Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Another aspect of showing up attractive is learning to develop a good relationship to uncertainty, anxiety, and not knowing what the fuck is going to happen.

Many guys come to me wanting “confidence” with women. But what they are really saying is they want what I call “performance confidence”.

What is “performance confidence”?  That’s easy to explain.

If you’ve done something very well 5,000 times, it is reasonable to expect you will do well on the 5,001st attempt.

The challenge for many guys in this game is that they want the performance confidence, PRIOR to doing any performing.

So they wind up never performing, never being confident and never getting any real world skill.

Or any moist pink relief either.

Love Your Anxiety As You Love Yourself, And Soon You Will Be Loving Your Neighbor’s Wife Too!

The solution I’ve found that works best is to reshape a student’s definition of “confidence” into what I will define here as “acceptance confidence”.

Acceptance  confidence has the following components:

1. The skill of being present with the raw, physical sensations of anxiety, without fighting them, resisting them or trying to make them change or go away, but also and equally without feeding them by telling yourself that your anxious feelings mean you are going to fail or it is time to run away.  Don’t feed, don’t fight AND don’t flee!

(Let me just add that very few humans can be present with raw physical sensations like this. It takes training and practice. But it opens up some wonderful choices in life that few people will ever experience and that alone makes you very, very attractive on some interesting and non-verbal levels. More about this later)

2. The skill of deciding what you are going to do, once you experience the anxiety, without fighting or feeding or fleeing.  It basically comes down to a simple acknowledgment of what is going on and then a choice . As in, “I don’t know what is going to happen with this girl, I don’t like that I don’t know, and let’s go talk to her, have some fun, and find out what she is like!”

3. A deep realization about the meaning  and information content of “anxiety”.   Your experience of internal anxiety has zero information value about what will happen with that girl you’d like to meet. It is not a sign you are about to fail or be humiliated in the world. It has no information value about anything happening outside of your own skin. It is only a sign of an internal neurological event.

4. Finally, taking on some powerful beliefs and attitudes about learning.   Since I’m such an awesome teacher, here are the main ones:

A. I will either enjoy getting what I want, or enjoying learning what I need to get what I want or better.

B. I can, will and do decide what I learn from each and every event, choice, action and situation.

C. When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward.

D. When I don’t know what to do, I make the choice and take the action that moves me even closer to the kind of person I am already more and more becoming

Once a student has mastered, in action, the essentials of acceptance confidence, then and only then is he ready to take on rehearsal confidence, another key component of showing up attractive. And I’ll probably talk about that in the next post.

Your comments and feedback are essential to this series continuing. So please post them below!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If enjoying damn near ridiculous levels of success, satisfaction and pleasure with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then clicking here could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

Ten weeks.

In the grand scheme of things, not a lot of time.  Most people I know have gone at least ten weeks between a job interview and getting the job.  Some of the worst TV shows ever have lasted at least ten weeks before they mercifully pulled the plug. Many musical acts go from club acts to Top 40 legends selling out 20,000+ venues… in 10 weeks.

Ever been told that something would happen “within sixty days”?  Well, ten weeks is just sixty days with an extra week and change thrown in.

If you observe Halloween (a holiday less scary than Desperate Supplicators’ Day on February 14), that’s less than ten weeks away from right now.

So, what could YOU accomplish in ten weeks?  How could life be different for you, in ten weeks?

When students ask me “how long does it take for this stuff to work?” I ask them back: when you apply my girl-getting teaching, think what it could be like in ten weeks, if you start right now.

Not only having the confidence, but actually having it be commonplace and routine, to walk right up to any woman, anytime, anywhere.

Knowing that if she throws you a curveball, you’ll not only catch it, but you’ll pitch it back (straight into her glove).  And you’ll score a home run with her.

Instead of being a guy who waits, you’ll be a man who powerfully claims his choice of the most beautiful, appealing, exciting, compatible women.

Hell, imagine within ten weeks, going from a dry spell to getting laid repeatedly.  One of my students tells me again and again how in less than ten weeks (more like 20 days) he went from hoping that some hot chick might like him someday, to hoping he remembered to pick up the other bedclothes from the laundry because he had a “squirter” in his bed.

It takes effort.  It takes sticktoitiveness.  So does learning to ride a bicycle.  But once you acquire and master the skills, you’ll be two-wheeling for life.

What will YOUR life be like in ten weeks from now? Hell, what will it be like on December 31 (just over 16 weeks away) when you size up how the year has gone for you?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Want to get there faster?  You need a roadmap, an interactive here’s-exactly-how-to that lays out your girl-getting plan for you.  Plus, will things go a lot smoother if, no matter what, you’ll never have a 25-pound cat hanging off your tongue when you’re trying to chat it up with the ladies?  Click here to get your roadmap, today.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Let me address the naysayers.  As some of you pointed out, by e-mailing or commenting the various student questions I’ve shared in this week’s “mail bag” series, the answers would SEEM simple.

