Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

We’ve been hearing since childhood about how some guys just have a “way with women.”

For some reason, they’ve just “got it.”  Seems like they can get any girl they want.  They’re always in the company of beautiful women.

Here’s a note from a student that drives this point home:

> I had a friend who was a real natural.
>
> He said he would simply put his hand on her hip, and talk to her, while moving her hip about.

No… No… NO.

Look beneath the obvious and see what is really going on.

What is this guy doing with his intent, his will and his energy/vibe?

Get that down FIRST and then look at the pieces of behavior: where he puts his hand and where he moves her body.

How can you get a sinfully succulent co-ed steaming hot for you… so hot she’s turning beet red (in the moment, then all the next day at work)?

Without putting your hand on her hip or dancing with her.  Or even touching her.

I keep pointing at the moon.
You CONTINUE to stare at my finger.

Listen: it’s an axiom in science that if you look beneath the obvious things that people take for granted you will find out things everyone else is missing.

Does time flow uniformly, at the same rate, for all frames of reference? So it appears but in fact, it does not. Einstein looked behind and beneath the “obvious” truth to discover what is really going on.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. “Building Skill At Feel” is a pathway to true masculine power with women.  This is among the many things you learn in Showing Up Attractive, the companion course to Sexual Aggression Mastery.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Sometimes it’s the seemingly softball questions that really get my creativity flowing.  A student asked me:

“So Ross, how do you suggest us newbie’s work our way to mastery?”

Wow. If I were to map it out, I would divide it up like this:

1) Understanding. This means you understand HOW women create their emotions. You get that the key is:

• Women already think and talk to themselves and to others in the Speed Seduction® Language. Meaning the “patterns” and such aren’t something I just made up. They are reflections/restatements of the way women think ALREADY. And that is why they work.
• It’s most important to think in terms of what emotions you want women to feel-what emotional states you want them to be in when they think about you. Get the emotions flowing first and the actions you want her to do will follow.
• Think of womens’ psyches/minds/personalities as a big ship with many smaller compartments. You want to activate/energize those “compartments” that contain her emotions/feelings/imagination for escape, fascination, connection, desire, indulgence, arousal, daring etc.

2) State control. You learn to control your state. That means you develop a good working relationship with uncertainty, confusion and frustration as well as being able to create and design more pleasant, “positive” states like confidence, certainty, etc.

State control isn’t just about how you are when you are with women. It’s about how you are when you review your progress with women, the mistakes you made, the things you did right etc.

3) Rehearsal and practice. You learn a good strategy to rehearse how you want to sound, look, act, re-act. You rehearse this outloud before you go out. You then go out and practice IN THE WORLD, as much as you can, whenever and wherever you can. 

4) Designing your vibe and meaning. You get that the meaning you give your practice in the world is important. That “sarging” women is best viewed as a fun way to improve your skills, not a “do or die” mission that you MUST succeed at. The meaning isn’t, “I hope this works” or “What if I fail?” The meaning is, “Let’s go have some fun and see what I can do in the world with this person.”

You learn to design a vibe that is grounded, out-ward oriented(instead of attending to the dialog in your head) and willing to f@@k it up and have fun.

5) You get the most useful orientation. This means that first and foremost:

• You always notice what has worked, what you are doing right. You do not allow yourself to look at mistakes, feel frustrated etc UNTIL YOU FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE everything you are doing correctly, even the smallest step or element.
• You develop an action orientation. This means when you feel stuck or don’t know what to do, YOU TAKE ACTION IN THE WORLD instead of trying to figure it out in your head. You let your experiments, over time, with repetition and multiple trials, tell you what really works and what you can do.
• You realize the world has no guarantees other than dying, so you determine to design your life and make it worth remembering, rather than let your past, your peers or even your present situation tell you who you have to be, what you can do, and what you can enjoy.

6) You develop a practice that allows you to see where you have been going wrong, without being upset or believing you have to be that way anymore. The practice gets to the point where you see the mistaken/old ways of thinking and acting BEFORE you do them, so you can correct course BEFORE you hit the rocks. In other words, you have a meditation practice.

7) You get the best goddamn coach and guide in the world – that would be me.

Any questions?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. One of the fastest ways to get me is to join my Coaching Program which includes live interaction – “Ask Me Anything” group coaching sessions as well as one-on-one office hours.  Get me fast, get me good, get me live, get me now – click here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the biggest questions we get from students once they actually start going into the field and getting experienced using the tools and mastering the skills has to do with anchoring.

How do you capture her vibe, figuring out what moves her and motor-vates her, so that with just one gesture, word or suggestion you can bring it back at will?

One student of mine shared a story about a lunchtime meet he had with a woman who made a point of taking him to her favorite cafe and buying him a slice of their “famous” cheesecake.  She wanted him to experience the cheesecake and know how good it was.  (AHA!)

