Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Are you now getting, or have you ever gotten, pushback from a female interest that goes something like this:

“Wow, I want to get involved but I think you’re just going to leave me hurt”

or

“You’re something, but I don’t think I could live up to you.”

Is she intimidated by you?  Does she lack self-confidence?  Are we seeing past trauma in her life rearing its ugly head?  Perhaps a little self-doubt in her mind, “I don’t deserve this man”?

Could be any, or all of these.  Or something else.

Let me point out the piece that I think is missing: having HER reach for it, having HER confirm for herself in her OWN thinking and her OWN behavior that:

• She WANTS to reach for more.
• She MUST reach for more or she will lose you.
• If she DOES reach for more, she WILL get a great reward with you (you will NOT reject her if she DOES reach for more, but reward her instead).

There are many Speed Seduction® tools to help accomplish this, but one thing to emphasize above all is the attitude that you do not and WILL not overwhelm her; that at some point, SHE has to qualify herself “in”, and if she does not, you will walk away and not feel anything other than, “Ok, let’s draw someone better”.

[Hint: the tools would be ratification, meta-stating, measuring. Also screening, both actually screening for certain personality traits and giving the appearance of being screened.]

And of course, fractionation.

If you are always, always, ALWAYS moving forward then she literally CAN’T move toward you. Where are you energetically, physically, etc. pulling back a bit and seeing if she moves toward YOU?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Lots and lots of specific “how to” video modules (over 120 in fact) inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection, on a wide variety of topics.  Crack open the vault and claim your Virtual Vaginal Victory!

Dear Speed Seduction® Masters-In-Training,

Since today is Independence Day here in the United States, I want to share with you some thoughts about magic and freedom.

There is magic in the mastery of using language to capture and lead imagination and emotions.

There is the magic of knowing what to notice that remains invisible to the eye of most.

And, then, there is the deeper magic.

The magic of being willing to step into the unknown AND freeing the other person of any expectation about how THEY should respond or will respond.

Truly freeing them.

As in willing and able to ground yourself into a place of energetic acceptance (they can do whatever they want, **I** control where my energy goes) of their first response, whatever it may be. You are going to respond by staying grounded and holding compassion.

That doesn’t mean you STAY there or make their first response YOUR permanent “truth” about the situation.

Here is why this is so powerful, and why this brings you freedom:

Even the hottest woman has areas of her life where she feels stuck. Things or ways of being or feeling she’s like to try but doesn’t. And she wants reassurance BEFORE she steps out of the boat – so she stays in the boat and just watches the waves and wonders. EVERY WOMAN HAS A PART OF HER LIFE WHERE THIS IS SO.

So when she sees you, a person WILLING to step into what is unknown for you, willing to be open and vulnerable (but not needy) with life and living that is sexy.

She won’t be able to explain it, she’ll feel it.

By itself, that is sexy.

Now, so many people, when they finally do have a way to step beyond their comfort zone are SO filled with expectations and demands on the situation and on others.

“Hey, I opened up to you. I risked. Now I DEMAND you open up back”

So when you open up and step beyond the known as a choice for yourself WITH NO DEMANDS AT ALL ON THE OTHER PERSON, that freedom, that “not doing”, that “vacuum” around you creates a pull forward.

You place no pressure. You have no “push” on them at all.

There is no-thing for them to resist.

These two elements combined create a deeper magic few will ever even see.

And the two elements don’t add up.

They MULTIPLY.

So it’s not 100 points of attractive vibe PLUS 100 points of attractive vibe.

It’s 100 points times 100 points. That’s 10,000 points of attractive vibe.

Now, add to that:

Basic walk up energies that enable you to effortlessly approach any woman, any time, anywhere.

Language skills.

The energetic touch secrets.

I think that puts you up near the 20,000 points of attraction – right out of the gate.

None of this requires arrogant swagger or being a loudmouth.

And NONE OF IT REQUIRES ANY PAST “SUCCESS”.

You can have it now, in a heatbeat, in between the passing of one second to the next, in between the fading of this thought and the arising of the next.

Strip away the nonsense and crap that has swirled and guess what: YOU ALREADY ARE THIS.

You just have to be quiet enough to remember.