I won’t quote a specific e-mail here, in this (the last installment of the “mail bag” series for now) because I’ve gotten a handful over the course of the year that say substantially the same thing – someone actually tried to call bullshit on me.  Yeah.  Really.

Now, in some of the cases we’ve studied this past week, there are a couple different ways the situation could have gone (like with the chick who told my student after-the-fact that she has a boyfriend).  But for seasoned, experienced students, the answers seemed, to some of you, almost Captain Obvious.  Yeah, I get that, except…

…There Are Some Additional Ingredients (Literally) Causing A Volatile Brew In Men’s Brains Right Now

Look: here in the States, a lot of energy is spent debating whether marijuana should be legalized.  FORGET Mary Jane for a minute… and let’s discuss the impact of consuming Debbie’s pu@@y, which is a much more potent and mind-altering substance than the grass-like stuff they also use to make paper, rope, and shirts.

Here is just a PARTIAL list of the chemicals that various scientific research studies show get released in your brain every time your ride in the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle reaches its destination: adrenaline (aka epinephrine), dopamine, endorphins, testosterone, oxytocin, serotonin, prolactin, norepinephrine, vasopressin, phenylethylamine, and the list goes on.  (Plus, don’t forget the impact of your ego when the hottest chick you’ve ever nailed tells you “wow, I’ve never actually SQUIRTED before…” as you hope you remembered to pick up the other set of bedsheets from the laundromat.)

These releases do everything from make you want to take a nap right after you finish, to causing a flare-up of Oneitis, and everything in between.  Over time they lead to the eventual transition in relationships where the passion seems to die off even while fondness and long-term attachment grows.

These are also the reasons why you’ll often find that “Exit, Stage Left” is suddenly easier-said-than-done even though it’s “obvious” you need to move on, and “intellectually” you GET it but you can’t seem to DO it.  When your friends starting singing in-chorus that “you can do a lot better than that tramp”, look to your brain for the reasons why you aren’t heeding their advice.

By the way, same thing when you wrestle with Jimmy while thinking about a chick you haven’t had sex with yet.  The chemicals still flow through your brain at the “peak” of your thoughts even though she’s not actually there, and now it’s associated with her every time you think about her or see her.  This leads to Oneitis, which more often than not leads to celibacy.

It’s also the reason why you find yourself highly attracted to women you see in real life who remind you of your favorite porn star (and why you like porn featuring chicks who look like women you really enjoyed f@@king, or want to f@@k but haven’t yet).

Pu@@y needs to be recognized as a controlled substance, I tell you. But even if it was, if getting some was wrong, I wouldn’t want to be right.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Now you know: part of why you might not always use your UPPER head when it comes to women is…due to what’s going on in your brain.  As a logical person who seeks the best life has to offer, doesn’t it make sense to acquire a greater understanding of women’s operating systems and “what’s going on” so you know the playing field and can score more? Click here to take the first step, right now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Join me as I once again reach into my mail bag and pull out another excellent question that was e-mailed to me by one of my best students, someone who has invested in my courses and who regularly follows the Steaming Hot Seduction Secrets.

This one deals with an issue that often comes up: what happens when you call or e-mail or text and leave a message and you don’t hear back from her. Here’s the question:

I normally don’t have problems getting girls, but I recently moved to a new city. I met a local girl who works at the pub just around the corner. She expressed great interest in me, giving me her number (without me asking) and even asking ME out on a date. On this date, she invited me to her place to order take out and watch movies. The conversation was great, and by the end of the night I even gave her a back rub. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before I left, also expressing interest in making another date very soon.

The next day I texted her, just asking how see was doing, she responded by saying she was great, and asked me how I was. I responded by saying I had an awesome day, and left it at that. So I gave it two days before I messaged again, with a short text “What’s going on?”  It’s been three days, and I haven’t heard back. I would greatly appreciate your insight on this, and what I should do from here?

Alright, a few key points here:

First, foremost, important-most, and uppermost: maybe she was at a concert or something when you texted her, wasn’t able to answer, and got sidetracked.  Are you persistent, much? And what’s up with texting?  If you can text her, you have her phone number.  Give her a call.

Here’s the even bigger question: when she expressed interest in setting up another meet very soon, what stopped you from setting up the date and time, THEN AND THERE?  Why did you wait?  You know what they say about guys who wait.

