Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ever had it happen where a woman’s “talk” takes giant, behemoth strides… but her “walk” is more like her standing in place?

You find that most (if not) all the time, you are the one initiating any kissing or making out or making whoopee or making-what-have you.  Not only that, but half the time her reaction is more tepid than water that’s just been sitting in a cup on the table since last night.

Sometimes, it feels like she’s actually holding her mouth still while you’re trying to kiss her.

BUT: between meetings you get all kind of texts and voicemails and e-mails from her.  She tells you she can’t wait to get her hands on you, she’s going crazy thinking about you and what she’s going to do when she sees you next.  But when you do see her, she’s so reserved she might as well have a “RESERVED” sign on her.

So, you ponder and wonder…

… What’s Going On That’s Taking Away Her Playful Thunder?

Let me preface by saying: a woman’s current response should rarely be taken as her final decision or answer.  It’s a response to what’s going on with her (emotionally, environmentally, and elsewise-ally) AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

It’s also possible, especially when there are many moments like these, that she doesn’t have much experience with men and is trying out some new ways of talking, if not acting, with you.

Also, she’s conflicted: she would like to be more emotionally intimate, in theory, but in fact, in the flesh, it scares her.

Sort of like a guy who would LOVE to approach and pick up a hot girl but he’s scared, so his behavior is contradictory. He takes a few steps towards her and then veers off.

Here’s the thing…

She wants to “go there”.  Many a time, she’s gazed longingly upon the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle wanting to have a little “lift off”.  But she just can’t quite figure out how to get to the station.  That’s where YOU come in.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Having the skills and confidence to stimulate any woman’s subconscious sexual triggers using your words is one of the best skills in the world to have because it will give you complete seduction mastery even over the choosiest (or shyest) women. Click here to learn how you, too, can have it…

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Another aspect of showing up attractive is learning to develop a good relationship to uncertainty, anxiety, and not knowing what the fuck is going to happen.

Many guys come to me wanting “confidence” with women. But what they are really saying is they want what I call “performance confidence”.

What is “performance confidence”?  That’s easy to explain.

If you’ve done something very well 5,000 times, it is reasonable to expect you will do well on the 5,001st attempt.

The challenge for many guys in this game is that they want the performance confidence, PRIOR to doing any performing.

So they wind up never performing, never being confident and never getting any real world skill.

Or any moist pink relief either.

Love Your Anxiety As You Love Yourself, And Soon You Will Be Loving Your Neighbor’s Wife Too!

The solution I’ve found that works best is to reshape a student’s definition of “confidence” into what I will define here as “acceptance confidence”.

Acceptance  confidence has the following components:

1. The skill of being present with the raw, physical sensations of anxiety, without fighting them, resisting them or trying to make them change or go away, but also and equally without feeding them by telling yourself that your anxious feelings mean you are going to fail or it is time to run away.  Don’t feed, don’t fight AND don’t flee!

(Let me just add that very few humans can be present with raw physical sensations like this. It takes training and practice. But it opens up some wonderful choices in life that few people will ever experience and that alone makes you very, very attractive on some interesting and non-verbal levels. More about this later)

2. The skill of deciding what you are going to do, once you experience the anxiety, without fighting or feeding or fleeing.  It basically comes down to a simple acknowledgment of what is going on and then a choice . As in, “I don’t know what is going to happen with this girl, I don’t like that I don’t know, and let’s go talk to her, have some fun, and find out what she is like!”

3. A deep realization about the meaning  and information content of “anxiety”.   Your experience of internal anxiety has zero information value about what will happen with that girl you’d like to meet. It is not a sign you are about to fail or be humiliated in the world. It has no information value about anything happening outside of your own skin. It is only a sign of an internal neurological event.

4. Finally, taking on some powerful beliefs and attitudes about learning.   Since I’m such an awesome teacher, here are the main ones:

A. I will either enjoy getting what I want, or enjoying learning what I need to get what I want or better.

B. I can, will and do decide what I learn from each and every event, choice, action and situation.

C. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

D. When I don’t know what to do, I make the choice and take the action that moves me even closer to the kind of person I am already more and more becoming

Once a student has mastered, in action, the essentials of acceptance confidence, then and only then is he ready to take on rehearsal confidence, another key component of showing up attractive. And I’ll probably talk about that in the next post.