And in that, there is freedom that goes beyond words.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine a life that has no further need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, where you walk like a giant where other people fear to step.

No matter what is holding you back, now is the time to break free of the chains, get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted.

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Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Have you ever encountered a “man hater”, a woman who is closed and has deep “man issues,” or a woman who you reasonably believe is only one slight nudge away from becoming a schlong slicer?

Are you one of those guys who seem to be a love-hate figure with the ladies?  Meaning, some women strongly enjoy being around you and others instantaneously hate you, everything you stand for, and everything you like just because you like it?

Well, before worrying that you might have to change your name to Bobbitt, consider this.

Behind every angry response, look for the resentment, or jealousy or even most commonly, THE FEAR.

Maybe this woman who “hates” you has had pain from her past attraction to men whom she PERCEIVES you are like.

She associates pain to that attraction she felt to you because, in the past, men whom she PERCEIVES you are like, caused her pain (and/or she caused herself pain by her automatic reactions to these men, expecting more from them than they wanted, or something different than they wanted.

Just like the AFC chump/nice guy EXPECTS women to be attracted to his niceness and then is disappointed and angry and fearful when they don’t!

Congratulations on discovering something: women are human.

THEY HAVE AUTOPILOT RESPONSES and FALSE perceptions, just like us guys! They see things through the filters of the past and ASSUME that what they perceive is accurate and real.

In her mind, the possibility that you could have many of the attractive characteristics of these guys from the past, WITHOUT being arrogant or cruel or hurtful DOESN’T OCCUR TO HER.  She only sees the potential to be hurt YET AGAIN.

And probably concludes, in addition, that she is DOOMED to be hurt and can NEVER find a guy she could be attracted to AND who will treat her well.

So, it goes back to her fear. If she was utterly neutral about it and didn’t have any charge on it at all, she would care less about you, one way or the other.

We OFTEN fear what we are attracted to, because that attraction can make us feel out of control. Or can remind us of past pain. It’s not hate – it’s F-E-A-R.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. When you know what to look for and how to use a woman’s emotional responses, she will actually provide almost all of the energy for the seduction.  This is just a sliver of what we’ll cover in our London 3-day seminar, which starts just seven days from now.  You in?  Click here to get your seat before it’s too late.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

In all areas of life, a key ingredient to success, whatever your definition of that word, is persistence.

Now let’s say you’re persistent, but something keeps going persistently wrong?  Or, looking at it another way, if something is persistently tripping you up or blocking you from claiming your results?

Let’s hear from a student who seems to be able to Sarge only in bars (ironic, I know, given that’s one of the hardest places to Sarge and one of the least recommended places as far as I am concerned):

> Im not afraid to approach women, I’m having trouble getting from right after
> hello and going into pattern at will, Also trouble with state control. I bring
> me old self with me it persistently stays. It sucks, I have had success but only
> in bars mostly that where I’m more anchored in good feeling and in a bar it
> the right place to sarge but outside going along with everyday tasks its
> difficult. Breaking state Im having trouble understanding.If I can get to
> patterns I got em but getting Im having trouble.

So what’s the “big idea” here?The big idea is this: you probably don’t need to add anything in. You probably just have to subtract out whatever internal processes are getting in the way.

You’ve got good feelings and no problem in a bar which is where MOST guys have trouble! So what is NOT going on in your head, in a bar, that DOES go on in your head, elsewhere? Or, what goes on in your head, outside of bar, that is ABSENT when you are in a bar?

What you need to do is subtract out what is getting in your way, when you are NOT in a bar.

Once you identify that, you’re one step closer to no-holds-bar-red success with the women you truly desire.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Are you sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to meet them?  No longer will this be an impediment once you master what I teach in Speed Seduction® 3.0.  Click here to get yours now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Yesterday I shared with you Part 1 of the letter from my student who set the intention of approaching 100 women and the expectation that most of them would shoot him down.

In Part 2, let’s explore some of the techniques that helped him in his quest.

As you read the rest of his letter, pay special attention to his brilliant advice on overcoming the fear of “failure”.

Now here’re a few techniques you may want to use:

Talking with other smart guys about women: I cannot say enough about this. Just learning what others are doing while doing the above is both encouraging as well as enlightening. I just want to thank the thoughtful people who post quality emails … some of us really appreciate it.