He asked her to tell him how she felt when she ate it. She got extremely excited, trying to get him to feel the feeling.

Challenge: he couldn’t quite figure out how to “anchor” that excitement so he could draw upon it at will.

Actually, it’s pretty simple:

Just tap something; tap your fork on the table or against your other hand.

But then LEAD the conversation: “I think you learn so much about people by learning where you FIND YOUR PLEASURES-me…it teaches you so much more when you learn how a person WANTS TO INDULGE…Debbie.

See how we put in suggestions and commands?

“Like, my friend likes to ask people; if you could go somewhere, where no one knew who you were…and nothing you did would get back to anyone who DID know…what kinds of things could you PICTURE YOURSELF DOING…me…I can’t help but THINK OF THAT QUESTION, from time to time.”

Etc etc etc.

See how easy this can be when you know where you want you and her to be going?

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S.  Did you like that example? Want a whole lot more?

Get your hands on over 60+ hours of my latest, greatest teachings by claiming your access to over 50 (no, make that 60) hours of real and raw footage from my latest four (actually FIVE) seminar.  Includes lots of “Ross plays with girls” demos so you see egg-zactly how it’s done.  Grab the Speed Seduction® Total Immersion 2011 Seminar Footage Collection now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the premises that I lay (haha) down for my students is that there are four vibes that women find appealing.  A key to effective Sarging is knowing when, and how, to shift these vibes.

Watch this video (where our Chief Furball Officer, Tazzleberry Cat, makes a cameo appearance):

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. This video lesson is ripped right out of the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection, where you’ll find more than 120 laser-focused lessons like this one, plus dozens of hours of coaching call recordings, bonus courses, and e-books you cannot get ANY-WHERE else.

Click here to learn more, crack open the vault, and claim your Virtual Vaginal Victory in 2011.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

A student of mine reported a challenge he was facing.  When using various seduction patterns, he found the same thing kept happening.  He was getting the “B answer” result that might have kept conversation going – as opposed to the “A answer” which would have been a turbo-charged ride on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.

Let’s hear from him:

> Hi guys, today I’m stuck at home, and I was just going true my sarge journal. I noticed that most of the time I used the natural vs social pattern I ended up in a in intellectual discussion instead of becoming more of an authority in her world. Now that I think about it I’ve had the same problem with a pattern. I don’t know what it is called but it’s a combination of apposition of opposites and the fascination pattern. Do any of you guys have recognize something you might have done wrong in the past and that I can pay attention to. Or do you have any ideas how I can prevent these patterns from becoming an intellectual discussion and turn them into trance generators?

OK, RJ here again.

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: what attitude, energy and “vibe” about yourself is being communicated ACROSS and along with the “words”?

Are you communicating a crying need for approval? Are you hiding BEHIND the patterns, hoping against hope she won’t notice what a “geek” you are? What is the message about yourself that is being communicated along with the pattern language?

Listen: I’ve said it over and over and over and newbies don’t LISTEN AND GET IT NOW -

Think of the “patterns” as being more than the memorized “speeches”.

ANYTHING that opens her imagination and emotions is a “pattern” including your attitude, energy, what you notice and use in her responses, the questions you ask her, etc. etc. etc.

Now, think about this: if you wanted to send a 1,000 volt current, would you try to conduct it across a sheet of cardboard or a sheet of gold foil?

Equally good current, but the conductive medium matters.

Your attitude and energy and belief are the conductive medium across which the “voltage” of the pattern language will either go straight to her or simply go nowhere.

Second: have you ever really used your imagination and gotten some of the experience that you are describing in whatever “patterns” you are using? Do they reflect anything YOU have actually dreamed about, imagined, or experienced or are they merely empty words?

Third: Some women don’t get “abstract” concepts. Some have to have you address THEM directly: what excites them, what THEY enjoy what THEY do when they want to escape, get away, indulge themselves. Only AFTER that, can they at all open to more abstract discussions, like Natural vs. Culturally programmed woman.

How can you tell, in advance, if she’ll respond to more abstract patterns like Natural vs. Culturally programmed? Well, experience, in the field. But I would not start out with this pattern, especially with younger women. Save it for women in their late 20′s at least.

Start out with things that deal with HER world, and her direct experiences. If she responds well, build on that.

Make sure you also fractionate along the way; occasionally return to “fluff” talk. Challenge her to make sure she is adventurous enough and has a good enough imagination to explore these kinds of things.

Remember finally: THE pattern of ALL patterns is to watch her responses and utilize them! If she isn’t responding, back up, change themes, change what you are presenting, etc. etc. etc.

There is no “one” memorized pattern that works all the time for all women. Give up that fantasy. I have done “Incredible Connection” for years and some women melt into puddles in seconds, others NEVER GET IT.