Your comments and feedback are essential to this series continuing. So please post them below!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If enjoying damn near ridiculous levels of success, satisfaction and pleasure with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then clicking here could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

I’ve had several students ask me why the following happens:

You’ve connected with a woman and brought her to “that place” where she is ready to “go for it.” It started with her giving you a curious “uhhhh, can I help you?” glance when you first approached her, and in less time than you thought, she’s now naked and on your bed and…yes…it’s on.

Just NOW, for some reason, Private Wood stops standing at attention.  He slouches on the job and can’t get back up.  Even when she goes into “drill instructor mode” (don’t you love when she gets all dominatrix-like?), your Johnson insists on tripping you up.

HOWEVER…you don’t THINK it’s erectile dysfunction: after all, normally things are “functioning” correctly.  You don’t have a problem “enjoying” fantasies or your favorite porno.  You can close the deal with Rosie and her sisters on a moment’s notice, every time.  So overall, you believe the machinery works.

“It” seems to happen ONLY when you’re actually boarding the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle with a live woman.

Let me get it out of the way: see your doctor anyway.  Every day of “I really SHOULD see a doctor” is 1,440 minutes of self-imposed flaccidity that might not have to be.  It’s YOUR life, only you can live it.

Now that we have that out of the way (made that appointment yet?), let me ask you three questions.

1. Think back to your feelings when Private Wood went AWOL.  What came up for you? Nervousness?  Fear?  Worry you might not “stand up” in the ranks of her previous lovers?  Something in your head saying “I shouldn’t be doing this?”
2. When it happened, how did you react? Did you give up?  Seek her support in getting things back on track?  Switch to pleasing her for a while until things started “looking up” for you?
3. How did SHE react? Did she throw you out (or get up and leave)?  Or did she say, with a sly grin and a cute gleam in her eye, “Hmmm, seems the ol’ hard drive is booting up a little slow.  Where’s the CD-ROM for this, so we can stick it in and get it spinning?”

It’s called “performance anxiety” because you’re anxious, not because you’re a bad person or something’s necessarily wrong with you.  (Though you still need to check with your doc – got that appointment booked?  The receptionist and/or the nurse, not to mention the doctor herself, might be sizzling hot and looking for a man like you.)

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Need the mechanism that brings up whatever it is that’s keeping you down?  For the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system that untangles the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys at an very underachieving level, click here to start finding your way to full-strength.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Today, the movie Going The Distance opens in theaters.

For those who haven’t heard, it’s a “romantic comedy” (yet another attempt by the romance industry to turn smart men into Average Frustrated Chumps or AFCs) about a man and a woman who meet, have a “summer fling” and then travel back and forth between San Francisco and New York City to see one another.

I am not telling you to NOT see the movie.  If you do, try to have compassion for the male character, Garrett, who according to the IMDb.com description of the movie “…has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want… he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language…” (FYI, I’m in Los Angeles.  Garrett, write to me, let’s do some private coaching.)

Second, I am not telling you to NOT ever engage in a long-distance relationship. I AM going to caution you about some of the realities associated with long term relationships.

Why “Going The Distance” Might Get You Further Away
From Suck-Sess With Women, Near And Far

Long distance relationships sometimes work.  Here’s something to keep in mind, if you are thinking about placing yourself in one.

You’ll be doing a LOT of communicating by email, phone, and IM.  Now, it’s one thing IF you have already been f@@king like weasels BEFORE “long distance” and “relationship” become part of the same statement (like, if one of you gets a job in a new city, the other can’t move because of THEIR work, but you together decide to try to make it work).

But if you declare yourself “in a relationship” with some stranger (and yes, she is a stranger) you met on the internet PRIOR to f@@king, you run the danger of her merely enjoying the fantasy attention.  I see WAY too much of this happening anymore.  One of two things will happen.

1. When you guys “take the plunge” and decide to meet in person, you might get an email from her the day before your flight where it becomes clear to you that all that “ooooohh” and “aaahhhh” and “I waaaaannnttt yyyooouuuu” she was typing in the “naughty box” was just her acting out a fantasy.
2. She’ll find a man locally who can please her, and she’ll hit the power-off button on you, since at that point you’re just “words on a screen.”

Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first SERIOUS physical pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER we’ve “gone the distance” in the sack.

And one question for you: if you are in a long-distance relationship, is it really a relationship, or a crutch so you don’t have to risk “going the distance” with the wonderful, willing women who are HERE, NOW?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If I were on the writing team for Going The Distance, I’d add a scene where Garrett goes to my website and orders Speed Seduction® 3.0.  It would make for a pretty short movie, though, as he wouldn’t have had to work nearly as hard to claim the success with women he deserves.   Ready to “go the distance” with your girl getting game?  Click here to learn how

Dear Speed Seduction® Students,

The overwhelming majority of you have responded by saying you want me to discuss my discoveries and thoughts regarding showing up attractive.

So here we go with that part of the discussion. I’ll be posting videos as well as written articles and I encourage your feedback.  As in my live events, the more you participate the more you receive from me.

Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Over the years, I’ve noticed that guys who come to this work are significantly getting in their own way by reinfecting and reinforcing  the very patterns of thinking and acting  that have been keeping them stuck. As by I’ve said, it’s very difficult to free yourself from your prison when you are consistently re-creating the prison from moment to moment.

Rumination, Rehearsal And Ruins

Whenever I give a talk or teach a seminar, one of the first questions I ask is: “How many here dwell on their mistakes with women? Raise your hand if you spend a lot of time running your mistakes or disappointments over and over in your head.”

At least 70 percent of the room will raise their hand.  The other remaining 30% are either returning students who are doing very well with women thanks to studying and applying my material or they are too embarrassed to raise their hands.

The fact is that ruminating on mistakes, disappointments and fuck-ups is a very common human activity, and even more common for the men who are seeking massive improvement in their love and sex lives.

The next question I always ask is: how many here think they are doing this because they have “low self-esteem”?  Or a “fear of success”?  Or because Mommy made them stay down in the basement and dress like a girl?

There is, in fact, only one reason “why” you might dwell on your mistakes with women: you are trying to find a solution to the situation so you can do better and enjoy the results you want.

But here is the thing: if you could have figured it out that way, you would have done so by now.  That process just doesn’t work, no matter what kind of content you put through it.  No matter what you put in the refrigerator it is never going to be a toaster. That’s not its purpose, function or design.

Even Worse…

Here is the greater challenge: dwelling on mistakes, over and over, is actually a very effective way to virtually guarantee the mistake gets repeated.

The basic rule is this: there is no basic difference between what you dwell on, over and over again, and what you rehearse. And what you rehearse over and over again, is basically what you are programming your brain to do.

Which means this: the very act of dwelling and ruminating on mistakes almost certainly guarantees you will achieve the opposite of what you intend.  Rather than find a solution to the challenge, you will program back in the error.

There is far, far more to say about this.  But for now I’d like to invite your feedback on this.   Tell me what you think and if you think it is an accurate picture of one of the challenges you have faced or currently do face.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. With an effective, sure way to learn from every situation, you will develop a “stealth charisma” that is subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone.  Click here to learn how, starting now…

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Want to have two chicks at the same time?

So many of my students either have, or want to, that I’m thinking of adding it to a “bucket list” of must-haves that every smart guy must experience at least once, if for no other reason than to know he “went there.”

Problem: many women won’t “go there.”

Why?  Oftentimes it’s societal “rules.” It breaks a taboo to engage in any sort of group sex, or anything other than one man and one woman doing it.  You’d think that the ticket booth at the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle only sells tickets in pairs.  Not true.

Sometimes, she’s skiddish.  Or afraid of unanticipated consequences.  Or maybe she really doesn’t want to touch another girl, and she isn’t sold on your “promises” that it will be her and her best friend working on you, but not each other.  Maybe she’s worried you’ll like her friend better (it could be a competition or ego thing).

The “Warming Question” That Breaks The Ice And Gets You Closer To The Triple Play

Now: the following is something I almost never just hand out.  So you’ll want to write this down, print it, bookmark this post, whatever the f@@k you have to do so you don’t lose it.  Ask this question:

“If you could go somewhere where no one knew who you were, and nothing you did would ever get back to anyone you did know, what kinds of experiences would you like to have, with what kind of person, with what kind of feelings?”