Self-reward and -analysis: Always pat yourself in the back after making an approach or every few approaches. It works. It sounds funny but you feel better when you tell yourself ‘good job’ and give yourself a pat in the back.

Every, say 5 approaches analyze what you did… think how you could have done it concretely better… and replay in your mind how you’d have done it. DON’T analyze every time, do it every say 5 times.

Women are random and if you analyze it each time you’ll NOT see the real pattern. No pun intended. But the exercise (AGAIN) is not to get better, although you naturally will, but just to get across the X number of getting shot-down.

Fear of failure and safety: Early on I sat down and asked myself what in the world was holding me back from approaching beautiful (physically, intellectually, spiritually) women and making their lives sheer beauty, wonder, delight… and I realized… it was just a simple fear of failing.

What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fall on my face? What if I just annoy her? Being someone who’s successful at a lot of things he’s tried in life this was a BIG one.

But then after some thought I realized it was a paradox. THE BIGGEST FAILURE IS TO FEAR FAILURE. If you fear failure, then you’re GUARANTEED to fail every time.

Think about it. Think about this for long enough and it’ll BLOW your mind AND any fear of failure you have out of the water. DRILL on any such feelings with this paradox.

If you fear failure, YOU WILL FAIL EACH AND EVERY TIME. It’s a complete guarantee. So THAT FEAR IS ITSELF the BIGGEST FAILURE.

Secondly, often we want to be ‘safe.’ But usually, safe from what?? Safe from success, safe from learning how to move women in ways that may astonish us. Do you want to be safe from success? Really? Think about your whole life … do you want to be safe repeating that SAME pattern?

If these are issues for you, I’d try meditate on these two ideas, after some breathing exercises, and you may find, like I did, that meditation affecting your whole life timeline, going to the deepest crevices of your being, and you will be decontaminated from those thoughts in a couple hours or days.

Don’t be surprised to see your whole physiology changing. This is not just pattern language… my whole body felt it. Use the titanium drill of the paradoxes to destroy those filthy mental microbes.

Best regards, Stephen/Angelo

Ok. Ross here again. This student really got it when he talked about the paradox of fearing failure actually being the biggest guarantee of failure.

You see, as I have said before, it is the meaning you assign to things that determines how you will feel about them. If you assign the meaning that you MUST “succeed” with every beautiful girl you see, you are going to drive yourself nuts with all sorts of unneeded fear and stress.

When you assign the right meaning to things; that you are just practicing and you are intending to fall on your face, just to practice, suddenly it loses its importance and paradoxically, you do a lot better with a lot less effort.

My own personal beliefs about meeting and seducing women are, “Let’s go have some fun with her and find out what she’s like” and “I will either get what I want or learn what I need to in order to get what I want or even better next time”.

Try THOSE on for size, and see what happens to any fear of approaching women.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Ready to claim 2011 as your Vaginal Victory Year?  Inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection you will find over 120 tightly focused, girl-pulling video lessons, including an entire segment on “Blasting Through Stuck Points” – and much much more.  Click here to claim your lifetime, instant online access now.

Dear Speed Seduction® student,

Every once in a while I get such good emails from students, there’s nothing better I can do than to simply let THEM do the talking.

Here’s one of my all-time favorites from my “greatest hits” collection: a student’s “Sarge report” on his plans to approach 100 women. It’s a very long e-mail so I’ll post it in two parts (the second part will be tomorrow).

Dear Ross and seduction brothers,

From talking with the awesome brothers it became obvious from their comments that the only way to get better at walk-ups is to do a lot of them. So one of you suggested this approach, which worked very well: choose a number of walk-ups to do, and go with the EXPECTATION of getting shot down.

That’s somewhat paradoxical but that’s what makes it work. So I set my goal at 100. I’ve already done 50, and this is the half-time report.

It’s been FANTASTIC (aside from getting enthusiastic phone numbers from women who even have boyfriends and very positive responses). Going with the expectation of let me get another one on my list makes things a WHOLE LOT easier. There’s no hurt, no rejection, it’s just another notch. “Here goes number 33.”

