said earlier they lived happily ever after.  I did NOT say they lived happily ever after TOGETHER. It doesn’t always work out quite that way, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t work out.

Remember: when you interact with a woman, your goal is not to succeed with her, but to hone and strengthen your girl-getting skills that will lead to success with many other women.

3) That said, if this particular woman turns out to be “the one”, then good on both of you!  If not, the odds just went WAY up that you’ll succeed more often with more women… and that you WILL find “the one” much sooner.

Either way, it sure beats a poke in the eye!

Much peace and many more pieces,
RJ

P.S. Life is fine when you have an effective, sure way to learn from every situation with women, so you develop a “stealth charisma” that’s subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone.  Click here to learn how to get it.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

Seeing smart guys like you master the tools and proven strategies that get you all the hot, sexy, desirable women you want is the “payoff” of being a Seduction teacher. As I like to say…

The women are waiting, now what are you waiting FOR???

I recently got a letter from a student who has been talking to a girl for about three months now. He tells me he’s been keeping things mostly casual, running patterns or pieces of patterns here and there and just structuring his language in a better way then what he believes the typical Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) would.

But from what I gather, he really has not been working that hard though. She gives him lots of signs that she likes him, such as texting him about 50 times a day, remembering virtually everything he ever says to her, going out of her way to see him, etc. He tells me she always wants more when he runs a pattern on her, but he pulls back and makes her work for it, like he’s “teasing” her.

He wonders why he hasn’t scored with this chick yet, after three months.

Let’s dissect this.

Uh…first of all, what part of the “Speed” in “Speed Seduction®” did he miss?

The minute I see something like this, I already know what the problem is. This is a thinking that is focused more on not making mistakes than it is on doing what will work.

Guys, here is the real problem with this “talk to a girl for 3 months” approach: it is more focused on getting the girl than it is ON MASTERING THE SKILLS.

Instead, think in terms of every woman you meet as being an opportunity to help someone feel a bit better about their day AND ANOTHER STEP TOWARDS MASTERY OF YOUR SKILLS.

I think this student, and any guy in this situation, would benefit a great deal from reviewing their beliefs about learning. Here are three good ones:

1. ***I*** decide what I learn from every person, event, situation, and action in my life. ****I**** decide what meaning I give things.
2. I will either enjoy the process of getting what I want (or better) or I will enjoy getting what I want (or better) or BOTH.
3. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

So as far as this chick, what are you waiting FOR? An engraved invitation? I think you know what they say about “those who wait.”

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Wouldn’t it be great to have an effective, sure way to learn from every girl-getting situation, so that you could develop a “stealth charisma” that was subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone?

You get all this, and much more, with my Nail Your Inner Game System. It’s time to stop “waiting” and start “wading” into the waters!

Click here to claim yours now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

My recent posts on women who “run hot and cold” have struck quite a nerve.

I’m getting a ton of e-mails and responses, so I know this is an issue that many smart guys like you, including those in my Speed Seduction® Coaching Program, need assistance getting handled.

Now, talk about “hot and cold” – this next letter comes from a student who is Sarging on a woman who goes from naming the kids and planning weekends with the in-laws to not returning his calls, just like that… and he just recently met her!

==============================

The woman in particular is an attractive, 25 yr old small-business owner who seemed to open up very quickly. I met her friends and family right away and we spent a lot of time together. She talked about children’s names and eluded to “our in-laws.” She almost disappeared July 4th and within a week of extreme distance said “you’re not like anyone I’ve ever dated and I don’t know why I’m pushing away what I truly want.”

She bought me gifts and a card the second time we went out, text me many times throughout the day and seemed so sweet, compassionate and just wonderfully feminine.

I’m not sure what went wrong but it sucks, bad. What do you guys think? Did I kill the attraction?

==============================

First of all, what does “open up very quickly” mean? DID YOU F@@K HER? DID YOU F@@K HER? DID YOU F@@K HER? (That’s a yes or no question – you did or you didn’t.)

Frequently in the “Steaming Hot Seduction Secrets” ezines I hammer the point that “dating is what you do with women you’re already sleeping with!” Why?

Because when the interaction turns to “dating,” women instinctively pull out their “checklist” of what the “perfect man” is and start rating whether you are “her type.” If you have not yet connected with her emotionally and set the “anchors” that make any “checklist” irrelevant, you don’t want to be “dating” her.

For the same reason, I’m not in a hurry to meet family and friends. It puts too much “meaning” on things, and immediately that often triggers a woman’s “is he REALLY the one” fractionation / emotional interruption mechanism.

Now, she’s talking about kids’ names and in-laws that early on? That means she is trying out that kind of thinking because she thinks it is how she SHOULD be thinking instead of wanting to go out with her girlfriends, get laid, have fun, etc. She’s trying to convince herself.

Right now, you’re in knots from her “running hot and cold” (the gifts and cards, followed by the “extreme distance”) because you are hooked on the validation and attention. So when she pulls it away, you freak out, get clingy, drive her away, instead of being aware of that response as it first arises and being able to redirect.

It’s time to break the “hot and cold” cycle caused by your need for validation by this (or ANY) woman, and find the woman (or women) who will just want consistent, steaming-hot fun.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Starting now, forget about ever again being confused by a woman’s emotional 180s, her fluctuations between wanting you and pushing you away, her last minute buyers remorse, contradictory signals, sudden loss of interest and other up until now deeply frustrating and seemingly irrational actions.

With what I teach you throughout the 7 DVDs and 11 CDS of Speed Seduction® 3.0, you’ll be in charge as the effortless seduction architect of every interaction and situation.

Claim yours now, and stop letting her “give it and take it away” – for good!