Then add:

I find when I LET THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS run through YOUR MIND, it’s the kind of thing that let’s me realize that sometimes YOU WANT TO SUCK SEED in stripping away from every day life, now and again, and FEEL YOUR OPENING to something novel..some new..A NEW DIRECTION you can IMAGINE TAKING INSIDE.

Now…when you ask that question you will get the following kinds of responses:

1. A vivid response with a vivid description.
2. A vivid response with a non-vivid description. They just go inside, access the thoughts and the states. Often they blush or look embarrassed
3. A non-vivid response with a vivid description(they describe it vividly but for some reason they don’t access the feelings-this is most rare)
4. A confused response. They don’t get what you mean
5. A defensive response.

I’m looking for 1 & 2. 3 can be worked with as well. 4 is possible if they also show a willingness to understand. Forget 5.

Ever tried this (or something like it?)  How did it work out for you?  (Leave a comment below).  Or, go out and do it and then report back here how it went.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. You think that’s something?  That’s just a small taste of the level of girl-getting power and knowledge you’ll find in my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course.  Click here to learn more!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ten weeks.

In the grand scheme of things, not a lot of time.  Most people I know have gone at least ten weeks between a job interview and getting the job.  Some of the worst TV shows ever have lasted at least ten weeks before they mercifully pulled the plug. Many musical acts go from club acts to Top 40 legends selling out 20,000+ venues… in 10 weeks.

Ever been told that something would happen “within sixty days”?  Well, ten weeks is just sixty days with an extra week and change thrown in.

If you observe Halloween (a holiday less scary than Desperate Supplicators’ Day on February 14), that’s less than ten weeks away from right now.

So, what could YOU accomplish in ten weeks?  How could life be different for you, in ten weeks?

When students ask me “how long does it take for this stuff to work?” I ask them back: when you apply my girl-getting teaching, think what it could be like in ten weeks, if you start right now.

Not only having the confidence, but actually having it be commonplace and routine, to walk right up to any woman, anytime, anywhere.

Knowing that if she throws you a curveball, you’ll not only catch it, but you’ll pitch it back (straight into her glove).  And you’ll score a home run with her.

Instead of being a guy who waits, you’ll be a man who powerfully claims his choice of the most beautiful, appealing, exciting, compatible women.

Hell, imagine within ten weeks, going from a dry spell to getting laid repeatedly.  One of my students tells me again and again how in less than ten weeks (more like 20 days) he went from hoping that some hot chick might like him someday, to hoping he remembered to pick up the other bedclothes from the laundry because he had a “squirter” in his bed.

It takes effort.  It takes sticktoitiveness.  So does learning to ride a bicycle.  But once you acquire and master the skills, you’ll be two-wheeling for life.

What will YOUR life be like in ten weeks from now? Hell, what will it be like on December 31 (just over 16 weeks away) when you size up how the year has gone for you?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to get there faster?  You need a roadmap, an interactive here’s-exactly-how-to that lays out your girl-getting plan for you.  Plus, will things go a lot smoother if, no matter what, you’ll never have a 25-pound cat hanging off your tongue when you’re trying to chat it up with the ladies?  Click here to get your roadmap, today.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

OK…so you’re doing some street Sarging and you come across a really hot chick (let’s say she’s an HB9 right now, and will look even hotter OUTSIDE that cute jogging suit).

You’re feeling an adventure coming on… you wonder… “Here on the street she’s a lady… but what’s she like between the sheets?

Is the type of woman who gets really turned on by taking a risk?  Being naughty? “How can I use the information she’s going to give me when I open the conversation to ignite her passion and get her to take a risk with me?” you wonder to yourself.

Let’s Bring The Bad Girl Out: How Ya Gonna Get Her To Ride The Bronco?

First, you need to be aware of the concept of conversational THEMES. These are overall topics of conversation that steer, direct and guide things.  I typically have 4-5 different places I can go, conversationally:

1. Questions/observations/challenges to/about her
2. Demos, games, quizzes, jokes, poems
3. Connections.
4. Indulgence (escape / adventure / cravings
5. Sex. But be careful about going to that too soon, too directly.