INSTEAD of going with the goal of I am going to get this many phone numbers, and feeling good/bad depending on the outcome, go with the goal I’m just going to have fun getting shot down this many times and learning. Then, it’s piece of cake to learn.

SET a concrete number of approaches you want, and do it. You WILL be successful at doing that.

Basically, now, I feel comfortable approaching almost any woman under any condition (the train, a coffee shop, etc.). It really is a LEAP from where I was before.

My state is infinitely more solid… and while I can get better with very attractive women, I lead with much greater ease, I deal with most objections right away, and I’m able to instill comfort/ease/trust almost instantaneously.

I can only imagine what will happen when I get to 100. But I’m not worried about that… I just need to get 50 more under my belt.

Ross here again.  Look: already a great, usable strategy for increasing your success with women – and this is just part 1.

Do you see 100 women per day as you go about your daily life?  How about 100 per week?  Let’s say in the next 14 days you actually approach 100 women instead of just walking by them.  That’s an average of 7 women a day for two weeks.   Let’s say this gets you laid once.  Is that one more time than you would have had otherwise?

Would THAT beat a poke in the eye?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Hey…you can jump start YOUR success with women and join our Speed Seduction® coaching program as well. Membership is just $1 for the first 30 days when you purchase your Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course! Just go to http://www.seduction.com/blog/30/ right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Recently I received an e-mail from a student who is in a sort of purgatory with a woman he met a few weeks ago.

I’ll let him explain it in his own words:

Hey Ross, there is this hottie (I’d say about an HB8) who I’ve met up with a few times.  She’s kind of shy, but intelligent and fun once I get her to loosen up.  The first meet-up was a nice evening at a coffee shop.  The second, we hung out for a while at a quiet little saloon near her apartment.  The third time, we went to dinner.  Now, not only is this not going in the direction I want it to, but her behavior is perplexing.

The third time, I had planned a “Part II” but she seemed distracted the whole time, and even said “can we go?” as soon as the dinner was over.  So I dropped her off and figured it was “Exit, Stage Left” time for this guy.  Fair enough.  Yet, not 30 minutes later she was texting me about what a wonderful time she had and when can we do it again, and all that.  I think I want to see her again, but not if her plan is for us to have dinner once a week, which seems to be where she is trying to take this, which is what I am resisting.

I guess what I’m asking is, how do I determine if she is simply viewing me as her “meal ticket” (literally) or if she might be playing hard to get, just shy, wanting to go to the next step but not finding her own reasons to get there and not knowing how to ask me, etc.?

First of all: I think this confusion could trigger some very supplicating behavior on your part if you don’t watch it.  You’ve already bought her dinner and you didn’t mention the part where you banged her so I’ll assume you haven’t yet. You’re already headed down that slippery slope, one nudge away from a free-fall and you better hope you don’t get splinters in your ass if the slope is wooden.

Hey, your emotions are on the line here and your clarity too. You want to move this to the next level and you think she’s trying to corral you into being her standing “dinner date.”  If you sense something is up, CALL HER ON IT in a firm, calm, and relaxed way.

The bottom line is: only she can tell you what is going on. You can approximate or guess, but that is all it is.

So, if you can’t get your primary outcome (getting her enthusiastic to fuck you) what steps can you take, what moves can you make to AT LEAST MOVE IN THE DIRECTION OF THE KIND OF MAN YOU WANT TO BE AND THE KIND OF MAN YOU ARE ALREADY EVERDAY BECOMING? WHAT MOVES WILL BEST STRETCH YOU IN THE MOST USEFUL WAYS?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Need to find your way out of the “pattern” of buying drinks at bars or clubs hoping that will get women to like and sleep with you, or taking women on expensive dinner dates hoping that’ll get them in your bed?  Or, worse yet, avoiding falling into this “trap”? All of this, and more, is inside Speed Seduction® 3.0.  Click here to get yours now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Many guys are so concerned that they might flub their lines or look silly when approaching women, that they never find the energy to get started.  Even experienced girl-getters sometimes need a little boost.

So, take down the “Manny The Martian” exercise and you’ll have an automatic, “on tap” opener whenever you need it:

anxiety4-mannythemartian

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Are you sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to meet them?  Then check out my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course and turn it around, starting now!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

I’ll tell you a big reason why a lot of guys don’t approach women: fear of embarrassment.

