Showing Up Attractive, Part I: Getting Out Of Your Own Way
Dear Speed Seduction® Students,
The overwhelming majority of you have responded by saying you want me to discuss my discoveries and thoughts regarding showing up attractive.
So here we go with that part of the discussion. I’ll be posting videos as well as written articles and I encourage your feedback. As in my live events, the more you participate the more you receive from me.
Getting Out Of Your Own Way
Over the years, I’ve noticed that guys who come to this work are significantly getting in their own way by reinfecting and reinforcing the very patterns of thinking and acting that have been keeping them stuck. As by I’ve said, it’s very difficult to free yourself from your prison when you are consistently re-creating the prison from moment to moment.
Rumination, Rehearsal And Ruins
Whenever I give a talk or teach a seminar, one of the first questions I ask is: “How many here dwell on their mistakes with women? Raise your hand if you spend a lot of time running your mistakes or disappointments over and over in your head.”
At least 70 percent of the room will raise their hand. The other remaining 30% are either returning students who are doing very well with women thanks to studying and applying my material or they are too embarrassed to raise their hands.
The fact is that ruminating on mistakes, disappointments and fuck-ups is a very common human activity, and even more common for the men who are seeking massive improvement in their love and sex lives.
The next question I always ask is: how many here think they are doing this because they have “low self-esteem”? Or a “fear of success”? Or because Mommy made them stay down in the basement and dress like a girl?
There is, in fact, only one reason “why” you might dwell on your mistakes with women: you are trying to find a solution to the situation so you can do better and enjoy the results you want.
But here is the thing: if you could have figured it out that way, you would have done so by now. That process just doesn’t work, no matter what kind of content you put through it. No matter what you put in the refrigerator it is never going to be a toaster. That’s not its purpose, function or design.
Even Worse…
Here is the greater challenge: dwelling on mistakes, over and over, is actually a very effective way to virtually guarantee the mistake gets repeated.
The basic rule is this: there is no basic difference between what you dwell on, over and over again, and what you rehearse. And what you rehearse over and over again, is basically what you are programming your brain to do.
Which means this: the very act of dwelling and ruminating on mistakes almost certainly guarantees you will achieve the opposite of what you intend. Rather than find a solution to the challenge, you will program back in the error.
There is far, far more to say about this. But for now I’d like to invite your feedback on this. Tell me what you think and if you think it is an accurate picture of one of the challenges you have faced or currently do face.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. With an effective, sure way to learn from every situation, you will develop a “stealth charisma” that is subtly attractive, completely undetectable, and utterly independent of any external validation from anyone. Click here to learn how, starting now…
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