My preferred “m.o.” is to get her talking, gather information about her, get her to generate her own responses.

Give her the sense that I am curious about her, somewhat interested, and am asking questions out of curiosity and also because I am screening her. I find that giving the sense that you are screening and that THEY are being screened increases their response potential for the rest of what you do.

Also, throughout this, evaluate her and get her overall vibe. Is the an adventurous woman with a history of f@@king guys right off the bat? Is she more of a “romantic” type (but perhaps with a hidden, naughty side that really WANTS to experience a quick f@@k or some nasty, “bad” sexual acts)?

Bottom line though: get her talking. Use her responses, fed back through any of the above as a way of amping up the situation, testing at each step for physical readiness.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Seem like a lot?  There’s a lot of places you could go with this that could have all sorts of endings (and beginnings).  What if you knew that no matter what the situation, you had potentially hundreds of conversations, on tap and ready to flow, for every kind of girl (freaky or otherwise)?  How about if you had a methodical step-by-step plan? 

Click here to see two awesome ways you can get this.

… and here they are!

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Right now, click this special link to get your exclusive copies of the Speed Seduction® Language And Conversation Course and Speed Seduction® Technical Manual:

http://www.seduction.com/aug10newcourse/

You’ll also find links to buy both courses, bundled together at a discount. Most of you who commented on my blog on August 7 said you wanted “both” and/or asked for a bundle discount, so I have delivered what you asked for. It’s right there…waiting for you.

Here’s that link again: http://www.seduction.com/aug10newcourse/

P.S. – Questions? Need assistance with placing your order? E-mail us at orders@seduction.com or call (323) 252-1531.

“See you” on the other side!

Peace and piece,
RJ

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

A week or so ago, I posted this on my blog – a Sarge report from one of my longtime students who had met an HB8, had a few meetings in quick succession that led to an all-night makeout session… only to get a text from her the next morning in which she says they shouldn’t see each other anymore because she has a “borefriend.”

Said student read YOUR comments and thoughts and had a reaction along the lines of “DOH! What the f@@k was I thinking?!?!” and decided he’d give it another shot with her. Here’s what happened:

OK Ross, my gut told me to wait till the weekend to try contacting her, so that’s what I did. Meanwhile, on Thursday coincidentally and out of the blue she sent me a text that said “I’m so sorry, I actually don’t have a boyfriend. I wanted to see how you’d react if I did. I shouldn’t have done that.”

On Friday night I texted back “So which is it?” She followed up with basically a repeat of the above. So I called her Sunday (I deliberately dragged this out to build suspense) and she apologized profusely. I let her go on for a minute and then I said “Really, Debbie (not her real name of course), that totally threw me for a loop….I forgive you though.” We chatted for a bit. The plan is to get together this weekend coming up which is the next time our schedules match up. I’m heading over her place.

I’m not going to jump in head first. My other options still open (no “oneitis” here Ross). I’ll give her a mulligan on this one, but I’ll take this one step at a time. Give my thanks to everyone for their comments, especially the “constructive’ ones” I needed that!

You put into place the principle that a woman’s current reaction is rarely, if ever, her ‘final answer’. You remembered it a little late this time, but at least you remembered.  Next time you’ll remember sooner.

With all this suspense building, so long as you weren’t pining over her and agonizing on “what’s the right time to call” and “how long should I wait” and other dum-dum dating-game nonsense (sounds like that’s not an issue for you though).

Now let me aim the long, sharp needle at the balloon that is your ego.  SHE MIGHT NOT BE SINGLE.  Could be she has a boyfriend after all, but liked things with you so much she said what she needed to say to not lose you.  She might be getting ready to serve this guy his walking papers but wanting to interview other candidates first.  Or, maybe she just wants to f@@k around.

Before you come back all “woe is me” and “how did I let myself get suckered in” and all that rot, ask yourself – are ALL of these possibilities acceptable to YOU?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Wouldn’t it be an awesome thing to know that anytime a challenging situation comes up with a woman, you have the tools and wisdom in place to objectively process, and handle, the situation so everything “works out”? Click here to get these tools, starting now.