You might also want to check this out, since you’re “new in town.”

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine how great your life will be when you know, with 100% certainty that whenever you see a beautiful woman, anytime, any place, that you know exactly what to do to approach her, get her attracted to you, and seduce her!  Click here to make this happen, starting now.

P.P.S. Even experienced students (like this one) find they need additional, ongoing support from time to time.  EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.  When you click the link above, you’ll also see a chance to get me fast, get me good, and get me live, and try it out for just $1 USD for the first 30 days.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

On Friday I posted the first of two e-mails from actual students who have successfully applied my teachings to succeed with women.  If you missed it, you can check it out here.  (This will open in a separate browser so you can come right back here afterward).

I promised the second e-mail today.  Without further ado, here it is:

Hi Ross, Could use a bit of assistance here… I’ll try to be brief but that’s not my strong-suit – LOL!

Background – I seem to be having a lot of success with neighbors. 1st night closes with both the woman who lives on top of me and the one in front (my complex is a target rich environment!). (Oh, and Ross – the second one happened days after I got back from LA. Thanks again for your time while I was there, and yes, I know she’s also “geographically undesirable”, but oh so desirable in every other way!)

The fling with the girl on top lasted a few weeks; we’re still friends. She was fun and I enjoyed her, but not what I’m looking for long term. The one in front is another matter. She’d be an HB11 on my uncle’s scale (a 9 with money!). She’s the topic of this post.

I’ve known her casually for some time. She’s very reclusive and hard to get to know; she’s lived in front of me for over a year and a half… Does travel a lot with work, but most of the time you’d never know ‘cuz when she is home she’s rarely seen. Over the past few months I’d seen a bit more of her. She came out with her niece and nephew to play with my dog one day and we had a good conversation.

A couple of weeks later, I was out detailing my car and she again came down to chat (very unusual for her!). The following weekend, she was out cleaning HER car and we started chatting, among other things she said that I’d inspired her (one good sign!). She also asked if I knew who lives above her, because they were up all night partying and having sex she couldn’t get any sleep. I blushed, smiled sheepishly and said “That was probably actually us” (the other neighbor had been over the night before, and my bedroom is directly behind this one’s…).

She replied that if was me she wouldn’t complain to the complex, but to get on the floor next time ‘cuz my bed squeaks. I ended up trading a wax job (on the car, not her – LOL!) in exchange for her taking me to happy hour. A few days after that I left town for a while so didn’t get a chance to take her up on the happy hour for a while.

Two days after I got back from my trip (I did some one-on-one counseling in LA with Marilyn Sargent and spent an afternoon with Ross) I ran into her out front. She invited me to come by later to watch a movie, and I countered with her coming to my place since I’ve got a nice home theater. She agreed and showed up a bit later. We decided just to talk & get to know each other
a bit instead of the movie, which culminated in a late night visit to the Jacuzzi and spending the night at her place (hot sex, pussy breath and all!!!). Only two moments of last minute resistance; on the way to the pool I started holding her hand and she said “Wait a minute. We’re holding hands! What about Jeannie (other neighbor)?”  I replied, “Jeannie said she wants to see other people.” which is true, by the way. That settled that.

Then, just as we were getting into bed, she goes, “Hold on, we’re neighbors! Doesn’t that pose a problem for … wait, I guess not. Nevermind…”

~ Brother BB

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If the above story sounds like something that’s a little out of your depth, just repeat this mantra:  My skills. My results. My satisfaction. My world. Mine. Then ask yourself, what would be the logical next step?  Check out my girl-getting courses and see what’s on the shelf that will get you from “here” to “THERE”, starting now.

P.P.S. If you are planning to join us this weekend coming up (August 13-15) in London for our LIVE 3-Day Seminar, there’s still time – but not much!  Click here to learn more.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Every time a smart guy like you steps up to the plate and claims his results with the women he truly desires, without resorting to the 5 Bs (bullying, begging, buying, BS, and booze … and the 6th B, biceps), the first thing I ask is: who will be next?

Right now, I’m asking YOU… will YOU be next?

I was rummaging through some of my “greatest hits” and ran across two of my all-time favorite e-mails, Sarge reports from students who were reporting their incredible results with women, using my system.  It’s possible some of you may have seen these at one point, but I know a lot of you haven’t.  So I am going to share them with you (again).

As you read them, and imagine enjoying these results for yourself, you will notice that these guys give SPECIFIC descriptions of the techniques they used from my courses (and also give some juicy details about what the women did to and WITH them as a result!)

I want you to get excited as you read these two emails and wonder, WHEN WILL I STEP UP AND CLAIM MY GIRL-GETTING GAME SO I CAN ENJOY THESE RESULTS AS WELL?