Hey, you’re walking up to this chick who you’ve never met before, you know nothing about her, and for all you know, she could be one of those meanies who gets her kicks off kicking guys in the nuts (metaphorically or literally).

Even in less drastic scenarios, you feel like you’re putting yourself on a limb.

What if you “draw a blank” mid-Sarge?

What if she throws you a curveball and you miss your swing?

What if she says something unforeseen that just floors you?

What if she’s so cold to you that just by being snooty and ignorant to you, she reduces you to a muttering, empty shell of a man as you slink away, sensing that everyone around who was half-listening is now snickering at you.

Stick with me for a moment while I reveal…

The Gift Of Being Embarrassed And How It Gets You More Women Overall

OK, so you took a chance, and the chance took you.  It happens.  What we need to look at right now is your approach to it.

Repeat after me: “Just because it didn’t feel good doesn’t mean it isn’t a useful learning.”

Where do we get the idea that it’s shameful for a competent, able person to f@@k up and even feel lousy about it, at least for a while?  How about a bit of compassion for yourself?

These experiences can make you gun-shy about approaching women, because now you’re conscious it might be a wasted effort.  OK, so you want to avoid all “wasted effort”?  Then don’t breathe. Ultimately, breathing, which sustains your life, is wasted effort, because eventually you’ll die anyway.

Look: when we feel hurt, it is natural to want to protect yourself. But in reality, it just lets the person who hurt you define not only who you were while you were with them, but who you are GOING to be even after they are gone.

Fuck that.  Instead, I see it as a gift.  In sales, you have to go through “no” to get to “yes.”  Same with getting women.  Every “no” you receive simply clarifies your options and gets you closer to “yes”…then the next yes…then the one after that…then three yes-es when all three of the prior “yes”-es (who turn out to be sorority sisters on the cheerleading squad) come home with you at the same time.  (Beats a poke in the eye?  I sure think so.)

Plus, you’ve drawn some useful lessons that sharpen your girl-getting game.  You won’t be feeling embarrassed when she’s riding you reverse cowgirl while screaming “YES, YES, YES!”

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. “It” happens.  And when it does, you need the tools and techniques that help you blast through the tough times and powerfully handle every situation you encounter as you meet and seduce more and more women.  You’ll find that inside Speed Seduction® 3.0.  Check it out.  You’ll be glad you did.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ever had it happen where a woman’s “talk” takes giant, behemoth strides… but her “walk” is more like her standing in place?

You find that most (if not) all the time, you are the one initiating any kissing or making out or making whoopee or making-what-have you.  Not only that, but half the time her reaction is more tepid than water that’s just been sitting in a cup on the table since last night.

Sometimes, it feels like she’s actually holding her mouth still while you’re trying to kiss her.

BUT: between meetings you get all kind of texts and voicemails and e-mails from her.  She tells you she can’t wait to get her hands on you, she’s going crazy thinking about you and what she’s going to do when she sees you next.  But when you do see her, she’s so reserved she might as well have a “RESERVED” sign on her.

So, you ponder and wonder…

… What’s Going On That’s Taking Away Her Playful Thunder?

Let me preface by saying: a woman’s current response should rarely be taken as her final decision or answer.  It’s a response to what’s going on with her (emotionally, environmentally, and elsewise-ally) AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

It’s also possible, especially when there are many moments like these, that she doesn’t have much experience with men and is trying out some new ways of talking, if not acting, with you.

Also, she’s conflicted: she would like to be more emotionally intimate, in theory, but in fact, in the flesh, it scares her.

Sort of like a guy who would LOVE to approach and pick up a hot girl but he’s scared, so his behavior is contradictory. He takes a few steps towards her and then veers off.

Here’s the thing…

She wants to “go there”.  Many a time, she’s gazed longingly upon the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle wanting to have a little “lift off”.  But she just can’t quite figure out how to get to the station.  That’s where YOU come in.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Having the skills and confidence to stimulate any woman’s subconscious sexual triggers using your words is one of the best skills in the world to have because it will give you complete seduction mastery even over the choosiest (or shyest) women. Click here to learn how you, too, can have it…