So f@@king what? I haven’t just given you a single shot flintlock pistol. I’ve given you a 6,000 round per minute Phalanx II super-Gatling gun with unlimited ammo, to use a hostile metaphor.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. At our live 3-day Speed Seduction® seminars, you’ll learn smart, workable, systematic stuff like: how to use anything in the environment or situation to always know exactly what to say; how to make observations about her that engage her attention and create connection and fascination; and much more.

Click here to claim your seat now…

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

This is the first of two mini-lessons on hooking her interest that I’ll be sharing.  The second will arrive in a couple days.  (I know, I know, I’m a tease.)

What are some of the key, initial factors that come into play when approaching women that can enable you to hook or get attention initially?

It begins with a very important concept.  The first five minutes are designed to get her invested in the transaction. Yes, you can create connections, get her sexually turned on, etc. Remember, in the first five minutes, if you get her invested and really interested in talking to you more, you’ve gotten the job done for that portion.

Here’s what can hook attention: She might hook into the vibe you present as your approach.

Let me break that down for you.

First of all, she may hook in psychically. She may be really sensitive to NLP.

She could hook into the theme that you introduce. She may just like the theme that you introduce.

She may hook into the format you use. For example, she may really like jokes, games, quizzes and curiosity.

She may hook in to the vibe, theme, format or analog.

She may really love your voice. Many women initially tell me they just love how masculine my voice was.

She may hook in to the fact that you don’t care that she’s not hooking in. If she’s not hooking and you don’t care and are fine with it, that may really get her attention.

As part of that, she may hook into how comfortable you are with her first response. Let’s say she’s a little bit nasty or skeptical and you just laugh and are not in any way troubled by it. That may really hook her attention.

Any kind of pattern interruption or response on your part that’s positive and unexpected can really hook her in.

She may finally only hook in to your touch. You may have to touch her in order to start getting her hooked in.

She may hook in to your fun learning frame. You’re there to learn and have fun.

She may hook into the fact that you’re screening her or the implied compliment.  She may hook in to the implied, playful screening and the fact that you’re screening her in a playful way.

The trick is to have fun, steady your ground, and get stable in your feet with a nice flow of energy in your body no matter what happens and plays out. Those initial 5 (to 10) minutes are about sparring in a friendly way and seeing where she’s open.

In Part 2 of this lesson, we’ll explore how to hook her interest with your closing.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S.  One of the things that I talked about in my recent London seminar is the path of sexualized curiosity as a way of being very powerful to hook women’s interest and seduce intelligent women.  To watch this (and 50+ more hours more of my latest and greatest) in the privacy of your own home, click here now.

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

As I’ve said before, on more than one occasion in fact, one of the lessons I teach is that you use the information, vibe, and feedback a woman gives you to craft your patterning and banter to connect YOU with her erotic desires, wants and needs.

Part of what gets you this information is your ability to be observant and be curious.

Now, note I said BE curious. Not SEEM curious. This student understands the distinction but is still struggling:

> I understand how to SEEM curious, I want to BE curious. I find that 9 out of 10 times when speaking to people (not just women) I couldn’t care less about what they are saying even though I do care about them as a person. My mind starts to go into overdrive thinking about everything else I have going on in life. I find this isn’t helpful at work, with family, friends or SS. I think people can definately see this when talking with them.

Ok: here’s some food for thought…

For me, curiosity is about wanting to know how things REALLY work, beneath the surface appearance. It’s about looking for the large rules, controlling principles, hidden dynamics in ALL of life.

You can’t easily get curious only about women. Get curious about EVERYTHING.

Get curious about the inner processes that drive people that they themselves aren’t even aware of.

I think you’ll find you’ll see a whole ‘nother picture and have a much different (stronger) level of clarity that will boost your success with women, not to mention other areas where your current reality falls short of the potential you know you have.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Through lecture, drills and live demonstrations with female volunteers, at my live Speed Seduction® seminars you will not only learn whatever you need for your success with women (on your terms, as you define it) but with my unmatched skills at change work you’ll feel the changes happening for you effortlessly as your mind opens to new levels of skill, power, and personal transformation.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE NOW

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

As a decent, caring person, many smart guys will find themselves wanting to help and support the women they care about.

Yet, there’s that balance, between being strong and supportive, versus becoming her therapist, or worse, her emotional tampon.  Let’s say she is going through a really tough time.  In empathy, you want her to really open up and share everything in her life with you.

Be careful though.  When we care about someone, we can get pulled into their stuff so deep that it colors who we are and our own energy and sense of possibility and approach to life.  It will certainly affect the energy she feels coming from YOU.

Let me say this: some issues are best resolved ENERGETICALLY, as opposed to behavior or language. Pay attention to your own behavior and vibe when you are with her. Set the intent to understand where she is at, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THERE FOR YOURSELF.

Do you notice what I said? I said without HAVING TO. Doesn’t mean you can’t, it means it is a choice.

