Showing Up Attractive, Part III: The Right Orientation
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
In today’s installment I want to talk about the changes in orientation of thinking that are a big part of showing up attractive.
As I said last time, learning to have a good relationship with uncertainty is important, and in a sense, that helps in orienting a person toward having a fun learning frame when approaching women.
But today I want to talk about a few more shifts in thinking that are very empowering and useful.
Orientation Shift # 1: To First And Foremost Notice What Is Working And What You Are Doing Correctly
Here is a key understanding you need to really get: in an area of life where you have had significant challenges and limitation, it takes training to recognize progress.
If you’ve spent years ruminating and dwelling on mistakes, you have trained your mind to first and foremost notice mistakes. And sometimes only notice mistakes.
This can be a serious handicap to making progress and mastering skills. Because unless you do everything 100% right and the woman you are Sarging responds totally the way you want her to, it is very likely you will view the entire exercise as a failure and slide right back down the learning curve.
So when students come to me for private coaching or a seminar or are part of my on line coaching program, I always require that they first tell me, however large or however small, what they are doing correctly and right.
Don’t under-estimate the power in this shift in thinking and orientation.
Orientation Shift #2: A Bias Toward Action And Experimentation Over “Thinking Things Through”
Too many stuck guys think they can find “answers” by running more content through their internal dialog loop. Or they will spend 100 units of “analyzing” for every one unit of experiment.
I encourage you guys to take on an empiricist orientation toward learning. Which means that you recognize that information about the reality outside of your own skin can ultimately only come down to experiment in the real world.
Try on this affirmation for size: “When I don’t know what to do, I find out by consistent experiment in the real world. “
Orientation Shift #3: De-Thingifying Your World/Looking At And For Process And Activity
This is perhaps a bit more difficult to understand, but the understanding yields amazingly great benefits. In fact, without this understanding I would say your ability to use Speed Seduction(R) will be restricted. Once you get this understanding, everything flows much easier.
Here’s the idea: our language encourages us to turn into “things” that which is really ongoing activity and process.
Want examples?
Think of the term “attraction”. There’s a big idiot in this industry who likes to say, “Attraction isn’t a choice”.
No; “attraction” isn’t a “thing”. It’s a neurological activity that takes place inside of the person who is doing the activity and therefore having the experience. Outside of that neurological activity and process, “attraction” can’t even be said to exist. It’s not even about a “quality” in you. It’s about the ongoing activity IN THE OTHER PERSON.
Whether it is attraction, love, confidence or any other “thing” you’d like to have or experience, the reality is that what is actually taking place is an ongoing process; a flow of activity with components, sequence, varying levels of intensity, etc.
This is a crucial understanding in which to participate. Because once you get it, you begin to be able to see the the processes and activities that drive the people with whom you wish to play, influence and seduce.
And rather than thinking of the experiences/activities./processes that it would benefit you to command as “things” or “qualities” or events that happen TO you, they become what you create. And that is where real power can be enjoyed.
Let me know your thoughts on this. And please, please, do me a favor and tweet and Facebook this post (use the buttons above). It will really help me get the word out to those who need to see the intelligence and power of this teaching.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Would you like me to do a live video broadcast seminar on this subject? Only those who Tweet and Facebook (using the buttons above) will get the invite! So get out there and tell people!
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