Here’s the first of the two e-mails.  I’ll share the second one on Sunday, so stay tuned.  (Call me a tease if you want!  Ha Ha Ha)

Hi Ross and Everyone,

An amazing story for me. I met this girl who I went to elementary and middle school with through the Internet. We both used to live in Monterey and grew up around each other, but then I moved to another town and 8 years later we meet in another town.

Story- I instant message girl online, talked for a little while and met the following night. (QUICK NOTE FROM RJ: Notice that he didn’t spend endless time on instant messenger typing into her naughty box.  He moved her quickly to the in-person meet.  That’s how you get in her box FOR REAL, guys.  I don’t recommend meeting women online, but if you do, remember this.  Anyway, back to the story…)

She came over here, I introduced cube game to her, then I talked about how I was learning to be a “blissnotist,” but I didn’t go into detail about it until she came over. I think that made her really curious to meet me. Then I read some poetry and used the loop technique from a newsletter that was sent out before. The we started having wild passionate sex.

Well after we had sex she had mentioned Monterey and how she used to live there and I told her I used to live there, then I asked her what school she went to and the school she named was the same school I went to, then I asked her what her name was again and she said it and I told her I knew someone by that name that went to the same school I went to and that the girl I knew by that name had invited me to go to a special birthday celebration she had for her 15th birthday, where she had to dance at the thing.

Well, I told her I remember telling the girl I knew that I wouldn’t go to her birthday celebration cause I was supposed to dance with her but that I didn’t know how to dance Spanish music. So I never went.

She then paused and looked shock and then she asked me what was the girls last name that I knew and I told her. She suddenly looked even more shocked and then I was kinda shocked by her shockness. She asked me what my name was and well I use a different name when I meet woman from the Internet, but then I told her my first name and last name and she repeated it and said slowly, with a still shocked look on her face “Oh My God, you’re so and so”

Then I pulled out pictures and yearbooks and there we were as youngsters in the yearbooks, me looking like a dork, I always thought she was hot being a cheerleader all throughout the whole time we went to school together. So the mood changed from passionate to being really aware.

We both lived on the same street in Monterey too. She lived just a few houses down from mine. I even described her house to her I, what her yard looked like. I went so far back that I took her to a time when I rode by on my bicycle stopped in front of her house as she was walking towards her front door and smiled at her as she stopped for a second and smiled back. I remembered and described what she was wearing that day. Now we’re seeing each other. I’ve elicited her most important values and they just so happen to match mine which is really good.

Thanks, Ross!

There you have it guys: this is how it’s done.  Check back on Sunday as I’ll have the second e-mail posted then.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Reading this e-mail, you saw how this student naturally applied Speed Seduction® to his ACTUAL girl-getting situation.  It’s so much more than a set of patterns – it’s the mindset, skillset, toolset, and every-other-set you need to master your girl-getting game on EVERY playing field.

Click here to learn how you can get this for yourself, starting now!

Dear Speed Seduction Master-In-Training,

Ever found yourself in a situation where you SWEAR you did everything right with a woman, yet for some reason it seems like the magic “wasn’t there?”

If you haven’t found yourself there at least once, then you’re like the salesman who has never been rejected… meaning you’ve never REALLY put yourself out there… also meaning what you THINK is the biggest score of your life to-date is nothing more than a sample taste of what CAN and WILL be once you do…

Check out this note from a student of mine:

=========================

I just got back from an evening out with a very attractive woman and I’m frustrated. I thought I did everything right – capturing her imagination, using patterns, fractionating, redirecting her vibe, etc. At several points when she seemed “in trance” I leaned in to her and she responded by smiling and leaning in to me.

At the end of the evening I walked her back to her car, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. We agreed to meet again. All well and good? If things are going so well, why do I feel like I managed to capture her imagination but didn’t lead it very well?

It seems to be a bit of a pattern with me. I meet women, get into great conversations with them, steer them towards me, but I don’t seem to be able lead them to places which let them feel interested or comfortable enough to want to go any further.

Like I’m so close, yet can’t cross the finish line?

=========================

OK: Stop right here.  This is SOOO obvious. 

You have a little “block” on getting physical.  You said you leaned in several times and she smiled and leaned back.  So what’s the problem?  You didn’t have to “lead” her anywhere.  She already HAD her ticket to the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle and was waiting for you to take her to lift-off!

Here’s the problem: something in your head is waiting for verbal permission to kiss her!

What is this hug on the cheek bullshit?  Dude, she was probably ready to at least blow you on the spot!

I suggest you change your beliefs about getting physical… and change it NOW!