When we care about someone, the heart opens and EVERYTHING comes out. Joy, lust, caring, sadness, grief, anger. If she’s carrying around a lot of painful baggage, she may want to hold it in and being around you makes that impossible; you open her heart and out it comes.

Women revive the emotions associated with the topics that they are talking about.  Therefore, it is crucial to know what topics to introduce to get her emotions moving in the way we want them to move – towards lust, desire, fascination, desire, connection, etc.  And away from the pain.

Doesn’t that just make sense?  And aren’t you serving HER by helping her make a NEW CHOICE?

Here are a few topics that you should always have a way to bring up with women.

• Fantasy, escape, diversion, adventure
• Indulgence, cravings, spoiling herself
• Connections, with others, nature, beauty, something bigger and more beautiful than she expected

Look: life brings pain. No avoiding that. It’s what we wisely do with it.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. For many many, many more easy ways to direct a woman’s energy and emotions in a way that serves BOTH of you…all the way to your bed (or floor or couch), check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

It’s one thing to achieve mastery over your use of the four vibes to fearlessly and effortlessly get all the women you want.  But what happens when you have a “bad vibe” going on inside you that’s holding you back and stopping you from making your move?

Many guys tell me that they get visions of failure before they even walk up to her.  The visions just sort of “take over”, and when they do, the guy’s girl-getting game gets thrown in the hole, locked up and thrown away the key, and the only thing left on tap is this feeling and vision of failure.

Next time this happens to you, consider the following:

Those images would not be in your mind if you were not choosing to value certainty (even the certainty of FAILURE) over being uncertain.

Look: the real issue here is not even the content of what you are visualizing. Or whether you are doing so deliberately… or, as several students have put it, “It just takes over me”.

You are trying to gain information about what you can do in the world and how people will respond to you from a system/process (in this case, your internal imagery and dialog) that can’t possibly provide that information for you.

In short: you are racking your brain trying to come up with 100% CERTAIN success before you take an actual step. That isn’t possible, of course- so now the system is running the OTHER way, providing certainty for you that you will FAIL.  By doing so, you are REJECTING YOURSELF before she even gets to decide to drag you into her room and fuck your brains out.

Fear of failure isn’t pleasant. But at least you are CERTAIN you are going to fail with all that crap running through your head.

Now What Is All Of This Really Doing At A Deeper Level?

It is reinforcing your self-image as someone who needs guarantees before he takes a step into the real world.

You are so distracted by the content of your imagery and dialog that you aren’t seeing the process it is trying to serve. And you aren’t seeing the underlying self-image that is being fed by this nonsense.

Guess what?

You are NOT a goddamned fragile child.

You will NOT fall apart if someone doesn’t like you or accept your overtures.

It will simply be unpleasant. But you may also find that the energy that is released after you breakthrough and beat your fear feels better than anything you’ve ever experienced in your life.

I recommend you imagine that you can reach in and find the “you” that doesn’t need guarantees. That can let loose, say “fuck it” and just go see what happens.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Imagine your life with no need for assurance or guarantee of success of any kind before you took bold (and fun) seduction steps, as you walked like a giant where other people fear to step? Now, what if you could get off your excuse-making, “I understand but don’t do it” ass, and get moving right now in the real world with the success you’ve always wanted?

Find the solutions to all of this – and much more – by clicking here.

Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,

One of the components of what I call the waiting game (what others call the “dating” game) is this: “dating” is designed by the romance industry to get men to shower women with free stuff – free dinners, free candy, free movie tickets, free dirty weekend in Vegas, etc…

Just the other day, someone asked me this question: “Is there a pattern to turn the tables – to get women to buy ME free stuff – to take me to dinner, buy me clothes, take me to the movies, etc.”

I think there’s a word for that: gigolo.  And how nice would THAT be?

But: you see, there’s a huge PRIMARY error in that way of thinking.

What is that error?

You are thinking in terms of behavior – what you want her to do – BEFORE you think of what emotional states she ought to be in such that it would be natural for her to WANT to give you that behavior.

Rather than try to create a pattern specifically geared to getting her to, say, buy you a Rolls Royce, how about generating such amazing feelings inside of her – feelings that she craves – feelings that she ratifies and affirms that she LOVES – that she then feels motivated to please you in EVERY possible way?

Then, and ONLY then, would I even think about patterns that allow you to embed suggestions to buy you stuff.

Do you see the error?

Remember: as a master of your girl-getting game, you are responsible for creating the state in which she is willing, indeed eager, to go where you want her to go.

Peace and piece,
RJ

P.S. Again, there is NOTHING wrong at all (per se) with wanting to have a woman buy you lots of stuff. It is how you are structuring your thinking FIRST in terms of her behavior before you think about structuring her emotions and state of mind.  To get a ton more on this topic “in a box”, click here.