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. If you’ve ever encountered problems “closing the deal” on your Sarge, I’ve got the accelerator that gets you across the Finish line so you can enjoy the women you really want.

Click here to see what it’s all about!

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

We’ve been following the experiences of my student, and so far it’s been an oft-told story…

… at least one that’s oft-told among my students.

Boy meets Girl.

Boy Sarges on Girl and gets her excited about exploring new worlds without resorting to bullying, begging, buying, BS, or booze (or biceps) or getting stuck in the “friend” trap.

Girl puts up resistance just when Boy thinks he’s about to score big.  Boy confidently and unflinchingly appeals to her vibe and overcomes Girl’s resistance and they’re off to the races.

Well: I’m pleased to report this story has a happy ending and they lived happily ever after. 

Part 3: (Inner) Game On!

From that moment, their subsequent dates went GREAT.  They had a great time.  She was happy with him because he was always doing different and unusual things (well, unusual because she was used to dealing with AFCs).  In doing so he adhered to the principle, “Leave her better than you found her.” He was happy because he was managing a fruitful relationship for the first time in his life.

The relationship is now over, but my student has great memories that he can appeal to every time he needs a positive feeling or “vibe” in his girl-getting game.  As a result of the experience, he’s no longer afraid of exploring his feelings and letting himself live every second without dreading the uncertainty of what’s coming next.

Now, as we wrap up here, I want to focus on a few key points.

1) Notice that he didn’t say anything about “dates” until AFTER they slept together.  He “met” her several times, but he adhered to my teaching: “Dating is what you do with women you’re already sleeping with.” By avoiding the “dating” rituals he actually INCREASED the odds she would become his girlfriend.

2) I said earlier they lived happily ever after.  I did NOT say they lived happily ever after TOGETHER. It doesn’t always work out quite that way, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t work out.

Remember: when you interact with a woman, your goal is not to succeed with her, but to hone and strengthen your girl-getting skills that will lead to success with many other women.

3) That said, if this particular woman turns out to be “the one”, then good on both of you!  If not, the odds just went WAY up that you’ll succeed more often with more women… and that you WILL find “the one” much sooner.

Either way, it sure beats a poke in the eye!

Much peace and many more pieces,
RJ

P.S. Life is fine when you have an effective, sure way to learn from every situation with women, so you develop a “stealth charisma” that’s subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone.  Click here to learn how to get it.

Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,

Yesterday, I shared with you Part 1 of my student’s Sarge report.  We left off with him and his hot, enticing new acquaintance at the bookstore, with him laying the groundwork for irresistible arousal.

So let’s jump to the third meeting….

Part 2: She Taps The Brakes

At their third meeting, riding upon the strong connection already established in the last two meetings, he kissed her and they started making out.  Then – here it comes – her last minute resistance.  My student guessed (correctly) that sex wasn’t on the dessert menu that night.  Maybe this was due to her personal values, her fear of seeming too “easy” or in it for “just one thing.”  Who knows?

Rather than being daunted, he gave her another chance.  He took her out and used the anchoring he did in their previous meetings to rekindle her sense of security and romanticism that she had lacked for a long time.  This time, everything went perfect and even the last minute resistance was easily skipped this time.

When she said, “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, but it’s not going to happen,” my student calmly replied, “Did I ask for that?” This made her seem like she was the only one thinking about sex, so she relaxed.  Everything went great from there.

Well… this is good stuff!

So guys, what can we learn from this?

For me, three things stand out:

1. A woman’s first (or current) response is rarely an indicator of what’s “final.” You have the power to influence that to help her find her way to you – assuming she is, indeed, open and willing.
2. Notice how my student confidently deflected her concerns and put her at ease. For another example of this, check out this story of how I got laid by putting on TWO pairs of pants.
3. Negation is a powerful thing. You should check out this article, too.

Get your ass back here tomorrow when we go “long term” in our view on all this…

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Whatever you can get a woman to imagine, is perceived by her as being her own thought and therefore is not resisted. Therefore, first capture and guide a woman’s imagination and you can then get her to do almost anything you want… and she’ll think it’s her own idea! CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Dear Speed Seduction® Students and Fans,

The terms in which we’re programmed from early on to think of “dating” is what’s tripping so many smart guys up.

Click the Play button below to learn more and then comment to tell me your thoughts:

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. The video clip you’ve just watched is a sample of what I teach at my live, 3-day seminars.   The next dates are in New York in June and London in August.  Have YOU signed up yet?   Click here to learn more.

P.P.S. Ready for something better than the 5 “Bs” and the after-effects of the global responses we’ve been programmed to buy into?  Then, check out my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course by clicking here.